It’s the simple things in life..

I don’t know, maybe I’m a person who’s easily pleased but I find that a lot of simple gestures/events/gifts/purchases …


Like finding a bonus curly fry among your normal, boring fries.

Like buying a really good music album.

Like receiving a call from an old friend.

Like replacing a burned light bulb or refilling the windscreen cleaning fluid on my own.

Like refusing a plastic bag at the sales counter.

Or maybe purchasing something that may seem ordinary, like an external hard disk.

… are enough to lift my spirits. Kinda like this guy..

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Things I’ve learned after completing the review paper..

1) The only way you can beat procrastination is to fight fire with fire. Procrastinate hard enough until you’re so sick of wasting time that you’ll eventually get to work.


2) Following up on procrastination, I find that I feel a general sense of accomplishment after finishing minor tasks which really hinders my work progress. For example, I always feel like I deserve a rest despite only finishing 2 paragraphs of text/reading 1 article.

If only there’s a progress bar that updates itself as I go along to indicate how much of work that has actually been completed.


3) It’s amazing what you can accomplish once a rigid deadline has been set. I have never finished more than 5 articles a day prior to the Dec 15 deadline. In the 5 days leading up to Dec 15, I completed about 50-55, averaging approx. 10 a day.


4) Friends in need are friends indeed.


5) Working on the bed never works.


6) Synctoy is an awesome program for backing up/syncing files between different computers


7) Chemistry is actually a pretty fun subject to learn. If only I’d known this during my SPM years.


8) Contrary to what I thought before, it *is* necessary to print out all those articles despite being able to read them from a screen. The ability to highlight/scribble notes next to the blocks of text is very, very useful.


9) I hated it (still do, actually) when I came across articles filled with pointlessly long and over-conjoined sentences using words that were picked from a thesaurus and yet, when I started writing my review paper, I found myself doing the same because doing otherwise somehow made my paper look elementary.


10) Wikipedia is a life-saver. Donated $10. Only $10? Well yeah, that’s $10 more than most of the Malaysian students would have contributed, I’m sure!


11) I love stocking up on books borrowed from the library and not reading them.


12) I’m so sick of Mcdonald’s. Because I tend to work till late or go to work after everyone had had lunch, eating in the car after passing the Mcdonald’s Drive-Thru was the easiest and most efficient way to fill up. (45 mins drive after all)

Hence, Mcdonald’s almost every other day. Ugh, absolutely sick of it.


13) The working habit that took almost 1.5 months to put into routine took only 1.5 days to get rid of. Back to bumming for me.


14) When in the world have sticky notes urging you to “concentrate!” and “work hard, don’t procrastinate!” ever work? They’re like a nagging mother, I tune them out after 5 seconds.


15) Authors who don’t put the title of the articles cited in the references section can fuck right off.


16) There is no 16, actually. That is all.

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Review Paper >>>>> Me

The good news is the set in stone deadline is December 15, which means, complete or not, my work will end then. The bad news is, I’m getting absolutely bum-raped by this review work.

It was something I expected to have finished by early November. I really upped the effort during mid-October and it’s now December but I’m still no closer to finishing it!

I’m just being asked to learn too many things too soon. There are loads of biological terminology and concepts in there that I’ve no complete grasp of; understandable given my last encounter with it was during SPM. I had to wiki biological terms every odd sentence!

Add Chemistry into the mix as well, and I’m really struggling. I bought an A-Levels Chemistry book a couple of weeks ago and that really helped me understand the concepts but still, most of the chemistry involved in the papers I’m reading are really high level stuff.

It would be alright if I was just absorbing stuff off it but no, I was asked to review it, meaning providing critical commentary on something I didn’t really have a clue about! All these contributed to my slow progress as I had to do a lot of side reading on top of going through all the articles AND summarizing them into a cohesive paper, which is a lot harder than it sounds.

Strange to say, though, I’m kind of enjoying being thrown into the deep end and being forced to sink or swim. At least once I survive this (if, actually), I’ll have a fairly high understanding on my field. Doing a doctorate was never supposed to be easy anyway.

Oh, and Windows Live Writer rocks! This rant was a bit of an excuse to test out this Microsoft offering actually and I have to say, it’s made me want to blog a bit more. It' just makes things so easy.

Not kidding about the work stress, though. I can’t wait for December 15 to come!

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=D

=(

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I got my first birthday card..

... this year!!

Yes, it's by Domino's Pizza but I don't really care. They have a gift for me as well. Get a 2nd Regular Pizza within the same order at only RM3! I really love Domino's New York Crust pizza so this will come in really handy.

Thanks guys. I mean, you even sent it early presumably after considering that my birthday's at the end of the month so I'll have time to make full use of the offer. It's a little early but I think I can safely say that this might just be the most useful present I'll receive this year. I can do nothing more other than express my sincere grati....... waiiiiit a minute...

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

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Adam Lambert's New Album Cover..

What. The. Fuck.

.

My favourite phrase..

.. in the entire English vocabulary:


Deadline Extension!

.

After watching this..

I remember just how much I used to despise this little twat.






Look at how happy he was scoring against United.











And now, this...










In the words of Sir Alex, he was "desperate to play for us". Not so smug when your career's heading down the pipes, huh? Huh?!

Out of the frying pan, into the fire..

It's been a really funny 3 weeks for me since I came back from Melbourne. Just one mishap after another, whether through my own blur-ness or just pure shit luck.


There's the whole missing the flight thing because I misread the flight times (Wed 0045 means you leave on Tuesday night). That one was still bearable because the extra time meant not having to rush back from the day trip the night before to get to the airport.


The day I came back from the trip, I met my supervisor who told me there's a pretty good chance I would have to do a 2-3 month attachment overseas. Which would be fine except it's gonna be in Hyderabad, India. I've heard very bad things from my colleagues about that place and they were only there for a week!



Then of course, there was the whole girlfriend issue which really took a toll on me. The issue is still not resolved, by the way. Basically, she got a bit, erm, suicidal. And me being too nice a guy, in the end decided to "give it one last try". I know, "but you said it was over the last time". Well, she fucking cut herself, okay? What do you want me to do?


Who am I kidding, I really don't give 2 shits about this relationship anymore. I just don't want her blood on my hands. Face it, I'm never going to be able to be free, am I? Why can't she be like all the other girls? We call it splits, and we move on with our own happy lives. Nooo, it has to be this dramatic.


Anyway, I've been trying to filter this issue out of my head because it depresses me every time I think about it but also because I don't have time for this. There's a review paper due at the start of November and I'm only about 50% in!



That's not the end of my misery, though. My dad brought the Vios out the other day probably because it was conveniently parked outside and he didn't want to go through the hassle of opening the automatic gate to drive his car. Not the point. He caught a cold on the way back and so, wound down the windows on the way home. He didn't, however, wind it back up when he came home.


Now my cd pouch containing all my favourite CD's were inside the Vios so even though it hasn't rained for days, of course it rained that night! My CD's were, thus, soaked in rainwater overnight. I tried drying it for a day but when I tried playing them in the player, some of the songs started skipping. RM800 worth of painstakingly sourced albums, ruined.


(image of my wet CD's) ***


Then, comes the self-merk. My Wira's road tax was going to expire soon so we sorted all that out and my mum came back with the new road tax sticker. She asked me to put it on when I'm free and for some reason I can't remember, I delayed doing it.


So a couple of nights ago, I decided to get to it. Opened the door, sat down and attempted to peel off the road tax sticker. If you've tried it before, you'd know the thing's a bitch to take down but removed it I did in the end; in pieces of course.


I then proceeded to open the glove compartment to stick on the new sticker. When I couldn't find it, I suddenly felt something was amiss. I stared at the "old" road tax sticker I tore down minutes ago.




(image of a torn up road tax sticker saying "18 OKT 2010") ***



My mum helped me replace the sticker without my knowing, and so, yes, I hilariously tore down the new one. There was some consolation in that I won't have to pay the full price for a new one since they have a record of the road tax renewal but still, fucking hell...


Hang on, there's more..


The next morning, I slept in a bit and was hence, running late for the lab session I was supposed to conduct.


Now, there's this sort of a flyover that I've been passing by for my last 4 years of driving to Semenyih and there's never EVER been a speed trap there. Since I was a bit late, I thought, screw it, just this once, I was going to push the limit a bit.


Of course, given the theme of this post, you know what happened, right? Yes, of all the days, that one time I decide to push the speed limit at a flyover with no known history of speedtraps, a policeman sits there with a speed camera in all his full glory.


You're usually given a 10 km/h leeway in Malaysia. The speed limit was 90km/h. My speedometer was hovering at about 100 km/h, give or take. Knowing my luck, I'm probably going to be penalized for going 101 km/h.



So right now, you're thinking, poor CM, it's been rough for you. Ohhh no, it doesn't end there. Not yet, anyway.



So I went into the office after the lab session and turned on my computer, getting ready to put some solid hours into finishing that damn report. I guess I really shouldn't have been surprised when this showed up on my monitor:



(image of a computer screen saying windows won't start because some file's corrupted) ***



For no reason at all, Windows decided to die on me even though I shut it down properly the previous time. Called the IT guy, brought the computer to his room and he told me there could be a chance he has to reformat my drive.


Oh, one problem though, all my work files are inside and yes, I have no backup copies of them..



This is the sort of run of shit luck that drives people insane and plunges them into insanity, in case you didn't know..







Well, not really but yeah, for now, I'll just choose to laugh off the whole matter and get on with my work. Depression is for people with time on their hands and I'm a bit too busy for that.



You win, Universe, you win..








*** I copied the image files off my phone into the memory card and when I plugged the memory card into the computer, the images just disappeared. Into thin air. Like I never copied them in the first place. Wow, okay, this is getting a bit creepy now..

Samsung D900 >>> iPhone tbf...

I remember going batshit over the iPhone back in the day. Way before Maxis brought it in. Back before there was the iPhone 3G. When it was still actually cool to own one and do multi-touch gestures with your photos or surf the net on your phone.


My hunger for it then was indescribable. I would go through my daily routine and start wondering at various points ,"You know what would be perfect right about now? An iPhone."


Of course, back then, the iPhone wasn't so readily available as they are now. Grey market imports cost a ton, well RM2500 to be exact, but it was a lot of money for a student who lived off his part time jobs and ahem, doesn't like to go to mummy and daddy to get him toys.


There was a loophole though and that was that in the US, you could actually buy iPhones off the shelves without signing a contract. That means you could get subsidized phone prices without committing to a 24 year phone deal. The reason was that the phone didn't work until you activated your contract at home. Hackers managed to find a crack, though, and that meant RM1400 iPhone's for everyone!


I had friends in the US and I would always ask once every few days if it was alright for them to get one for me, to the point of being an irritant. Trouble for me was, that was in March-April and they wouldn't be back for another couple of months, and when you are a tech geek who has a serious gadget craving, it's WAY TOO FUCKING LONG!







The source of much misery in Early 2008.



So I spent days upon weeks trawling through the online forums looking for ways to avoid being taxed if I got one of my friends to ship it home. There wasn't a way though and that meant I always had to try to get over my obsession with it and fail miserably. I would go to the Apple page every day and just stare at pictures of it or go to Youtube to watch videos of it in action. I didn't even know a girl for whom I obsessed that much over! Well I did actually, but that's a story for another day...



Finally, about a few days before I would have gone insane, out pops a saviour. Sharon's sister who was an air stewardess was flying to the US for a couple of days and very generously agreed to help me buy one! She got one for herself too in the end, probably by seeing how jubilant I was by my unexpected fortune and wondering what all the fuss was all about.



I got it off her the night after she came back and spent the entire night trying to unlock and activate the thing. It wasn't as easy as these days where you just plug your phone in, click a few buttons and be done with it. It was relatively more tedious back then, and there was also a danger you might brick your phone. I was frustrated the entire night and didn't actually succeed in getting it to work until 6 am the next morning, yes, I stayed up all the way!


Of course, my shit luck was existent even back then, I dropped it on the road 4 days after I got it, and there were huge dents over the back of it. I was actually in shock for about 30 minutes after that happened but I suppose it's good to get that first bump out of the way.



So what does this entire, boring I'm sure, back story to my 1st generation iPhone have to do with the actual topic of the post? Well, nothing actually, I just thought I'd say something about how I got it and I just veered off track. Massively.



So anyway, fast forward till 2 days ago when I finally had it with the iPhone as a phone and changed back to my old Samsung D900 and I have to say I never realized how much I missed having a dedicated phone phone.





My old baby.



It seemed hard to believe now that there really were days before the iPhone but really, I'm enjoying using my D900 more than I am the Jesus Phone. So my iPhone is basically now just a rich man's iPod touch with unresponsive, faulty buttons. My, how out of love have I fallen with it.


You see, the D900 is a phone first and foremost, and all the other fancy stuff are just things it happens to do, whereas the iPhone is a great entertainment and internet device but quite frankly, is a piece of shit when it comes to this dialing/calling business.


Consider this,

To make a phone call:

iPhone: Press home button, slide to unlock, press phone button, go to favourites/contacts, flick until name is present. press name, press number.


Samsung: Slide open, press contacts, search number, press call.



To dial a number:


iPhone: Press home button, slide to unlock, press phone button, press keypad, press numbers.

Samsung: Slide open, press numbers.



To answer a call:


iPhone: Look at phone, slide to answer.

Samsung: If you can't be bothered, just slide open to answer.



To hang up:


iPhone: Look at phone, press end call.

Samsung: Slide close to end call.



Get my drift? And this is not considering all the waiting you have to do during the menu transitions on the iPhone and the unresponsive home button which is a hardware defect that eventually happens to all iPhone's. There are just too many steps to make a phone call and sometimes when you're in a hurry, it really gets on your nerves!


The Samsung is a small, lightweight phone that doesn't make my jeans feel heavy nor cause a huge bulge on it (This is not a euphemism for anything!). And it's allowing me to actually enjoy making/receiving calls again.


I heart my Samsung D900. Welcome back, buddy. I missed ya!

It's Finally Happened..

.. and before this, I was convinced that it's what I've always wanted. It was supposed to be the best thing for the both of us.



I'm just really sorry I had to break her heart like that. It shattered me inside to see her crying like she did. As much as I wanted to hug her, tell her it's going to be alright and give us "one last chance", I just couldn't.



After all, if I wasn't that interested in her, I shouldn't be wasting her time. I haven't really been happy in this relationship for a long time. While of course, there were countless memorable moments that we shared, and that I will still cherish, at the back of my mind, I've always felt like it wouldn't last. Or so I believed.



While before this, I was quite clear about the reasons why the both of us won't work, right now, I won't be able to offer a single explanation if you asked. All the supposed reasons suddenly seem so trivial now.



It has been a really numb 2 days. What was supposed to be a relief for me is turning out to be the complete opposite: grief. How annoying. Something time will heal, I suppose. If that fails, I suppose a looming review paper deadline should be enough to keep my mind off matters.



Haha. Hah. Sigh...

After declining to go to the library the previous night..

CM: So the next time you guys are going to the library, lemme know okay, I wanna join..


Everyone: ...................................



CM: What? I can't study at home, can't seem to concentrate, no study table and all..




Everyone:










CM: What? So I can't study and work hard now la, is it?




*Some minor altercation with Min Li over not going to the library when she asked*



Everyone:






And that's when something clicked in my head..



CM: Oh wait, oh no, did you guys mean the pub, Library in Cineleisure yesterday?



Everyone: (realizes he was being serious the whole time)



CM: ...... you guys did mean the pub, Library...



*MASSIVE LAUGHTER*



Min Li: I was like, fair enough la, he didn't go since he didn't know Pei Fern and her friends very well.... Why would Pei Fern be studying anyway?



*MORE LAUGHTER*



Heng Lean: I thought he was joking so I didn't wanna say anything..



Ka Seong: Yeah la, who would go study on a Friday night? Lucky you didnt show up with books and short pants yesterday!




CM:

Just got out of a time warp...

Well, sort of. I was taking a break from reading the journal articles just now and brilliantly decided to rest by doing MORE reading. Blogs, that is.



I used to have a friendster blog and I forgot all about it until just now when I decided to read everything again right from the very first post.



Fuck me, the things I wrote back then. Some made me laugh, most made me cringe but it was all great fun. Still though, what the hell was I thinking with some of those posts? And my writing style, gosh, it was horrible to read; ending every sentence with "...." and adding weih and lor and whatever into it. I've no idea why I thought it was alright to type like that back then. Granted, it's just a blog but it looked like some teenager wrot... oh, hang on, never mind...



Writing annoyances aside, reading it was like travelling back in time and during those moments, I really felt like I was living everything all over again from A-levels, when I first started the blog.



A special mention for the girlfriend posts in 2005: they were absolutely cringe-worthy! Damn, I really did like her a lot back then, huh? The fool, I wish I could just post a comment to the "2005 me" to warn him of what lay ahead. And also to tone down on the mushiness: oi, have you no shame?!



Anyway, once I was done, I decided to look for more blogs to read, and so I proceeded to dig up my friends' old blogs. Haha, I could copy and paste snippets of their old blog posts in msn to have a laugh but nah, I'll let them discover it for themselves. It's the whole process of reading everything word for word in chronological order that makes it fun.



Reading a number of the old blogs did make me feel sad in a way though, in that I never realized how distant I grew from some people until I read about the things I supposedly used to do with them. We were that close? Wow, what happened?



And once I was done reading, I needed something like 10 seconds to readjust to the present; entering a sort of mini reflective phase where I realize how long it has been already since ____ etc etc.



It's this whole "looking back" experience that made me glad I did decide to blog all those years ago, even if updates became more and more sparse. I could sort of see how much I've grown and learnt, besides being able to snigger at some of the posts.



Hehehe, CM, you hilarious/sad/naive/lame little bastard. (Yes, I do realize this is what the future me would be thinking too when he reads my recent posts next time)

" How come everything I think I need...

... always come with batteries? "


A line off the John Mayer album I bought in Melbourne, which is strangely reflective of what I thought of the trip. I remember weighing the opportunity cost of going there for a break: a new laptop and other pointless stuff that could be bought with the RM4k ++.


In the end, I am really glad I went through with it. It was such great fun; a very welcomed break from the routine of the past few months. All the lovely places and the food, gosh the food (Cafe Vue grilled burger, Rose Garden Chinese, Miss Marples' scones, Boost Juice, Squire's Loft's awesome steak etc etc).


Of course, it wouldn't be nearly half as fun without the company.


In particular, (alphabetical order):


Alex for the couch, sweet, sweet, couch, and pretty much everything else that made the trip fun.


Chee Weng for the promise of awesome barbeque but ending up with the still quite okay Oriental Spoon equivalent. Came through with the steak dinner though, great stuff.


Daniel for recommending Cafe Vue, fucking awesome, top 3 meals I had there.


Jacey (sp?) for driving and Claypot King, and her boyfriend Leon for the humbling experience.


Jack for drunken Flight Control and Doodle Jump mastery.


Joseph and Ka Faii for PES 2v2 lessons.


Susan for the lunch.


Trisha, Seow Yen and Seow Mun for the new language and the countless laughter (both with and at me) throughout.



And all the hi-bye people I met whilst there..




Pfft, and now, back to bloody work. Yawnnn, fucking brilliant....

The Perfect Breakfast

When I'm in a hurry to get to the campus in the mornings (which is just about every day), breakfast options are usually limited since I eat while I drive to save time. Crackers or a hastily-prepared cheese sandwich is usually how I get by. Suffice to say, it's not very enjoyable.



So today I decided to try something new and made a little detour to the Centrepoint Mcdonald's Drive-Thru to get something to eat during the 45 minute drive.



Now I've tried Mcdonald's breakfast before but never while driving and there's something about it that makes it so right. The Sausage McMuffin with Egg, besides being absolutely delicious, is just the right size to hold with one hand while driving. Ditto the hash brown. And gosh, I can really get used to hot milk tea in the morning.



Note: The act of eating and driving this morning was performed by a male driver. Ladies, please DO NOT attempt to replicate this dangerous act!



It's truly a wonderful way to start the morning. Makes me wonder why I don't do this more often. I definitely shall go back for more tomorrow!





Oh and did I mention the Sausage McMuffin with Egg is abso-bloody-lutely delicious?!




Dear Atheists: Proof that there is a God.

So I was idling at the office..

.. the other day, just mindlessly browsing some sites while waiting for my samples to dry, when I saw a Gizmodo post about a leaked Iron Man 2 trailer. Naturally appealing to my inner geek, I clicked on the link which directed me to a Youtube video of said trailer.


Now, I was in the office of course and there was no way I was gonna have loud building explosions blaring out of my computer speakers so I fished out my trusty earphones, plugged them in and got down to some Iron Man action.


The damned video, however, was shot in a cinema by someone who had very shaky hands. The audio was utter shit as well. Not unlike your "cinema quality" pasar malam DVDs. It's all good though, because I could still make out what was going on somewhat.


Link to the Iron Man 2 trailer



Now I couldn't make out what the characters were saying because of the blurred audio so I turned my audio up, almost to the max. From the trailer, the upcoming movie was what I expected it to be, loud kabooms, wisecracks by Robert Downey and a brunette Scarlett Jo, what more could you ask for? When the Iron Man 2 title faded in at the end of the trailer, there were loud cheers by the people in the cinema.


Feeling wowed, I decided to watch the trailer again. Halfway into it though, one of my colleagues walked past me en route to the pantry and made a sound gesture with his hand, kinda like a talking mouth gesture. I didn't think too much of it until it hit me. Could it be? Oh no, oh hell no.


I quickly took off my earphones and found out to my horror that, yes, my computer speakers were bellowing out the audio from the trailer as well! And it was really loud! Scrambling for the mouse, I quickly turned the sound off.


Then I sat back and let it all sink in. So for almost 10 minutes, the entire office got to listen to some ignorant bastard watching some bootleg trailer video, complete with super loud explosions and background crowd cheers with the volume cranked up to the max?


And that ignorant bastard is me?



Fuck.

Girls are not to be messed with..

Some song off some girl band off some radio:





"Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should stab you or kiss you
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues"



It's the nonchalance with which they sing "stab" that creeped the shit out of me. Like "stab" means "to hit playfully" or something. Girls = psycho. Fact.

The only crying shame..

.. about being stuck with a person you've no real interest in is having to just watch the other one you do fancy waltz on by.



Pfft...

The Shackles of Marriage

CM : Hey, so are you going to the dinner tonight?

Acquaintance : Oh, I'm married so I can't go..

CM : Oh, haha, okay... *moves along*


.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(Wait, she can't go BECAUSE she's married?)

People who couple a common noun...

... or a proper noun with -ing to make a verb that doesn't exist. Seriously, fuck the fuck off! It's the most annoying abuse of the English language since the negligent use of the word "literally".


For example, "Facebook-ing", "Revision-ing" (It's revising, you moron!), "Assignment-ing", "Starbuck-ing" etc etc.


It wasn't funny when advertisers thought taglines like "Have you Dom-ed today?" and "Hang on, I'm Bueno-ing" were a good idea and it most certainly isn't "funny" now. I mean, hang on, *adds to list of people who should be lined up and shot dead*, for fuck's sake!

Ouch..

It's funny how just 2 years back, after not winning the league title for 4 years, Manchester United winning the 2006/2007 league title felt like the best thing in the world. After the European Cup final defeat last night, however, the 2008/2009 one just feels like a consolation prize.


There's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere. I'll look for it after nursing my emotional wounds.


Curse you, hope and escalated expectations!



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*




On a much brighter note, I've achieved another first in my life 3 days ago. I won my first ever sporting medal! The University of Nottingham Staff Futsal Tournament. Prior to this, I've never in my life won a medal in any sporting event.


I used to finish out of the qualification times every year in my high school cross-country runs. I got beat in the first round of the Adidas 3-on-3 Streetball competition. I was never the track runner or the high jumper in both primary and high school. I score 180 degrees own-goals. Recently, I even became the guy who always got picked last when they were drafting team members at the neighbourhood basketball court.



So, winning the futsal competition as a first choice goalkeeper 3 days ago naturally felt surreal. It felt great. Of course, the fact that it's a Mickey Mouse competition that nobody really gives a damn about is not lost on me. Kinda like winning a Research Award under the "Male Student in Universities Located in Semenyih, Malaysia, with the surname Ng and height above 177.5 and below 178.5cm"category.


But after all the sporting mediocrity I had to bear during my short 21 years of life, I think I deserve to bask in the glory of winning a gold medal for a while.


I'm awesome.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


I don't know if it's yet another moral high ground moment for me but lately, I'm just not into gossips anymore. You know, the type where you bad-mouth somebody behind their backs but act nonchalant in front of them.


The first reason is because I believe there's always 2 sides to a story. Lots of people know it but not many practice it. Which is why I won't automatically agree with you if you're ranting to me about how the world is so unfair or how someone is such a moron. It'd be a lot more helpful to you if I step back and offer you an honest outsider's perspective rather than nod blindly along with you.


The other reason is because I'm just past the stage of forming cliques and marginalizing people whom the "gang" doesn't like. Partly because I'm not gonna let popular opinion in a group sway my judgment of a person. I find that the argument laid out is often very one-sided to whoever you're hearing it from. But also because I find the whole concept of bad-mouthing someone you dislike to a group of somebody else to be very distasteful. Almost like you're trying to get them to dislike him/her as well. Fair enough if they're sheep. Just leave me out of it.


Also, it's never a good idea to burn bridges. I know from personal experience that fate's a cruel bitch and somehow, sooner or later, you're gonna have to go to the person you "hate" for help. Of course, I'm contradicting what I said in the first paragraph i.e. being two-faced but it doesn't have to be that way. Most of the time, I find that whatever I hate in a person is really very trivial and it's often much healthier for me to be the bigger man and just shrug it off.


Plus, I'm against negative environments, especially at work. Everything can be worked out in a mature manner. There really is no benefit to be reaped from antagonizing someone or resorting to childish name-calling as someone from the university did recently. He must be in his 30's, acting like a little child in his e-mails. Frankly, I felt embarassed for him.



Yeah, this is really starting to feel like another moral high ground moment for me.

Yawnn..

I realized a while back that I seemed to have lost the ability to sustain an interesting conversation in Mandarin. Beyond the usual questions like "How's life lately?" and "Any interesting plans coming up?", talking to someone genuinely felt like a complete chore and if there's anything that bugs me, it's the feeling that the person I'm talking to thinks I'm a bore. (Hey, it rhymes!)


Lately though, I haven't even been able to strike up engaging conversations in English! (But CM, you never have been interesting lulz!!11!!). "Catching up" phone conversations is usually cut short so that it doesn't descend into awkward silence, MSN messenger threads generally end abruptly and lunch with friend(s) is filled with small talk and boring topics.


This happens especially with acquaintances. I just run out of things to say beyond "How's work/studies lately?". Of course it doesn't help if the other person gives one worded replies as well. Maybe I just can't be arsed to "talk" anymore. I mean, why should I be the one to keep the conversations flowing?


Seriously though, this is worrying me slightly. Am I *gasp* boring?

Dear 11 Year Old CM

A very interesting topic from the hallowed Football365 Forum, "If you could write a letter to yourself 10 years ago, knowing what you do now.."..


"

Dear me,


First of all, to prove that this is not some sick prank from your friends, I'll tell you something only you would know: You secretly adore the Backstreet Boys back in primary school even though you claim to hate everything about them and you had a crush on your Standard 1 class teacher.


Now that I've undoubtedly got your attention, there are more pressing matters to discuss, some of which you would not understand, but for both our sakes, bear with me and read on. I've compiled a list of instructions, complete with dates of events, that you must obey. They are as follows:



1) Seeing as it should be May 1999 when you read this, I think I would be correct when I say you're still using that black Chicago Bulls schoolbag which you think is so cool but is actually about half your body size and looks absolutely ridiculous.


Do NOT insist on using it until Form 2 when the strap finally breaks. Ditch it now and ask mum to get you something nice and affordable like a Bodypac since she's still very apprehensive about spending over RM100 on schoolbags.


Actually, you know what, fuck that, go to a shop in Sunway Pyramid called Tropicana Life and get a bag there. Pick a nice funky design. Tropicana Life won't be cool until later this year, so you might as well be the trendsetter. Go get em, tiger.



2) Also, middle parting hairstyles are not cool. Go to the hair saloon and tell them you want a spiky hairstyle. They're not exactly cool once you hit college but it's the best you can do in secondary school.


I know you're uneasy about this rebellious hairstyle because of conservative mum, but I tell you what, she actually likes it and thinks you look fresh in it. I know, she told me when I did it in Form 4.



3) Now let me give you some love advice. Letting girls know early on that you fancy them won't work until you've built some kind of rapport between yourselves, so talk and get to know them first. Oh, and don't let anyone in on your crush because secrets never stay secrets.


No need to get so nervous, they're just girls. You might wanna remember that talking about rock bands with girls is boring. Also, you'll eventually take a liking to this girl in Form 3, you'll know who in time. Do not invest a year going after her, she's just not interested.


Oh, oh right, there's a girl in your PMR Maths tuition class in Form 3 who will keep talking to you and also call you every week talking about what you'd think is meaningless drivel. She likes you, you retard!! Don't miss the signals, swoop in for the easy kill, or you'll wonder about what might have been. Ditto that girl scout your cousin will introduce you to.



4) For the love of god, please do well in your SPM. I'll clue you in, you'll eventually have to do a lot of Chemistry related work for your postgrad so don't hate the subject. Read Pn.Sandy's highly spotted questions, they ARE accurate despite what you might think. SPM Physics is so god damned easy so plea, oh wait, you'll actually do well for that, never mind..


Score those A's and get that JPA scholarship. Actually, screw the JPA scholarship, just apply for the HELP A-Levels high achievers' scholarship if you want, but make it a point to join HELP. The people you'll meet there will be awesome.


And don't screw up your A-levels.



5) Sub shirts and skinny jeans are a no-no. Consult Justina for fashion advice early on. You'll get to really know her in Form 5. Go on those shopping trips with her early on instead of halfway through A-levels.



6) This girl you'll be with in 2005. Sigh.......



7) List of buyers' remorse items you should avoid:

i) Pokemon and Lord of the Rings trading cards. No matter how many people play them in school, avoid them like the plague.

ii) MD walkman.

iii) Limp Bizkit CD.

iv) RM70 infrared USB dongle. You're getting scammed, you fool!

v) Money spent on cybercafes. No wait, forget that, cybercafes are cool.




8) Please do not puke in Bar Flam and some club in The Curve. Gosh, can you get any more embarassing?




9) In 2004, please tell her you love her before the moment's lost.



And that's it. There are actually more things I want to tell you but I'll just let you have little stumbles along the way because it won't be life if you don't make mistakes. Wouldn't wanna make things too easy for you.


Talk to you soon. Love you!



Yours faithfully,

2009 CM.




P/S: Greece is gonna win Euro 2004. Stick every cent you have on them before the tournament!!!



"

Michael Jackson...

... has made a comeback of sorts if you haven't heard. He's going to be doing some "final" gigs in London. Started off with 10 dates but they've extended it to next year, I think, since the reception has been very good and also because, well, he's broke.


And according to the Fly FM news, he apparently wants the cast of Harry Potter (ie Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson et al) to be his guests.


Also, heard off Hitz.fm (I drive to Semenyih every day so have plenty of time for the radio), he's planning to adopt, apparently not being content with the 3 children he already has.


Hmm, Michael Jackson interested in kids/teen stars. Yep, makes perfect sense to me. Not insinuating anything like. And in other news, the sky is blue, fire's hot and Josef Fritzl is hunting for a house with a spacious basement.

As "start to the week"s go..

... I don't think I had a worse one this year.



Allow me to list down all the unfortunate events that happened over the course of the weekend.




In chronological order, they are as follow:


a) United lost.





Thanks for listening.

Re: Dream Relationships.

Re: This


My subconscious really does have an annoying propensity to spring dream girlfriends on me. And it's cool, you know, if the girl really was imaginary. You can wake up, laugh it off and carry on with your day because you can't really put a name to that face. Basically, she doesn't exist.


Unfortunately for me, when it does happen, it's always with someone I know or have met before. I have to then suffer for the rest of the day as you know how crushes are. They linger on your mind for days.


Needless to say, I'm posting this right now because I just got out of a dream relationship this morning. I actually woke up cursing when I realized it was "just a dream". It's weird, I know! I feel creeped out just typing this! No, it wasn't a wet dream. As described in the first post, it was just innocent, fun stuff. And yes, she is someone I know. Well, kinda, not really, but yeah, in a very loose way, I guess I can say I know her.


It's irrelevant, in any case, because you can swap her with anyone else and I'd probably have woken up feeling the same way.


Anyway, it got me thinking. Is this my mind's way of telling me something? I'm saying this because I actually felt a lot happier when I was in an imaginary relationship than I am in my real-life one! I can't say it surprises me though because my real-life relationship has been going rough for a little while now. Certain circumstances mean that it's still going on. No, she isn't pregnant!


So maybe my subconscious just decided to let me get a "feel" of how much better things can be to prod me on to break things off in real life.....


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......or maybe I'm just a lunatic! Be right back. Need a cold shower...

People who should be lined up and shot dead

1) Drivers who don't indicate when switching lanes.


2) Drivers who don't give way when I indicate.


3) Drivers who don't wave thank you when I give way.


4) Drivers who tail-gate even though traffic is heavy. Hmm, I think there's a trend developing here.


5) People who chew with their mouths open. The noise is incredibly annoying, especially in a quiet room. I got used to chewing with my mouth closed when I was 6. What's your excuse?!


6) Empty vessels. Here's a tip to remember: Don't talk about something you know nothing about. It makes you looks silly. And it annoys me.


7) People who cut lines.


8) People who take Facebook way too seriously. "The layout's changed. OH NOESS!!!111" It's a freaking website. Get over it.


9) People who don't thank you when you hold the door open for them.


10) Football plastic fans. I swear if I see another "MAN U ROXX" or "LOSERFOOL!! LULZ!!"....


11) Attention seekers. Hey, nobody cares..


12) People who take the high ground when faced with a moral question. E.g. "Oh, I think looks doesn't matter, personality is what is important."

You don't really think that. It just seems like the right answer to you. Jog on..


13) People who like Soulja Boy's music.


14) People who use "You don't have to be a rocket scientist to..." It's incredibly unoriginal and boring. I usually disregard the opinion of anyone who includes this used-to-death cliche in their arguments.






If I come across as a miserable git, it's because it's all my pent up frustration over the past year from (having to deal with)/(running into) such people.



If you're one of the people in the list, I apologize for suggesting you should be shot dead. Here, have a picture of a cute, furry creature to lift your spirits:

On the subject of money..

I came upon a brilliant song in this beginner's piano music book when I started learning a couple of years back. It has a very kiddie melody but it's its lyrics that I want to talk about.

The name of the song is called "Money Isn't Everything". It's true. It's a line we hear everyone bring up all the time, whilst acting all self-righteous. Money isn't everything. I thought the same way too for a while until I read the following:


"
Money isn't everything,
Money can't make you a king,
Money cannot bring success,
Money can't buy happiness.

But of one thing I am sure,
Money doesn't make you poor,
Money doesn't make you sad,
Money can't be all that bad!

"


Truer words have never been spoken..

My Job >>>>> Yours, to be fair..

You:

Really? Pfft, I really don't think so. I get paid everyday to sort out my client's accounts/invest some other rich guy's money/work some machinery in the factory/do some sales/"market" my company's product/etc. and I think it's a highly rewarding experience.

What do you do that is so great? Find cures for cancer?


Me:

Why, yes, that's what i do actually...

I Have Always Hated..

.. chemistry with a passion. It stemmed from my disinterest of the subject during my SPM days and the disgust grew throughout the years as I forgot whatever good that it offered then and only the bad memories remained. The subject comes third on my list of things I despise behind self-given English names and fat pork in Bak Kut Teh.


I made it a point to not take Chemistry during A-levels and did not regret my decision one bit as I watched my friends toil through the lab sessions and open book exams. During my undergraduate years, I was absolutely horrified to find some chemistry-esque chapters in Thermodynamics. Only 3 months ago, just the very thought of the table of elements nauseates me.


Just as well then that at this very moment, I'm sitting here typing this with an SPM Chemistry reference book I borrowed off my sister in front of me; about to brush off the cobwebs and shake the rust off my Chem knowledge as I'm doing my PhD on a project that involves the study of homogeneous reactions under the effect of ultrasound waves. In a word, sonochemistry.


And, wait for it, I think I'm actually starting to like this shit.



You win, Universe, you win...