I am done being the nice, patient guy who's always willing to wait "5 more minutes" and give a friendly "it's okay" when someone apologizes for the 10th time.
The next time a person's actions, or lack of, annoys you and you go on to confront him/her, the likely scenario would unfold:
Knowing the mistake of his/her deeds, said offender would then proceed to explain the situation with a nervous smile thrown in. The smile is of course meant to provoke one out of you as well, in an attempt to lighten up the situation.
What do you do in this case?
(a) Smile back. Lighten up, man.
(b) Shoot the whole thing down with a cold stare, and when the tool with a Cheshire smile is done talking, cap it off with a very unimpressed "and?".
If you chose (a), well done. Now put on your tutu. Your ballet teacher is waiting, you pussy.
(b) would put you in a far more dominant position in a stand-off.
A smile is a show of weakness. Be it in a restaurant with customer service so poor, they put the government departments to shame or a project group member who just can't be arsed, never let him/her feel you're soft and can be messed around with.
If there's something I can't stand, it's a smile in the midst of incompetence.
Last week, I was sat at a restaurant and waited 45 minutes for a take-away dinner. Patrons who came in 10 minutes later than me were already tucking in to their meal. The waiter then came up to me, not for the first time, and said it would be ready in 5 minutes (which you know will be way longer than that), with that fucking smile on his face.
So did I smile back? Did I balls! If you want to make me feel better, get me something to read or at least pour me a fucking glass of tea. What in Miranda Priestly's name am I supposed to do with your pathetic, insincere apology?
I had to watch people who came in way later than me gleefully helping themselves to that plate of sweet and sour pork, while I starve away and you expect me to make you feel better with a "no problem, champ" and send you back to your conversation with that cashier you're obviously hitting on?
Please, don't insult me by smiling when you're apologizing. Don't give me the remotest hint that you're happy about it. I would be more than happy to wipe it off your face. Unless you're bigger than I am, in which case, I'll be the bigger man and let you off.
Trust me, try it the next time. It's liberating. Really, think about it. You are gonna have a period of awkward silence where you'd be as cool as the Ice Queen (there's gotta be a more male-friendly simile) and another plank just stood there, smiling at you. That trick there really does their head in!
There, I've said it, being an uptight bastard makes me feel good. Now, get me my sandwich, you ho! And I'd better not see any saliva in there again!
Friday 23 November 2007
Friday 9 November 2007
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
Every man who has ever run a business ultimately has a wish and that is for his legacy to be able to be passed down to an heir of his own flesh and blood, and I suspect my father is no different, though to label his venture now an empire would be a bit of an exaggeration.
What he does actually is run a mobile phone/electronics retail chain, and I've been trying to keep it a secret from new found friends just to stop being bothered about discounts. However, since there are only a pathetic (the numbers, not the people!) handful who actually reads what I have to say here, I'll just keep it going for the sake of having a good rant.
My dad has always wanted me to be involved in his setup. Most of my cousins are already part of his workforce, regional leaders etc. During my high-school/early college days, he would get me to help out at one of his outlets throughout my holiday breaks.
After a couple of years, however, I realized that what I was doing was pointless, simply because the staff wouldn't order me around because I was my father's son! I could turn up late for work, laze around and get away with it. It just did not feel right.
Which is why, to get a better idea of what working actually means, I started looking for other jobs and what I gained from it vindicated my decision. From the roadshows and events I worked at, I was able to study the man-management that the event co-ordinators demonstrated, or lack thereof, and their ability to make split-second decisions when something goes wrong.
When I worked at the Levi Strauss head office as a temp last year, I was very impressed with the lady boss, the way she handled the staff, kept them focused and just the way she got things done. Very well run place, in my opinion. The way she lambasted one of her colleagues from another department over the phone for his incompetence sticks in mind. No quarters given, none asked.
She understood that I was new there, and so when I made mistakes, and I did make some pretty big ones, she wouldn't roast me and hang me out to dry. And even though I was unfamiliar with how things worked, she never doubted my ability to accomplish tasks. She would entrust me, a temp, with responsibilities, and that really made me feel like I was part of the team. You could see her leadership shine through.
These are small but handy lessons I wouldn't have garnered working at a mobile phone outlet in Low Yat Plaza!
I am not saying working for my father didn't help me at all because that would be a lie. I did learn a lot during my time there but there was only so much I could gain as a salesman, for want of a better word, before I felt there was so much more out there.
Thus, I was always the black sheep of the extended family. My cousins would always ask me why I did not want to help my father out with his business. They would tell me there is so much to learn from him, how he is a great mentor, and I do not doubt that. I just feel now is not the right time.
I sensed that I am always seen by them as a lucky and spoilt kid who would rather work for someone else for a higher salary than help his old man out and they are entitled to their opinion. I do not begrudge them for it because it does seem that way from a certain point of view.
Recently, my father decided to be a 018 partner since it's a newly launched mobile network from Mitv, and apparently, there is money to be had. However, because his company is already a Maxis partner, he couldn't take up the offer with his present company and so, he decided to set up a new one.
He asked me for my IC number to register the company and got me some registration forms to sign. At first, I thought I was supposed to be a sleeping partner of sorts, but as time progressed, it became clear to me what he was trying to do. He was trying to ease me into helping him out, or at least that is what I thought.
He would sometimes hint to me that I should help run the company during my free time, reminding me that the company is registered under my name. It looked very likely that he wanted me to become more hands-on with the establishment after my graduation.
Of course, all this might not be true. I might have been a little bit too sensitive. He came back today however, with a stack of name cards with my name printed on them. My title? Business development manager.
If it's true that he does intend for me to run the company, with his guidance of course, when I finish my studies next year, then I am sorry, I am really not interested. With all due respect, I did not toil through 3 years of engineering studies to run some mobile phone outlets.
Granted his business is growing, over 30 outlets nationwide is pretty impressive, and I am not saying the place is not big enough for me, neither am I saying he's not good enough. He has a lot of experience and would make a very fine boss, and I am not saying that because he's my father. Even his friends, who are also bosses in their own right, would tell me that he is a very intelligent businessman and well, they had no reason to lie.
However, what I really want is to become my own man.
What irked me was that he never consulted me about any of these things, the setting up of the company, if I wanted to help him out and all that. It's almost like he expects me to just get on with it. Why am I still doing my course then? I could have dropped out 4 years ago, grab one of the outlets to manage and be on my way. Or I would have done a business course instead, which would be the more appropriate route.
Truth is, I may not make it on my own when I graduate. There are no guarantees in life. Engineering may not work out for me. I would, however, like to at least give it a shot. It would certainly be more exciting, finding out if I have what it takes to make it at a big company than having my road mapped out like that.
I know that he won't force me to do anything but the way this has panned out is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Having a company registered under my name and being hinted that I should ditch all my ambitions to run it is a burden on my mind. He would certainly take this as a case of me not caring about the family, but it's something I can't really help.
What if, god forbid, his business doesn't work out? I would be in my mid 20's or early 30's and it would be difficult for me to get my career back on track. In time, regardless of how well the business is going, I would love to go back and work with my dad as a team. As the tone of this post suggests, however, now is definitely not the time.
I have seen a lot of friends and acquaintances start up their own business at their early 20's and a majority of them would fail or struggle badly, simply because they have neither the experience nor the bottle yet. They go up too fast, too soon. Way too immature and impatient.
Obviously, I would have my father's advice and he would be the real person running the show. I don't think he is daft enough to leave a company to the devices of his barely legal son. Still, let's be honest, nobody, and I mean nobody, not your partner, not your subordinate, is going to respect a 21 year old "manager".
At this point, I would have nothing to offer to the company. Just another smart ass who got there because daddy's the boss. I think it's pretty obvious I do not want to get up there this way. Also, again with all due respect, this isn't much of an "up there" now is it?
It would just be way too easy. I want a real challenge. I want to prove my mettle, test my limits, see what I can really reap with my own hands. I want to graduate, go out there, and conquer the damned ladder on my own. I have my own aspirations to fulfill, my goals to achieve, and if that means falling hard on my arse, then so be it. I truly believe I would come out of it a better man.
You call it naivety. I call it ambition.
What he does actually is run a mobile phone/electronics retail chain, and I've been trying to keep it a secret from new found friends just to stop being bothered about discounts. However, since there are only a pathetic (the numbers, not the people!) handful who actually reads what I have to say here, I'll just keep it going for the sake of having a good rant.
My dad has always wanted me to be involved in his setup. Most of my cousins are already part of his workforce, regional leaders etc. During my high-school/early college days, he would get me to help out at one of his outlets throughout my holiday breaks.
After a couple of years, however, I realized that what I was doing was pointless, simply because the staff wouldn't order me around because I was my father's son! I could turn up late for work, laze around and get away with it. It just did not feel right.
Which is why, to get a better idea of what working actually means, I started looking for other jobs and what I gained from it vindicated my decision. From the roadshows and events I worked at, I was able to study the man-management that the event co-ordinators demonstrated, or lack thereof, and their ability to make split-second decisions when something goes wrong.
When I worked at the Levi Strauss head office as a temp last year, I was very impressed with the lady boss, the way she handled the staff, kept them focused and just the way she got things done. Very well run place, in my opinion. The way she lambasted one of her colleagues from another department over the phone for his incompetence sticks in mind. No quarters given, none asked.
She understood that I was new there, and so when I made mistakes, and I did make some pretty big ones, she wouldn't roast me and hang me out to dry. And even though I was unfamiliar with how things worked, she never doubted my ability to accomplish tasks. She would entrust me, a temp, with responsibilities, and that really made me feel like I was part of the team. You could see her leadership shine through.
These are small but handy lessons I wouldn't have garnered working at a mobile phone outlet in Low Yat Plaza!
I am not saying working for my father didn't help me at all because that would be a lie. I did learn a lot during my time there but there was only so much I could gain as a salesman, for want of a better word, before I felt there was so much more out there.
Thus, I was always the black sheep of the extended family. My cousins would always ask me why I did not want to help my father out with his business. They would tell me there is so much to learn from him, how he is a great mentor, and I do not doubt that. I just feel now is not the right time.
I sensed that I am always seen by them as a lucky and spoilt kid who would rather work for someone else for a higher salary than help his old man out and they are entitled to their opinion. I do not begrudge them for it because it does seem that way from a certain point of view.
Recently, my father decided to be a 018 partner since it's a newly launched mobile network from Mitv, and apparently, there is money to be had. However, because his company is already a Maxis partner, he couldn't take up the offer with his present company and so, he decided to set up a new one.
He asked me for my IC number to register the company and got me some registration forms to sign. At first, I thought I was supposed to be a sleeping partner of sorts, but as time progressed, it became clear to me what he was trying to do. He was trying to ease me into helping him out, or at least that is what I thought.
He would sometimes hint to me that I should help run the company during my free time, reminding me that the company is registered under my name. It looked very likely that he wanted me to become more hands-on with the establishment after my graduation.
Of course, all this might not be true. I might have been a little bit too sensitive. He came back today however, with a stack of name cards with my name printed on them. My title? Business development manager.
If it's true that he does intend for me to run the company, with his guidance of course, when I finish my studies next year, then I am sorry, I am really not interested. With all due respect, I did not toil through 3 years of engineering studies to run some mobile phone outlets.
Granted his business is growing, over 30 outlets nationwide is pretty impressive, and I am not saying the place is not big enough for me, neither am I saying he's not good enough. He has a lot of experience and would make a very fine boss, and I am not saying that because he's my father. Even his friends, who are also bosses in their own right, would tell me that he is a very intelligent businessman and well, they had no reason to lie.
However, what I really want is to become my own man.
What irked me was that he never consulted me about any of these things, the setting up of the company, if I wanted to help him out and all that. It's almost like he expects me to just get on with it. Why am I still doing my course then? I could have dropped out 4 years ago, grab one of the outlets to manage and be on my way. Or I would have done a business course instead, which would be the more appropriate route.
Truth is, I may not make it on my own when I graduate. There are no guarantees in life. Engineering may not work out for me. I would, however, like to at least give it a shot. It would certainly be more exciting, finding out if I have what it takes to make it at a big company than having my road mapped out like that.
I know that he won't force me to do anything but the way this has panned out is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Having a company registered under my name and being hinted that I should ditch all my ambitions to run it is a burden on my mind. He would certainly take this as a case of me not caring about the family, but it's something I can't really help.
What if, god forbid, his business doesn't work out? I would be in my mid 20's or early 30's and it would be difficult for me to get my career back on track. In time, regardless of how well the business is going, I would love to go back and work with my dad as a team. As the tone of this post suggests, however, now is definitely not the time.
I have seen a lot of friends and acquaintances start up their own business at their early 20's and a majority of them would fail or struggle badly, simply because they have neither the experience nor the bottle yet. They go up too fast, too soon. Way too immature and impatient.
Obviously, I would have my father's advice and he would be the real person running the show. I don't think he is daft enough to leave a company to the devices of his barely legal son. Still, let's be honest, nobody, and I mean nobody, not your partner, not your subordinate, is going to respect a 21 year old "manager".
At this point, I would have nothing to offer to the company. Just another smart ass who got there because daddy's the boss. I think it's pretty obvious I do not want to get up there this way. Also, again with all due respect, this isn't much of an "up there" now is it?
It would just be way too easy. I want a real challenge. I want to prove my mettle, test my limits, see what I can really reap with my own hands. I want to graduate, go out there, and conquer the damned ladder on my own. I have my own aspirations to fulfill, my goals to achieve, and if that means falling hard on my arse, then so be it. I truly believe I would come out of it a better man.
You call it naivety. I call it ambition.
Thursday 1 November 2007
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