"Never say never"
One of the most used to death sayings I have ever heard yet it rings so true right now.
Back in May, when I submitted my examination answer sheet for the last time, I never thought I'd be going back to " Nottingham Semenyih" again. I never had an affinity to the place. I never had a sense of belonging. I couldn't wait to get out of there. I was offered a chance to do a PhD by my project supervisor. I entertained him for a bit then rejected the proposal politely. I was convinced I wasn't going to spend 3 years studying again after close to 14 years of academic nightmares. Especially not in Semenyih, the Hell on Earth if there ever was one.
So it makes perfect sense that in about a week from now, I'll be spending another 3 years of my miserable life there doing my PhD. Life just has a way of making you look stupid.
6 months ago, I was telling everyone and anyone who would listen that I was going to get a job, climb the ladder, go for an MBA, make it big, strike gold, hit a seven figure annual income, throw it all into a sure-fire investment plan, retire early, get an executive box at Old Trafford, and party until it's time to go.
The main problem with that plan was the first step, getting a job. Somehow, what should seem like a fairly painless process became very complicated. Partly because I had a look at the job market and I really didn't know what the heck I was going to do!
A look at some of the options:
Industrial Engineer, Applications Engineer, the general Mechanical Engineer etc; all either have job scopes of a glorified technician or involve procurement of materials which can get incredibly boring. That's the reality of being a mechanical engineering graduate in Malaysia. The glamorous machinery design jobs are close to non-existent here.
Investment banking is not my thing either, and the newspapers would have you believe that it's suicide to go into that line in the current economic climate. Sales and event management is definitely out of the question as well. I had an eye on management consultancy for a while but it's ridiculously difficult to get into and I have a hunch it isn't as glamorous as it's made out to be anyway.
I'm not thick. Of course, I realize that I'm way too picky for a fresh graduate, not a very stellar one at that. It's just that I became so confused as to what my path ahead should be. I was too afraid of taking the wrong step. I was petrified of becoming mediocre. More importantly, deep down, I know I just do not have an interest for the aforementioned professions.
It's arguable that I'm judging my interest on something I haven't even tried. Again, I was afraid of taking the plunge and then realizing it was a big waste of time. The ironic thing was, my indecision in itself became a huge time-waster.
And so, in the end, I decided to do a PhD. I'm not doing this without having put some thought into it though. I am aware that it's not a ticket to the big time. I know that I risk being overqualified when I go into the "real world". I know it can be a very frustrating and demanding course.
The ultimate factor that convinced me to go down this route was that of all the options that was laid out before me, this was the one that I truly felt I could "love", that would be worth investing my time on. To sensationalize it a little, it does offer an opportunity to make a meaningful contribution to the world, doesn't it? In 3.5 years, I could either be feeling miserable working a 9-to-5 job or I could be feeling miserable trying to make an important scientific discovery. Not saying that I would, just saying that I could.
And from then on? Well, I want to give management consulting a shot, assuming I am deemed worthy of joining the snobbish elites. Another option is to go into academia and continue any research work that was done during the PhD course. We'll see where this leads to. I'm definitely not ruling anything out though. The past 6 months have taught me better!
