It's Finally Happened..

.. and before this, I was convinced that it's what I've always wanted. It was supposed to be the best thing for the both of us.



I'm just really sorry I had to break her heart like that. It shattered me inside to see her crying like she did. As much as I wanted to hug her, tell her it's going to be alright and give us "one last chance", I just couldn't.



After all, if I wasn't that interested in her, I shouldn't be wasting her time. I haven't really been happy in this relationship for a long time. While of course, there were countless memorable moments that we shared, and that I will still cherish, at the back of my mind, I've always felt like it wouldn't last. Or so I believed.



While before this, I was quite clear about the reasons why the both of us won't work, right now, I won't be able to offer a single explanation if you asked. All the supposed reasons suddenly seem so trivial now.



It has been a really numb 2 days. What was supposed to be a relief for me is turning out to be the complete opposite: grief. How annoying. Something time will heal, I suppose. If that fails, I suppose a looming review paper deadline should be enough to keep my mind off matters.



Haha. Hah. Sigh...