"Does anyone ever feel good after a haircut?!"
And then, he'll scratch his head and stroke his beard, before replying:
"Yes, the salon owner"
I don't get it. I've been through this ordeal over and over again in my short 20 years of life. Each time, I'll step into the salon with a pretty clear idea of how I want my hair done and every time, without fail, I'll come out with something entirely different.
The problem lies, very clearly, with the hairstylist. Duh Sherlock, who else? Yeah, but hear me out.
I've come to notice that hairstylists deal with extremes. There just isn't an in-between. Take for instance, what happened today.
Lady Hairstylist : How would you like the sides? Shall we leave it long?
Me : Hmm, no. I want the ears to be seen but I don't want it too short.
Lady Hairstylist : Okay.
.... and she proceeds to cut it school-boy style!! You know, the one where they cut behind your ears and totally pulverize your sideburns, leaving you looking like an overgrown Form 5 student? Yeah, that one!
Why can't she just cut the damned thing "a little bit"? You know, short but not non-existent!
Another beef I have with these Chinese hairstylists is they just love those Dragonball-styled hair. You know the wild, tousled hair look, with ridiculously long sideburns and hair at the back? Yeah, that one.
I personally prefer the David Beckham-centric, westerners type. Clean at the sides and at the back, and a mohawk-ish spike at the top. The only place I could find that does it like this is, yes, in
I always make it a point to tell them that. But like I said, these guys deal with extremes, so what is the opposite of the Dragonball look? The nerdy schoolboy look, of course!
You know the worst part about the whole haircut process? The walk of shame back to your car. God loves taking the piss. I can never find a space near the salon. I am always forced to take a nice long walk back to the vehicle with a butt ugly look and having everyone stare and laugh uncontrollably inside.
To be honest though, and I know it's hard to believe after a rant like that, I am not too arsed about my hairstyle, really. I am not the type who spends half an hour in the bathroom trying to make sure that one strand of hair is standing at a correct angle. I just can't bear the thought of paying RM36 to look even worse than when i stepped in to the place!
It's quite a vicious cycle if you think about it. After a bad haircut, you pray for the thing to just grow quickly, and then it becomes too long and you have to get it trimmed again. Getting it right the next time is not an option either. It's an iterative process that never hits the spot.
Still, remember this the next time you get pissed off coming out of a salon:
A bad hair day is better than a no hair day.
Gimme Form 5 cuts over comb-overs any day!
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