Someone Shoot This Moron... and Britney Spears too. Thanks.

Mainstream hip hop annoys me these days. They all look the same, they rap about the same things and the beats sound the same.


None are more annoying though than this wannabe Soulja Boy, some dude who pronounces "watch" as "war". The fact that this lame song became a hit in the US charts makes me question the musical tastes of people these days.

Here's a clip of the song:





What are the strengths of hip hop? Well, anyone can rap to a good beat so it's definitely the lyrics. So there we go, the lyrics and the flow of the rap coupled with a cool beat is what makes a good hip hop song. Since this song made it to #1 on the billboard Hot 100, it's gotta have some of those right?


Well then, let us sample some of the gems and life lessons this song has to offer:


" Soulja boy off in this hoe
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank that soulja boy
Then super man that hoe...

I'm jocking on your bitch ass
And if we get the fighting
Then I'm cocking on your bitch ass

"

What beautiful poetry! Edgar Allan Poe has nothing on him. I mean rhyming "jocking on your bitch ass" with "cocking on your bitch ass"?! Wow, see what he did there? How the hell did he think of that? I mean just, that's just, just mind numbing!


Which builds up nicely to the 2008 Grammy nominees. How in Vanilla Ice's name did this turd get nominated for "Best Rap Song"? With one foul stroke, the Grammys have lost all their credibility in my eyes.


As a comparison, here's Common's "The People", which was nominated for "Best Rap Solo Performance" but not for the "Best Rap Song" category. It's a really good song, the least you can do is click play:






Of course, even with some really strong lyrics,a smooth flow and a very tight beat, it wasn't good enough to topple the other heavyweights. Heavyweights such as:

Ayo Technology by 50 Cent

and

Big Things Poppin' by T.I.



To put things in perspective, this verse from Common's "The People":

"
This is street ra-dio, for unsung heroes
Ridin in they regal, tryin to stay legal
My daughter found Nemo, I found the new primo
Yeah you know how we do, we do it for the people
And the struggles of the brothas and the folks
With lovers under dope, experiment to discover hopes
Scuffle for notes, the rougher I wrote, times were harder
Went from rocky starter to a voice of a martyr

"

is deemed not good enough to beat the might of

"
She fine as hell, she about the dough
She doing her thing out on the floor
Her money money, she makin' makin'
Look at the way she shakin' shakin'

"

and

"
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Now Lemme hear you say
Big shit popping, and little shit stopping [3x]
Ball on these niggas being broke is not an option

"


Well, there's justice for you.


It would have been forgivable if Hitz and Fly Fm didnt feed these lame songs to me everyday. I've to remind myself to get me an FM transmitter for the Nano.


To end this little outburst, here's an open letter to the talented and distinguished Soulja Boy which properly encapsulates my thoughts about him:



.
.
.
.

Dear Soulja Boy,


Die.



Love,
CM