My New Year's wish for 2008 is that Blogger can incorporate a chip into my brain so that I can publish new posts off the top of my head because it's getting really annoying. I know what I want to say, I have the basic idea of what is going to be said but I just cannot be arsed to sit down and type it out.
Yes, I am aware that should such a thing miraculously appear, there is going to be a huge risk of me publishing stuff that I don't want to be published. That would mean having to stay 100% focused while "mind-typing". Something I can never do.
Kinda like:
" Malaysians can be so inefficient. Why can't the cashier just hurry the fuck up? I mean, if I see one more incompetent fool manning the counter, I'll...... ooo, nice buns!... Err, I mean, erm, check out those, erm, pastries at the bakery, yeah, err, heh, hehe, at's right"
What the heck, let's just assume there is such a thing as "mind-posting". Looks like fun, I think I'll give it a go to see if such an invention can be put to practical use. I will now type off the top of my head, and it will be completely unedited. Hopefully, nothing will go wrong.
What Goes On In CM's Head During A Regular Post, Unedited:
New Year's resolutions. Forget the celebrity spout bullshit about there being no such things as New Year's resolutions. There is such a thing, I believe. Or at least I think so. Bah, regardless, here are my resolutions for the year 2008. Woohooo! I love 2008. Wait, Gah!
I, erm, I will try to be more punctual in 2008, in the new year. I......... Right now, the only... I...Damn it..... I ..... Okay, I got it.... erm... Right........Gah!!! Okay, steady... Clear, crisp, sentences.. Crisp sentences?! Mmmmmm.. crisps....
Darn it... Argh!! Okay, one more try, one more try....
Okay, I hate non-punctual people. I really do. I can't stand it when people set a time to meet up and then arrive 20 minutes late, especially if it's work-related. But, to lambast them for it would be hypocritical because I tend to be late myself. So there, I want to try to be early or on time in the near future, in the, next year, so I can finally be self-righteous, is that the right word? hmmm, bah, I say bah a lot in my head, funny, I never liked the usage of the word.
Okay, what I mean is I want to... I would like to.. I will, yeah, will's the word, be more punctual, repetitive, that's bad, you don't, you should never use the same word twice in a paragraph, basic writing mistake. Digressing.... say, digressing is such a, i mean digressing is getting, becoming the new "cool word" to use these days. It's like, I see it in everyone's blog these days.
It used to be "narcissistic" and before that "go figure" was all the rage. Oh well, note to self: do not use the word digress anymore. Okay, what was I saying? Right, erm, I want, I am going to be more punctual, is there such a thing? I think punctual alone will do. Yeah, I will be punctual for every meeting this year so I can finally have the ammunition to blast those who are not.
I did it ! Conveyed what I wanted to say with minimal fuss. Okay, looking back, maybe not. Should I edit it? It does look a little stupid. Very incoherent and lots of straying away from the main topic. Hmmm, very gramatically incorrect as well. And erm, yeah, only 1 resolution? The usual I guess, gain weight, study harder. Oh wait, that would be a half-year resolution since I graduate in June. Or was it May? Should be June, I guess. Hungry...
Yeah, erm, what other resolutions? Can't really think of any. Oh, the celebrations last night was pretty dull. Ended up in Bangsar with the girlfriend at the, this place, Lawn or something. They had fireworks right on top of our head. The morons! We ended up eating fireworks scraps, you know the leftovers, the erm, shit that comes down once the things explode in the air. Yeah, the girl was pretty hot thoooooohhh noo, you did not just say that out loud! Okay, moving on, moving on, moving on...
Hmm, ICE's coming up a few days after noise. Maybe I should study ICE for a couple of days and then do OD.. darn it, okay, focus. New Year's Resolutions. Yeah, honestly cant think of any. United, Cassian, random thoughts, lallaa, omg, hahah, I sound like maniac. And I typo a lot, I mean, I type a lot of wrong stuff, I mean, I am a bad typist, poor Backspace key, poor, poor.
Fuck, it's tiring to type everything you're thinking of when you're so bloody long-winded. I wonder if God has a log of everything we think of. My, that would be a bloody long list. Kinda like that file cabinet in Bruce Almighty. Good Movie. Hah, a black God! Haha! I mean, you racist. Why can't God be black? Shit. Gah!
United game tonight. Sigh. Birmingham is easy game though. Hopefully West Ham can do us a favour. But doubt it, small teams cant summon enough fight to beat 2 big teams in a row. So, can't see it happening. Oh well. Okay, studies, gotta continue studies..
Okay, gotta end this, I wonder if the neighbour's wi-fi is still on. Gonna hate it if I wanna post and the connection's lost. Haha, stealing wireless connection. Stupid router of mine kong already though. Sigh, gotta get a new one. Sien..
Sighh, back to studies, I guess. Exam's coming. And mind-posting doesn't work. Makes my posts look like Ama........ phew!!! Just about held it in! Thank God for that! Am.. A.. Gahhh!!! Stop thinking of that name!! Gahhh!!!!!!!!!!! Must post now before damage is done....
Oh, and Happy New Year, guys..
Monday, 31 December 2007
Thursday, 13 December 2007
Hypothetical Question of the Week
You are 40 years old and have worked very hard to reach where you are in life. For some reason unexplainable, you decided to liquidate all your assets and then proceed to withdraw your life savings, every single cent of it, from the bank.
Now you went to withdraw it with your mother, and just before she was able to step into the car, two robbers (or more, its pretty irrelevant) grab her, put a gun to her head and ask you to hand over everything.
Unbeknownst to them however, your mother has a fatal condition and would have died the following day anyway. Hey, I never said this was going to make any sense.
So the obvious question is would you choose to:
A) give them what they want so your mother can live another 15 odd hours
or
B) ignore them. Tough choice but you have half of your life more to go through and hey, it ain't cheap staying alive.
Answers in the comments section please.
Now you went to withdraw it with your mother, and just before she was able to step into the car, two robbers (or more, its pretty irrelevant) grab her, put a gun to her head and ask you to hand over everything.
Unbeknownst to them however, your mother has a fatal condition and would have died the following day anyway. Hey, I never said this was going to make any sense.
So the obvious question is would you choose to:
A) give them what they want so your mother can live another 15 odd hours
or
B) ignore them. Tough choice but you have half of your life more to go through and hey, it ain't cheap staying alive.
Answers in the comments section please.
Friday, 7 December 2007
Someone Shoot This Moron... and Britney Spears too. Thanks.
Mainstream hip hop annoys me these days. They all look the same, they rap about the same things and the beats sound the same.
None are more annoying though than this wannabe Soulja Boy, some dude who pronounces "watch" as "war". The fact that this lame song became a hit in the US charts makes me question the musical tastes of people these days.
Here's a clip of the song:
What are the strengths of hip hop? Well, anyone can rap to a good beat so it's definitely the lyrics. So there we go, the lyrics and the flow of the rap coupled with a cool beat is what makes a good hip hop song. Since this song made it to #1 on the billboard Hot 100, it's gotta have some of those right?
Well then, let us sample some of the gems and life lessons this song has to offer:
" Soulja boy off in this hoe
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank that soulja boy
Then super man that hoe...
I'm jocking on your bitch ass
And if we get the fighting
Then I'm cocking on your bitch ass
"
What beautiful poetry! Edgar Allan Poe has nothing on him. I mean rhyming "jocking on your bitch ass" with "cocking on your bitch ass"?! Wow, see what he did there? How the hell did he think of that? I mean just, that's just, just mind numbing!
Which builds up nicely to the 2008 Grammy nominees. How in Vanilla Ice's name did this turd get nominated for "Best Rap Song"? With one foul stroke, the Grammys have lost all their credibility in my eyes.
As a comparison, here's Common's "The People", which was nominated for "Best Rap Solo Performance" but not for the "Best Rap Song" category. It's a really good song, the least you can do is click play:
Of course, even with some really strong lyrics,a smooth flow and a very tight beat, it wasn't good enough to topple the other heavyweights. Heavyweights such as:
Ayo Technology by 50 Cent
and
Big Things Poppin' by T.I.
To put things in perspective, this verse from Common's "The People":
"
This is street ra-dio, for unsung heroes
Ridin in they regal, tryin to stay legal
My daughter found Nemo, I found the new primo
Yeah you know how we do, we do it for the people
And the struggles of the brothas and the folks
With lovers under dope, experiment to discover hopes
Scuffle for notes, the rougher I wrote, times were harder
Went from rocky starter to a voice of a martyr
"
is deemed not good enough to beat the might of
"
She fine as hell, she about the dough
She doing her thing out on the floor
Her money money, she makin' makin'
Look at the way she shakin' shakin'
"
and
"
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Now Lemme hear you say
Big shit popping, and little shit stopping [3x]
Ball on these niggas being broke is not an option
"
Well, there's justice for you.
It would have been forgivable if Hitz and Fly Fm didnt feed these lame songs to me everyday. I've to remind myself to get me an FM transmitter for the Nano.
To end this little outburst, here's an open letter to the talented and distinguished Soulja Boy which properly encapsulates my thoughts about him:
.
.
.
.
Dear Soulja Boy,
Die.
Love,
CM
None are more annoying though than this wannabe Soulja Boy, some dude who pronounces "watch" as "war". The fact that this lame song became a hit in the US charts makes me question the musical tastes of people these days.
Here's a clip of the song:
What are the strengths of hip hop? Well, anyone can rap to a good beat so it's definitely the lyrics. So there we go, the lyrics and the flow of the rap coupled with a cool beat is what makes a good hip hop song. Since this song made it to #1 on the billboard Hot 100, it's gotta have some of those right?
Well then, let us sample some of the gems and life lessons this song has to offer:
" Soulja boy off in this hoe
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank that soulja boy
Then super man that hoe...
I'm jocking on your bitch ass
And if we get the fighting
Then I'm cocking on your bitch ass
"
What beautiful poetry! Edgar Allan Poe has nothing on him. I mean rhyming "jocking on your bitch ass" with "cocking on your bitch ass"?! Wow, see what he did there? How the hell did he think of that? I mean just, that's just, just mind numbing!
Which builds up nicely to the 2008 Grammy nominees. How in Vanilla Ice's name did this turd get nominated for "Best Rap Song"? With one foul stroke, the Grammys have lost all their credibility in my eyes.
As a comparison, here's Common's "The People", which was nominated for "Best Rap Solo Performance" but not for the "Best Rap Song" category. It's a really good song, the least you can do is click play:
Of course, even with some really strong lyrics,a smooth flow and a very tight beat, it wasn't good enough to topple the other heavyweights. Heavyweights such as:
Ayo Technology by 50 Cent
and
Big Things Poppin' by T.I.
To put things in perspective, this verse from Common's "The People":
"
This is street ra-dio, for unsung heroes
Ridin in they regal, tryin to stay legal
My daughter found Nemo, I found the new primo
Yeah you know how we do, we do it for the people
And the struggles of the brothas and the folks
With lovers under dope, experiment to discover hopes
Scuffle for notes, the rougher I wrote, times were harder
Went from rocky starter to a voice of a martyr
"
is deemed not good enough to beat the might of
"
She fine as hell, she about the dough
She doing her thing out on the floor
Her money money, she makin' makin'
Look at the way she shakin' shakin'
"
and
"
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Now Lemme hear you say
Big shit popping, and little shit stopping [3x]
Ball on these niggas being broke is not an option
"
Well, there's justice for you.
It would have been forgivable if Hitz and Fly Fm didnt feed these lame songs to me everyday. I've to remind myself to get me an FM transmitter for the Nano.
To end this little outburst, here's an open letter to the talented and distinguished Soulja Boy which properly encapsulates my thoughts about him:
.
.
.
.
Dear Soulja Boy,
Die.
Love,
CM
Friday, 23 November 2007
The Mysteries of "Feel Good" factors
I am done being the nice, patient guy who's always willing to wait "5 more minutes" and give a friendly "it's okay" when someone apologizes for the 10th time.
The next time a person's actions, or lack of, annoys you and you go on to confront him/her, the likely scenario would unfold:
Knowing the mistake of his/her deeds, said offender would then proceed to explain the situation with a nervous smile thrown in. The smile is of course meant to provoke one out of you as well, in an attempt to lighten up the situation.
What do you do in this case?
(a) Smile back. Lighten up, man.
(b) Shoot the whole thing down with a cold stare, and when the tool with a Cheshire smile is done talking, cap it off with a very unimpressed "and?".
If you chose (a), well done. Now put on your tutu. Your ballet teacher is waiting, you pussy.
(b) would put you in a far more dominant position in a stand-off.
A smile is a show of weakness. Be it in a restaurant with customer service so poor, they put the government departments to shame or a project group member who just can't be arsed, never let him/her feel you're soft and can be messed around with.
If there's something I can't stand, it's a smile in the midst of incompetence.
Last week, I was sat at a restaurant and waited 45 minutes for a take-away dinner. Patrons who came in 10 minutes later than me were already tucking in to their meal. The waiter then came up to me, not for the first time, and said it would be ready in 5 minutes (which you know will be way longer than that), with that fucking smile on his face.
So did I smile back? Did I balls! If you want to make me feel better, get me something to read or at least pour me a fucking glass of tea. What in Miranda Priestly's name am I supposed to do with your pathetic, insincere apology?
I had to watch people who came in way later than me gleefully helping themselves to that plate of sweet and sour pork, while I starve away and you expect me to make you feel better with a "no problem, champ" and send you back to your conversation with that cashier you're obviously hitting on?
Please, don't insult me by smiling when you're apologizing. Don't give me the remotest hint that you're happy about it. I would be more than happy to wipe it off your face. Unless you're bigger than I am, in which case, I'll be the bigger man and let you off.
Trust me, try it the next time. It's liberating. Really, think about it. You are gonna have a period of awkward silence where you'd be as cool as the Ice Queen (there's gotta be a more male-friendly simile) and another plank just stood there, smiling at you. That trick there really does their head in!
There, I've said it, being an uptight bastard makes me feel good. Now, get me my sandwich, you ho! And I'd better not see any saliva in there again!
The next time a person's actions, or lack of, annoys you and you go on to confront him/her, the likely scenario would unfold:
Knowing the mistake of his/her deeds, said offender would then proceed to explain the situation with a nervous smile thrown in. The smile is of course meant to provoke one out of you as well, in an attempt to lighten up the situation.
What do you do in this case?
(a) Smile back. Lighten up, man.
(b) Shoot the whole thing down with a cold stare, and when the tool with a Cheshire smile is done talking, cap it off with a very unimpressed "and?".
If you chose (a), well done. Now put on your tutu. Your ballet teacher is waiting, you pussy.
(b) would put you in a far more dominant position in a stand-off.
A smile is a show of weakness. Be it in a restaurant with customer service so poor, they put the government departments to shame or a project group member who just can't be arsed, never let him/her feel you're soft and can be messed around with.
If there's something I can't stand, it's a smile in the midst of incompetence.
Last week, I was sat at a restaurant and waited 45 minutes for a take-away dinner. Patrons who came in 10 minutes later than me were already tucking in to their meal. The waiter then came up to me, not for the first time, and said it would be ready in 5 minutes (which you know will be way longer than that), with that fucking smile on his face.
So did I smile back? Did I balls! If you want to make me feel better, get me something to read or at least pour me a fucking glass of tea. What in Miranda Priestly's name am I supposed to do with your pathetic, insincere apology?
I had to watch people who came in way later than me gleefully helping themselves to that plate of sweet and sour pork, while I starve away and you expect me to make you feel better with a "no problem, champ" and send you back to your conversation with that cashier you're obviously hitting on?
Please, don't insult me by smiling when you're apologizing. Don't give me the remotest hint that you're happy about it. I would be more than happy to wipe it off your face. Unless you're bigger than I am, in which case, I'll be the bigger man and let you off.
Trust me, try it the next time. It's liberating. Really, think about it. You are gonna have a period of awkward silence where you'd be as cool as the Ice Queen (there's gotta be a more male-friendly simile) and another plank just stood there, smiling at you. That trick there really does their head in!
There, I've said it, being an uptight bastard makes me feel good. Now, get me my sandwich, you ho! And I'd better not see any saliva in there again!
Friday, 9 November 2007
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
Every man who has ever run a business ultimately has a wish and that is for his legacy to be able to be passed down to an heir of his own flesh and blood, and I suspect my father is no different, though to label his venture now an empire would be a bit of an exaggeration.
What he does actually is run a mobile phone/electronics retail chain, and I've been trying to keep it a secret from new found friends just to stop being bothered about discounts. However, since there are only a pathetic (the numbers, not the people!) handful who actually reads what I have to say here, I'll just keep it going for the sake of having a good rant.
My dad has always wanted me to be involved in his setup. Most of my cousins are already part of his workforce, regional leaders etc. During my high-school/early college days, he would get me to help out at one of his outlets throughout my holiday breaks.
After a couple of years, however, I realized that what I was doing was pointless, simply because the staff wouldn't order me around because I was my father's son! I could turn up late for work, laze around and get away with it. It just did not feel right.
Which is why, to get a better idea of what working actually means, I started looking for other jobs and what I gained from it vindicated my decision. From the roadshows and events I worked at, I was able to study the man-management that the event co-ordinators demonstrated, or lack thereof, and their ability to make split-second decisions when something goes wrong.
When I worked at the Levi Strauss head office as a temp last year, I was very impressed with the lady boss, the way she handled the staff, kept them focused and just the way she got things done. Very well run place, in my opinion. The way she lambasted one of her colleagues from another department over the phone for his incompetence sticks in mind. No quarters given, none asked.
She understood that I was new there, and so when I made mistakes, and I did make some pretty big ones, she wouldn't roast me and hang me out to dry. And even though I was unfamiliar with how things worked, she never doubted my ability to accomplish tasks. She would entrust me, a temp, with responsibilities, and that really made me feel like I was part of the team. You could see her leadership shine through.
These are small but handy lessons I wouldn't have garnered working at a mobile phone outlet in Low Yat Plaza!
I am not saying working for my father didn't help me at all because that would be a lie. I did learn a lot during my time there but there was only so much I could gain as a salesman, for want of a better word, before I felt there was so much more out there.
Thus, I was always the black sheep of the extended family. My cousins would always ask me why I did not want to help my father out with his business. They would tell me there is so much to learn from him, how he is a great mentor, and I do not doubt that. I just feel now is not the right time.
I sensed that I am always seen by them as a lucky and spoilt kid who would rather work for someone else for a higher salary than help his old man out and they are entitled to their opinion. I do not begrudge them for it because it does seem that way from a certain point of view.
Recently, my father decided to be a 018 partner since it's a newly launched mobile network from Mitv, and apparently, there is money to be had. However, because his company is already a Maxis partner, he couldn't take up the offer with his present company and so, he decided to set up a new one.
He asked me for my IC number to register the company and got me some registration forms to sign. At first, I thought I was supposed to be a sleeping partner of sorts, but as time progressed, it became clear to me what he was trying to do. He was trying to ease me into helping him out, or at least that is what I thought.
He would sometimes hint to me that I should help run the company during my free time, reminding me that the company is registered under my name. It looked very likely that he wanted me to become more hands-on with the establishment after my graduation.
Of course, all this might not be true. I might have been a little bit too sensitive. He came back today however, with a stack of name cards with my name printed on them. My title? Business development manager.
If it's true that he does intend for me to run the company, with his guidance of course, when I finish my studies next year, then I am sorry, I am really not interested. With all due respect, I did not toil through 3 years of engineering studies to run some mobile phone outlets.
Granted his business is growing, over 30 outlets nationwide is pretty impressive, and I am not saying the place is not big enough for me, neither am I saying he's not good enough. He has a lot of experience and would make a very fine boss, and I am not saying that because he's my father. Even his friends, who are also bosses in their own right, would tell me that he is a very intelligent businessman and well, they had no reason to lie.
However, what I really want is to become my own man.
What irked me was that he never consulted me about any of these things, the setting up of the company, if I wanted to help him out and all that. It's almost like he expects me to just get on with it. Why am I still doing my course then? I could have dropped out 4 years ago, grab one of the outlets to manage and be on my way. Or I would have done a business course instead, which would be the more appropriate route.
Truth is, I may not make it on my own when I graduate. There are no guarantees in life. Engineering may not work out for me. I would, however, like to at least give it a shot. It would certainly be more exciting, finding out if I have what it takes to make it at a big company than having my road mapped out like that.
I know that he won't force me to do anything but the way this has panned out is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Having a company registered under my name and being hinted that I should ditch all my ambitions to run it is a burden on my mind. He would certainly take this as a case of me not caring about the family, but it's something I can't really help.
What if, god forbid, his business doesn't work out? I would be in my mid 20's or early 30's and it would be difficult for me to get my career back on track. In time, regardless of how well the business is going, I would love to go back and work with my dad as a team. As the tone of this post suggests, however, now is definitely not the time.
I have seen a lot of friends and acquaintances start up their own business at their early 20's and a majority of them would fail or struggle badly, simply because they have neither the experience nor the bottle yet. They go up too fast, too soon. Way too immature and impatient.
Obviously, I would have my father's advice and he would be the real person running the show. I don't think he is daft enough to leave a company to the devices of his barely legal son. Still, let's be honest, nobody, and I mean nobody, not your partner, not your subordinate, is going to respect a 21 year old "manager".
At this point, I would have nothing to offer to the company. Just another smart ass who got there because daddy's the boss. I think it's pretty obvious I do not want to get up there this way. Also, again with all due respect, this isn't much of an "up there" now is it?
It would just be way too easy. I want a real challenge. I want to prove my mettle, test my limits, see what I can really reap with my own hands. I want to graduate, go out there, and conquer the damned ladder on my own. I have my own aspirations to fulfill, my goals to achieve, and if that means falling hard on my arse, then so be it. I truly believe I would come out of it a better man.
You call it naivety. I call it ambition.
What he does actually is run a mobile phone/electronics retail chain, and I've been trying to keep it a secret from new found friends just to stop being bothered about discounts. However, since there are only a pathetic (the numbers, not the people!) handful who actually reads what I have to say here, I'll just keep it going for the sake of having a good rant.
My dad has always wanted me to be involved in his setup. Most of my cousins are already part of his workforce, regional leaders etc. During my high-school/early college days, he would get me to help out at one of his outlets throughout my holiday breaks.
After a couple of years, however, I realized that what I was doing was pointless, simply because the staff wouldn't order me around because I was my father's son! I could turn up late for work, laze around and get away with it. It just did not feel right.
Which is why, to get a better idea of what working actually means, I started looking for other jobs and what I gained from it vindicated my decision. From the roadshows and events I worked at, I was able to study the man-management that the event co-ordinators demonstrated, or lack thereof, and their ability to make split-second decisions when something goes wrong.
When I worked at the Levi Strauss head office as a temp last year, I was very impressed with the lady boss, the way she handled the staff, kept them focused and just the way she got things done. Very well run place, in my opinion. The way she lambasted one of her colleagues from another department over the phone for his incompetence sticks in mind. No quarters given, none asked.
She understood that I was new there, and so when I made mistakes, and I did make some pretty big ones, she wouldn't roast me and hang me out to dry. And even though I was unfamiliar with how things worked, she never doubted my ability to accomplish tasks. She would entrust me, a temp, with responsibilities, and that really made me feel like I was part of the team. You could see her leadership shine through.
These are small but handy lessons I wouldn't have garnered working at a mobile phone outlet in Low Yat Plaza!
I am not saying working for my father didn't help me at all because that would be a lie. I did learn a lot during my time there but there was only so much I could gain as a salesman, for want of a better word, before I felt there was so much more out there.
Thus, I was always the black sheep of the extended family. My cousins would always ask me why I did not want to help my father out with his business. They would tell me there is so much to learn from him, how he is a great mentor, and I do not doubt that. I just feel now is not the right time.
I sensed that I am always seen by them as a lucky and spoilt kid who would rather work for someone else for a higher salary than help his old man out and they are entitled to their opinion. I do not begrudge them for it because it does seem that way from a certain point of view.
Recently, my father decided to be a 018 partner since it's a newly launched mobile network from Mitv, and apparently, there is money to be had. However, because his company is already a Maxis partner, he couldn't take up the offer with his present company and so, he decided to set up a new one.
He asked me for my IC number to register the company and got me some registration forms to sign. At first, I thought I was supposed to be a sleeping partner of sorts, but as time progressed, it became clear to me what he was trying to do. He was trying to ease me into helping him out, or at least that is what I thought.
He would sometimes hint to me that I should help run the company during my free time, reminding me that the company is registered under my name. It looked very likely that he wanted me to become more hands-on with the establishment after my graduation.
Of course, all this might not be true. I might have been a little bit too sensitive. He came back today however, with a stack of name cards with my name printed on them. My title? Business development manager.
If it's true that he does intend for me to run the company, with his guidance of course, when I finish my studies next year, then I am sorry, I am really not interested. With all due respect, I did not toil through 3 years of engineering studies to run some mobile phone outlets.
Granted his business is growing, over 30 outlets nationwide is pretty impressive, and I am not saying the place is not big enough for me, neither am I saying he's not good enough. He has a lot of experience and would make a very fine boss, and I am not saying that because he's my father. Even his friends, who are also bosses in their own right, would tell me that he is a very intelligent businessman and well, they had no reason to lie.
However, what I really want is to become my own man.
What irked me was that he never consulted me about any of these things, the setting up of the company, if I wanted to help him out and all that. It's almost like he expects me to just get on with it. Why am I still doing my course then? I could have dropped out 4 years ago, grab one of the outlets to manage and be on my way. Or I would have done a business course instead, which would be the more appropriate route.
Truth is, I may not make it on my own when I graduate. There are no guarantees in life. Engineering may not work out for me. I would, however, like to at least give it a shot. It would certainly be more exciting, finding out if I have what it takes to make it at a big company than having my road mapped out like that.
I know that he won't force me to do anything but the way this has panned out is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Having a company registered under my name and being hinted that I should ditch all my ambitions to run it is a burden on my mind. He would certainly take this as a case of me not caring about the family, but it's something I can't really help.
What if, god forbid, his business doesn't work out? I would be in my mid 20's or early 30's and it would be difficult for me to get my career back on track. In time, regardless of how well the business is going, I would love to go back and work with my dad as a team. As the tone of this post suggests, however, now is definitely not the time.
I have seen a lot of friends and acquaintances start up their own business at their early 20's and a majority of them would fail or struggle badly, simply because they have neither the experience nor the bottle yet. They go up too fast, too soon. Way too immature and impatient.
Obviously, I would have my father's advice and he would be the real person running the show. I don't think he is daft enough to leave a company to the devices of his barely legal son. Still, let's be honest, nobody, and I mean nobody, not your partner, not your subordinate, is going to respect a 21 year old "manager".
At this point, I would have nothing to offer to the company. Just another smart ass who got there because daddy's the boss. I think it's pretty obvious I do not want to get up there this way. Also, again with all due respect, this isn't much of an "up there" now is it?
It would just be way too easy. I want a real challenge. I want to prove my mettle, test my limits, see what I can really reap with my own hands. I want to graduate, go out there, and conquer the damned ladder on my own. I have my own aspirations to fulfill, my goals to achieve, and if that means falling hard on my arse, then so be it. I truly believe I would come out of it a better man.
You call it naivety. I call it ambition.
Thursday, 1 November 2007
Monday, 29 October 2007
Leave Me Alone!!!
You went out with this girl and you had a great time. The conversations were flowing and there were laughters all round. You find yourself really clicking with her, she's funny and not bad in the looks department too.
You start to have a crush on her, so you gathered the courage to ask her out and she reciprocated. You're the happiest person on the planet. There is a sudden surge of joy and delectation.
You did couples stuff together, no, not that kind, the innocent but fun bits like watching a movie and holding hands. She's everything you'd hoped for in a girlfriend. Nothing could possibly go wrong...
...until suddenly....
.
.
.
.
.
.
You wake up!!
!@#!@$!@$!111123124
That's when the big reality train hits you. You're still you, that relationship was non-existent but sweet Jesus, the crush and the happy memories are still there! Cue the frantic struggle to not slip into full consciousness just yet as you try to force yourself back to sleep. Often it works, but when it doesn't, my, you really do feel like you got dumped in real life.
It happened to me twice in a week and really, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. That "fucking hell, it was all a dream?!" feeling is akin to winning a lottery ticket only to find out that it was all just a sick prank from your family. Search that one up on youtube by the way, funny shit right there.
The trouble is, both of the girls are people I know in real life, no, I am not saying who because quite frankly, if someone dreamt that they were together with me, I'd freak out big time.
So what's the problem? Well, because I had a crush on them in my dreams, it kind of transferred into real life! So yes, I had a mini crush on these two real life girls (and am still having one now, in fact!) because of their actions in my dreams. I was like, fucking get off me!
Okay for the sake of progressing this story, one of them is an ex-girlfriend and one is a pretty close friend. What that means is, for the first few days of last week, I kinda had feelings for my ex all over again and a few days later, had a crush on one of my platonic friends! Where's the straitjacket?!
I can't even look at these two girls the same way anymore because I keep thinking about the stupid dreams! Can you believe how ridiculous this sounds?
Is there such thing as a Dream God because if there is, may his arse be infested by a thousand desert fleas and may his arms grow too short to scratch them!
Right now, I am just trying to wait for the second crush to wear off kinda like how the first one did but God damn it, it was so good while it lasted. Can you imagine how weird this is? Ahh, how I miss the non-existent good old days. Damn, I really loved those imaginary happy times..
Oh dream girl, I hardly knew ye..
P/S: this doesn't count as cheating on my girlfriend as it's not as if I had any real say over this.
You start to have a crush on her, so you gathered the courage to ask her out and she reciprocated. You're the happiest person on the planet. There is a sudden surge of joy and delectation.
You did couples stuff together, no, not that kind, the innocent but fun bits like watching a movie and holding hands. She's everything you'd hoped for in a girlfriend. Nothing could possibly go wrong...
...until suddenly....
.
.
.
.
.
.
You wake up!!
!@#!@$!@$!111123124
That's when the big reality train hits you. You're still you, that relationship was non-existent but sweet Jesus, the crush and the happy memories are still there! Cue the frantic struggle to not slip into full consciousness just yet as you try to force yourself back to sleep. Often it works, but when it doesn't, my, you really do feel like you got dumped in real life.
It happened to me twice in a week and really, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. That "fucking hell, it was all a dream?!" feeling is akin to winning a lottery ticket only to find out that it was all just a sick prank from your family. Search that one up on youtube by the way, funny shit right there.
The trouble is, both of the girls are people I know in real life, no, I am not saying who because quite frankly, if someone dreamt that they were together with me, I'd freak out big time.
So what's the problem? Well, because I had a crush on them in my dreams, it kind of transferred into real life! So yes, I had a mini crush on these two real life girls (and am still having one now, in fact!) because of their actions in my dreams. I was like, fucking get off me!
Okay for the sake of progressing this story, one of them is an ex-girlfriend and one is a pretty close friend. What that means is, for the first few days of last week, I kinda had feelings for my ex all over again and a few days later, had a crush on one of my platonic friends! Where's the straitjacket?!
I can't even look at these two girls the same way anymore because I keep thinking about the stupid dreams! Can you believe how ridiculous this sounds?
Is there such thing as a Dream God because if there is, may his arse be infested by a thousand desert fleas and may his arms grow too short to scratch them!
Right now, I am just trying to wait for the second crush to wear off kinda like how the first one did but God damn it, it was so good while it lasted. Can you imagine how weird this is? Ahh, how I miss the non-existent good old days. Damn, I really loved those imaginary happy times..
Oh dream girl, I hardly knew ye..
P/S: this doesn't count as cheating on my girlfriend as it's not as if I had any real say over this.
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