CM's Rants

The Black Swan

2012-02-02T10:28:00.001-08:00

I had a relatively casual chat with a friend today about Christianity's view on homosexuality. As I was more keen on trying to understand their mindset on the issue and stimulate a discussion, I refrained from winding him up just for the sake of a wind-up. Okay, maybe I did just a little. And only because some of the statements made were begging for it.

The central premise for Christianity's negative stance towards homosexuality, besides the Bible saying it's wrong, is basically this:

"Homosexuality is strictly a choice and not a congenital condition"

That is the crucial argument because from a Christianity standpoint, if (1) all living beings are created by God, and, (2) some people are born homosexuals, we can reasonably argue that God condones homosexuality. Assuming he’s a benevolent God of course; it’s equally likely that he just likes to take the piss. There's of course a slight problem in that the Bible explicitly says that homosexuality is wrong. You can then see why Christians, instead of possibly having to deal with this perplexing contradiction, would rather stick their fingers into their ears and scream "lalalalala" in the face of any potential evidence that is contrary to their viewpoint.

Based on this then, I asked him whether he thought a person can actively choose to be gay, and whether homosexuals can be "rehabilitated", to which he said yes. It still sounded fairly reasonable until he brought up how he thought homosexuals become what they are. Most homosexuals were victims of child sexual abuse, apparently.

*Struggles badly at holding back a priest/small boy joke*

I pressed him for the exact statistic. Is “most” 75%, 50%, 35%? About 40% was his estimate (A quick Google search later revealed it to be 38%). Well, what about the other 60% then, I asked him. No coherent reply was forthcoming. In any case, it was irrelevant. Correlation does not equate to causation. If they really wanted to prove that child sexual abuse is a factor in sexual orientation, they should flip the parameters. The number of child sexual abuse victims who go on to become homosexuals should be the supporting statistic.

My personal opinion is that since there isn’t conclusive proof (I may be wrong) on whether homosexuality is or isn’t a choice, an open mind should be kept regarding the matter. Adopting a homophobic stance because a book told you to is not just ignorant; it’s lazy. I then tried a different approach: “What if there is conclusive scientific evidence that homosexuality can be a congenital condition? Would that help change your mind?” There was a sudden pause followed by an emphatic no.

The reason given was hilariously flimsy, though. He would have been better off just falling back on the Bible excuse. ”Unless you surveyed all 7 billion of the world’s population and found that all homosexuals are born that way, the study is unreliable.” Hearing that actually made me go:

I don’t need to gather all the black swans in the world to disprove “all swans are white”; I need just one! Similarly, a study just needs to reliably prove that one (or several, just for the sake of repeatability) homosexual is born with a particular sexual orientation to disprove “homosexuality is a choice”. That he can’t see the logic despite being a scientist dumbfounded me a little. You know, I would have thought that being a student of science, you would be more accepting of new theories.

This anecdote kind of sums up my beef with religion besides the money-making part (have you seen their accounts?). As a device to draw strength, comfort and inspiration from, it’s great. Even the back and forth arguments about the origins of the universe are largely inconsequential. The problem arises when it’s used to spread backward and potentially poisonous ideas such as the forbiddance of contraceptives like condoms and birth control pills (a whole other post which I won’t go into detail).

Most religions preach faith so strongly that followers just surrender all their opinions and trust the teachings of a book to the letter; a book that has been doctored by men heavily over the years to suit their own personal agenda no less. I might empathise with the average person but I would expect more from a man of science than to relinquish all thoughts of inquisition. Is religion to blame for my friend’s poor reasoning skills? No, but since his opinion on the matter was already cemented from the brainwashing of religion, he’ll fight tooth and nail to defend his opinion and stoop to brittle logic in desperation.

“What if the Bible is wrong?” I asked my friend midway through our small debate. “It’s never wrong,” came the confident reply.

Galileo wept.

How to successfully stop hiccups immediately

2012-01-11T11:53:00.001-08:00

New year, new blog layout! I grew incredibly bored of the plain orange/yellow design of the previous theme and so, decided to switch to another generic Google template. Yeah, I know, 10 points for originality. I also picked a pretentious bookshelf background that will hopefully scream ,”Oooh, look at me, I read a lot.” (hint: I don’t. Not a lot, anyway)

So a new blog layout deserves a cracking 5 star post to kick things off and you should probably be able to tell from the title that, yes, I will be divulging my personal secret to successfully and consistently beat the hiccups! That’s right, no more dicking around with ineffective ways to stop your chest from painfully jerking every five seconds! I know, I know what you’re thinking: “Everybody claims to have a sure-fire hiccup-slaying method but it never works, asshole.”

You: “Really? Tell me more.”

Hear me out, though. This isn’t a lame “hold your breath for 10 seconds while trying to burp” or “drink lots and lots of water” rubbish. My method of dealing with hiccups has a more elegant touch and a steeper learning curve, yet is obvious once you master it. Being a scientist, I realize the need for validation and so, I’ve tried this every time the hiccups come about. From roughly 7-10 tries, I’ve had a 100% success rate, which is something I haven’t had from previous housewife remedies. So what is this miracle cure? Put simply, you trick your brain into stopping the hiccups. You will your body into stopping the spasms. Kinda like a Jedi mind trick.

Again, I know it sounds crazy, but there is a method to this madness.

”Okay,whatever you say, bro.”

Before I tell you the exact steps, there is a need to understand how this works. I don’t have a reliable scientific source and apparently from Wikipedia, the exact hiccup mechanism hasn’t been fully elucidated. From what I gather and understand though, the hiccup is a sort of reflex action triggered by the subconscious. There’s nothing that will specifically trigger a hiccup; it just happens, well, because. So I hypothesized that if it’s a reflex action triggered solely by the brain and has no underlying cause like, say, a viral infection, then technically, you should be able to stop it just by using your mind.

As many already know, all the housewife remedies like holding your breath while standing on one foot or getting someone to scare you are just ways to draw attention away from the actual action of “hiccup-ing”. The reason why it doesn’t work all the time for everyone would be because, one might assume, the subject is still subconsciously focused on the hiccups, or rather, not focused enough on the “remedy” to “forget” about the hiccups.

My remedy builds on this principle but does away with all the needless (frankly though, they’re amusing to watch) physical actions. Instead, all you need to do is convince your subconscious that you are not, in fact, suffering from hiccups. The following are the recommended steps towards accomplishing this:

1) I find that this works best if you’re in a low-noise environment, so get away from a crowd or tune out if you can. Sit down if possible and try to relax.

2) Now it’s time to close your eyes and let your imaginations run; this is a mind trick after all.

There is probably something you’ve been doing right before the hiccups started, like say, driving, talking to a friend, making coffee, or reading. Of course, while you were performing that task, the hiccups weren’t there. You were naturally feeling very comfortable then.

Now you need to picture yourself doing that task; in fact, not just picture but believe you are actually doing it at the present moment and totally immerse yourself into the scenario, complete with the hiccup-free state. While you’re doing this, an occasional hiccup might still come up, but you need to completely ignore it and not let it distract you from your mental task. While in this state, take long deep breaths while "believing" that there won't be any hiccups forthcoming (I know, it does sound nuts!).

3) If you have done step (2) correctly and long enough, you should be noticing that your hiccups have either slowed down or stopped completely. Step (3) is what I call, the sealing stage; it’s the part where you cap off your mind trick with a little reverse psychology. The icing on the cake, if you will.

Before I tell you what step (3) is, I would assume you’re reading this while not suffering from any form of hiccups. Alright, now I want you to will yourself into doing a hiccup using your mind alone. It’s pretty impossible, right? That’s precisely what step (3) is: daring your mind into doing a hiccup. You need to remember how impossible it is to do this if you don’t actually have hiccups. This will work beautifully if you’ve done step (2) right and utterly believe that you’re hiccup-free.

And that’s it! You’re officially hiccup-free! The description of my remedy is obviously a bit convoluted compared to “hold your breath while drinking” because it’s an explanation for first-timers and also because the understanding of how this works is crucial towards the probability of success. Once you’ve mastered it (usually only takes one or two tries), you won’t even have to make an effort the next time there is a hiccup attack. You’ll just completely suppress it within 5 seconds.

You; when you try this and realize how well it works.

P/S: If this doesn’t work for you no matter how hard you try, it means you have the imagination of a doorknob.

P/P/S: Man, I love this new blog layout.

Head blown moment

2011-10-09T03:33:00.001-07:00

“If you’re not paying for a service, you’re not the customer; you’re the product being sold”

I love the internet

2011-08-08T09:21:00.001-07:00

Our family got Unifi a couple of months ago and just like with all the other internet service providers before this, the modem had to be placed at the corner of the house which was where the home office was because the desktop was in there. As a result, the Wi-Fi network coverage didn’t quite reach all four corners of the house.

This is fine for me because my room’s directly a floor above the home office but beyond the dining hall and my brother’s room, the house gets zero coverage! This of course will not do for my dad since he has an iPad and he can’t surf in the living room. Him being the man of the house (until I move out to my own place *shakes fist*) means that I have to settle this problem for him.

I thought, won’t it be great if there’s a device that extends the wireless range of your network? I’m not the geekiest of tech geeks so I wasn’t sure. Here’s where I start to really be appreciative of the internet and the ease of information sharing. 5 minutes on Google and I knew exactly what I was supposed to look for: a wireless range extender (of course), the normal price range and the most value-for-money brand.

So I bought what I needed and brought it home. Then I realized I didn’t know how to set up the damned thing. All the stuff about static IPs and default gateways might as well have been Arabic to me. Not to worry, fired up the laptop, typed the appropriate keywords into Google and BAM! detailed instructions from a Forum Lowyat thread from someone who had the same problem.

All these would not have been possible even a decade ago. I would have struggled with the manual for the entire night and called my techie friends the next morning. These days, with the proliferation of internet forums and the increase in volume of tech-tards on the internet asking for advice, you can be almost certain that if you have a problem, somebody has already asked about it first on the internet. Obviously, this is not applicable for all cases, especially not to the first person who asked it on the internet obviously, but in 95% of the cases, just look it up on Google!

It really bears repeating: I fucking love the internet!

On sharpening my knowledge of Malaysian football

2011-07-29T03:57:00.000-07:00

Coming back from my first official Malaysia game yesterday (friendlies against English clubs don't count) has made me feel even more detached from English club football. There was just this attachment to the side, not to mention the feeling of watching stadium football, that you just don't get from watching the English clubs on TV.

I mean, I think back to the time I watched the United-Milan game at Old Trafford and wonder if I can feel the same passion again like I did before. The allegiance was phony. I mean, I'd probably still root for the team but I don't think I can stand up and sing and chant for them like I did before without feeling embarrassed.

It's funny, though, how I can probably tell you exactly what is wrong with the English national team, who should be drafted in or out, who's been underperforming, but I can't do the same for the Malaysian team. So I thought back to how I amassed my knowledge of English football in the first place and try to do the same for Malaysian football.

At first, I thought that the best way to know more about Malaysian football was to watch it on TV (or at a stadium). I mean, that seemed like the logical method. You watch the players play, you sift the bad from the good and you remember the names.

Then I realized that wasn't how I knew so much about the Premier League. I mean, I watched the United games and the occasional Premier League/Champions' League matches of some rivals but that was about it.

So then it had to be down to dedicated football news sites with editorials a la Football365/Soccernet. You get to read match reports and there'd be editorials commenting about the state of this club etc. However, I don't seem to be able to find a Malaysian equivalent. A few months into a season with a site like this and I think I can easily get up to speed with the who's who of Malaysian football.

Also, a forum would be very handy to read up on the fans' views. We already have Forum Lowyat for that so it's not too much of a problem. It's just that I've no freaking idea what they're talking about. I mean, they were talking about who was left out by Rajagobal and who should have played in place of whom, who was blazing in the local leagues and should have been included. Y'know, the kinda things that I can do too......... for the English national team!

Oh well, hopefully I can pay more attention to the local leagues and maybe, just maybe, watch my first Selangor match some time next season. Oh, did you know that Selangor is the most decorated club in Malaysian football? I know right, how bloody convenient.

Switching allegiances from one football giant to another.

Inspiring.

2011-05-23T10:50:00.001-07:00

There’s nothing more beautiful than a well-written chest-thumping pep speech such as the infamous “I have a dream” by Martin Luther King Jr. and “We shall fight on the beaches” by Churchill. I’ve only recently come across this one even though I’ve seen it in in parts but never in its complete form. Yes, I’m probably a spaz for not having seen this one before.

Anyway, an excerpt from Roosevelt’s “Citizenship in a Republic”:

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Apparently, it has appeared before in another guise as follows:

"Criticism is necessary and useful; it is often indispensable; but it can never take the place of action, or be even a poor substitute for it. The function of the mere critic is of very subordinate usefulness. It is the doer of deeds who actually counts in the battle for life, and not the man who looks on and says how the fight ought to be fought, without himself sharing the stress and the danger."

Basically the 1900s version of “Fuck off, haters!”

This new recent dose..

2011-05-19T11:15:00.001-07:00

.. of pop-economics literature has really made me wish I’d done economics as my bachelor degree. It just feels right for me, and something I found myself to have a keen interest in. Looking at my bookshelf now, you’d be forgiven for thinking I’m an economist rather than an engineer! I suppose the giveaway would be that all the books right now are light-reading stuff and nothing overly heavy.

Then again, I suppose if you dress a subject up the way these books do, any subject would seem interesting. Maybe if a book was done on how chemistry’s at play everywhere around us (I suppose there is one), chemistry would have been an easier sell to me back when I hated the subject in high school.

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Seeing how my dog always greets me happily when I come back home has led me to conclude that there is no animal on earth more deserving of the title “Man’s best friend” then our canine buddies. He just goes into this crazy ecstatic run around the house and sprints towards me when he sees me at the front gate. Kinda like Dino and Fred Flinstone without the licking.

Dogs >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Cats.

John Mayer..

2011-05-18T10:55:00.001-07:00

.. is the freaking bomb. His songs are just so soothing and he doesn’t get enough credit for his lyrical abilities. Just heard this song off his first album, Room For Squares – “St. Patrick’s Day”. Beautiful lyrics.

Champions League Final

2011-05-06T05:55:00.001-07:00

So Manchester United, my second team in England after Nottingham Forest, has reached the Champions League final. Strangely though, I’m completely non-fussed about it. I think it’s because I know that there’s absolutely no way this team would beat Barcelona.

Also, I’d be delighted if United did the league/European cup double but not ecstatic like I was in 2007/2008. I no longer have the urge to wear or buy Man United replica kits like I did. In fact, I find the practice kinda tacky these days. Opposition wind-ups no longer bother me. So that’s it, the transformation’s complete. I was so hardcore and into the culture of supporting Manchester United that I actually convinced myself that I’m nothing but a foreign plastic.

Good thing then: those jerseys + numberings really were quite expensive.

A lesson learned today

2011-05-06T05:38:00.001-07:00

Well, not really learned as I already knew this; more like lesson reinforced:

“Friends in need are friends indeed”

Friends who would drop whatever work they have and go out of their way to come to your aid when you desperately need it should really be treasured.

I love my friends.

The importance of being humble.

2011-05-02T12:00:00.001-07:00

So I was involved in an internal research poster competition last week. When I found out that my participation was compulsory, I thought about just pulling up one of my old posters to submit. As I gave it more thought, however, I thought this was a good opportunity to get something on the CV. Yes, I noticed that I’ve become a little CV-obsessed lately but that’s a story for another day.

With that in mind, I set out to design the best poster I could. I trawled through dozens of articles offering tips on designing a good poster and coupled them with my experience to produce, I must say, a poster that I was fucking well proud of. I spent hours tweaking the spacings, editing images and making sure it was as easily digestible as possible and the end result brought a little tear to my eye.

Even though I put up a front about not taking it seriously, I wanted to win quite badly. On the day, when I looked at the competition, I felt that there were only 2 who were genuine contenders. The rest were basically manuscripts on a wall, badly edited amalgation of charts and poorly thought-out layouts. Which was why when the Director of Studies came by and jotted down my poster number into his mark sheet, I was encouraged about my winning prospects. He looked and me and he said “What? It’s good!”

Well, it didn’t matter in the end because I lost. The particpants were judged by general visitors including those who don’t necessarily know what makes a good poster, further strengthening my beliefs that (a) “one man, one vote” doesn’t work when the voters are “uneducated” (b) sport is great because it’s the only competition where victory is always fair.

At the risk of this being read by anyone from work, all I’ll say is that I genuinely felt that only one of the winners was even decent. The rest, one in particular, were such utter turds that I felt nauseous upon the announcement. They weren’t even the best of that bad bunch!

The disappointment lingered for a while and quickly turned into frustration as I puzzled over what exactly went wrong. I pondered over the idea that maybe I was wrong about what made a “good” poster. Maybe I was a little too arrogant in deciding that my poster was the best. I thought in the end that that wasn’t likely; my conclusion was just to blame the scoring and judging system, and decide that the praise from someone knowledgeable ,i.e. the DoS, was reward enough for me.

There are times in life when you have to hold your hands up and admit the better entry won or risk being labelled a sore loser. That was not one of those times. I sucked it in though because it seemed unnecessary to kick up a fuss over an admittedly minor competition. I just hated losing, is all.

I have bigger fish to fry.

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I knew the bad academic results from my years of being lazy during pre-U would come back to haunt me. I can only hope that more recent academic achievements will gloss over it a little. I want those jobs so bad it hurts.

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I’ve been reading up a lot on subjects outside of my field of research lately. The main reason for this is that I became convinced last year that I wasn’t going to be staying in academia if/after I complete my doctorate degree. I knew then what I wanted to do and that getting in would be a long shot at my current state so I started to work on my shortcomings. I’m not going to repeat what field I want to get into because frankly, I’m sick of talking about wanting to do it like the others. From now, I just want to focus on getting myself to that level where I’d be comfortable in that sort of environment.

With that in mind, I’ve been stocking and reading up a lot on books that are outside my field of expertise; mainly on economics and critical thinking. I’ve also been paying a lot of attention to my body language and the way I structure my thoughts and present them. I noticed when I spoke to the people during the corporate high-tea session, that right away from the way someone chooses his words and carries himself, you can separate the genuine from the bull-shitters. The ones that are truly intelligent have this sort of air about them and when you speak to them, you can almost see them dissecting and judging your points such that you feel you best know what you’re talking about.

I have to admit these “intellectuals” are on a higher level than where I am right now but I’m not going to put them on a pedestal and worship them. I think Alex said the ones that usually fail to “make it” are the ones who try too hard to impress and I’m inclined to agree. And so, for now, I’m working on all these things not for the sake of landing the job per se but for true self-improvement. I think that if I can get the fundamentals right, my career goals will come naturally to me. After all, who’s to say I’ll actually like the job, but whatever I pick up en route to getting there or not will stand me in good stead for anything else I plan to do in the future.

Here’s to hoping that unlike the poster competition, the hard work here pays off.

Futsal!!!

2011-04-25T08:57:00.001-07:00

So I’ve finally understood my role within my regular futsal team.

In that team, I’m none other than Michael Owen.

No no, not the begrudgingly good Michael Owen of Liverpool.

I’m that Michael Owen at Manchester United.

Derp, derp. Ball? I iz kick the ball?

Yes, yes, that Michael Owen who you look and wonder, wait, what’s the point of that guy again?

You see, I’m not in the first team. In fact, I’m not even the first choice substitute. I’m the guy that gets called upon when they look around the bench, see me and also an old lady mopping up the stands, thought really hard who to pick and decide to put me in eventually while heaving a loud sigh.

I cannae believe I’m doin’ this. Fuck me, get in, Mickey. Sigh.

My primary attributes are, well, I can’t dribble very well. I can’t control a high pass; I can barely control a low one. Like Michael Owen of ManYoo, my passing is abysmal; my positioning substandard.

In fact, my only purpose within the team is to be on the end of a passing move to finish it up and score. That’s right, finishing! And actually, you know what, I’m not very good at that either. I chip in with a few goals every now and then through a scuffed shot and that’s about it.

Yes folks, that’s me. The Michael Owen of Manchester United. A complete mirror image. /facepalm

Actually, you know what, I think I hustle more than Mickey when the team loses the ball. So fuck that comparison.

Me>>>>>>>>>>>> Michael Owen

Dead exhausted..

2011-03-21T11:30:00.001-07:00

.. from working 16 to 18 hour days every day for the past 35 days.

I’m now nearing the end of my stint here and looking at all the work that I’ve managed to get done, I have to say I wouldn’t have it any other way.

No matter what happens results wise, I can truly say that after giving it my all, I have no regrets should things fuck up. The next 2 days are absolutely crucial. Re: the last post, I’m so close to doing the treble. Wish me luck!

Things rarely go as planned.

2011-03-17T08:04:00.001-07:00

Before I came to Taiwan, I imagined myself working hard to meet my objectives and seeing the country during the weekends. When I came home after the 4 month stint, I thought I’d have completed most of the work and got a great travelling experience out of it as well.

Well, let’s just say things didn’t go as planned. I did do what I set out to do but in vastly different proportions. To begin, I worked hard. Ridiculously hard. 12 hour in the labs, 4-6 hours in the room typing up reports/reading up on lectures, and 6-8 hours sleep. I had to juggle my Malaysia project and the project my Taiwanese advisor cooked up so my day was often a carefully coordinated overlap of tasks. Leave this in for 4 hours, use the time to do something else, come back to it, finish it up for 2 hours, back to the other thing.

The only break I got from the 7-days-a-week routine was when there were power trips that forced me to stay at home. Also, when experiments didn’t go my way, and science experiments rarely do, I got really down mentally. It was just the thought of expanding all that effort and having little to show for it that really killed me. Science is a bitch that way. Unlike accounting or corporate jobs, where it’s more muscle than brain, research is a crazed amalgation of both. You need to put in a hard shift in the labs and also have the critical thinking to dissect the information you’ve obtained; how and why it’s failed or succeeded. More often than not, there are no references for you to fall back on and if there are, they are often intentionally vague. In other words, it’s all you out there, nobody’s there to save you, not even your advisor. And I’m saying this for all forms of science, not just chemistry.

Now you might think reading this that I’m bemoaning my fate but although it was really exhausting, I think I really grew as a person after this experience. I mean, I thought I’ve dealt with setbacks before, but what I experienced here was unreal. Experiencing failure after failure, I learned the value of perseverance the hard way and success tasted so, so sweet whenever it came along. It’s a very exciting ride, if anything. I really do think now that if/when I step into the corporate world, I’ll be able to handle anything it throws at me. There will be problems on a bigger scale and I’ll struggle sometimes, sure, but I’ll look back at this and think, nah, I can deal with it.

Of course, I haven’t survived it yet. In fact, I’m still walking a tight rope. I’ll really say I’ve made it when I’ve survived the viva voce and donned the red robe. And so, back to the Taiwan attachment, with less than a week remaining, it comes down to this. In a strangely identical image of Man United’s treble season in terms of order and significance, my projects come down to 3 defining tests: the Premier League, the FA Cup and the Champions League.

I just won the Premier League today and I’m over the moon. There’s the FA cup tomorrow, which I’ll be more than glad to win but won’t be overly disappointed if I don’t. And then there’s the Champions League, a big bitch of a test with even greater rewards if I conquer it. Sure, I have the Premier League, but like United when they lost to Barcelona, the victory will still feel a bit hollow without Ol’ Big Ears. The silver-titania nanocomposite photocatalysis test is my Champions League final.

5 days to go. Game on.

On a new adventure..

2010-11-26T11:43:00.001-08:00

So I’m typing this on a plane en route to Taiwan. Air Asia’s Premium Economy class is fantastic by the way. I don’t think I can ever go back to bog-standard Economy ever again. I’ll write about how awesome it was in a separate post complete with pictures. It’s freaking ace!

I had mixed feelings about this trip and still do actually. For one, I’m not sure how well I’d be able to cope travelling and staying alone in a non-English primary speaking country. During the UK trip the last time, I went over with some friends and I knew of others who were studying there as well so it was a little easier to adapt away from home. This time, I’ll be heading there without knowing a single person in the entire bloody country. Fuck me..

However, I’ve talked myself into doing this as a character building exercise. I know it’s hardly Zimbabwe that I’m going to but I think it will be a very enriching experience if I focus on the positives. Besides, there’s some serious work to be done when I’m there so there should be ample distractions.

Socializing is going to be interesting. I’m very comfortable socializing in English but not so much in Mandarin, much less Taiwanese Mandarin. I have no idea how outgoing or friendly the people there will be like or if I’ll have much time for a social life. I promised myself I’ll make time during the weekends though but I can foresee some lonely meals for the first week at least.

Still, this research attachment should provide for plenty of interesting anecdotes later in life and really, staying in an Eastern country for an extended period of time is definitely a sort of stepping-into-the-unknown thing for me. I know of at least 2 people from work who genuinely would like to swap places with me and would do so without a moment’s hesitation so I think I should definitely extract the best out of the situation.

Besides, when I take a step back and look at it, how wimpy does it sound for a full grown adult (I am one, right?) to be all nervous and scared about a relatively short 4 month stay in a pretty developed country (not so sure about the place I’ll be at, though)

All the new customs, culture and culinary experience to be had. This should be a good one. To an enjoyable and fruitful stay ahead!! *clinks wine glass*

P/S: I’m not asking for much. Just give me a single room and my own bathroom and I’ll be bloody overjoyed!

Upon reading my past few posts..

2010-10-15T22:56:00.001-07:00

… I realize that the this blog is getting too critical of things, like I’m all perfect and everyone’s rubbish. I am not, in fact I practise self-deprecation so much in real life it’s unhealthy. Anyway, here’s a cute picture to lighten the mood:

Ego-boosting via criticism

2010-10-15T22:31:00.001-07:00

It may not be true at all but I’ve come to a conclusion lately that most people, I’d give it an arbitrary 95%, think they’re on a higher intellectual level than the average crowd, including myself. I’m not saying that they think they’re smarter than everyone else; that’s a different kind of delusion altogether; just that they think they’re smarter than most people, the average Joes.

It’s easy to come to this conclusion as it would explain a lot about why people criticize everything all the time; often about things that they don’t fully understand. I’m sure you hear people ranting about things everywhere: the fuel subsidies cut, the raise in taxes, the standard of education in Malaysia etc, football tactics, price of goods and the choices other people make.

The latter is particularly annoying for me because the tone in the criticism says they think they know better, that anybody doing anything contrary to what they perceive is right is an idiot. Now it’s perfectly fine if whatever the critic says makes sense or contributes towards a proper debate but if it doesn’t, then he/she comes off as a massive twat. I have to stress that this is directed towards people who use a self-righteous tone when talking. The “I don’t understand why…… Stupid or what?” tone.

There are many examples but I’ll give a mild one.

Critic: “I don’t understand why people queue up for hours to get an iPhone. Can’t you just wait a few days more and just stroll into a shop to get one.” /self-righteous

.. and then you have people agreeing and sneering away. I’ve witnessed this scene on more than a couple of occasions but there’s a personal satisfaction in refuting this one because I did queue for hours (4 to be exact) on the first day to obtain one (not for me). Probably why I took offence to this particular statement.The simple reasons are early-bird promotions and scarcity in stocks.

There was a free RM89 case and a RM100 rebate for anyone who got it on that particular day. If that wasn’t a good enough incentive, there are also massive shortages in stock throughout the country with Digi adopting a rationing system; selling only 20 units a day per store or something. There is also a scarcity in the total available stock. There are people reporting that the wait is 2 months at certain areas for the new batch to arrive.

So by spending approximately 4 hours to wait on the first day; the bulk of which was spent at a Mcdonald’s reading after getting a queue number, I saved myself the time and hassle of running from store to store trying to locate a place that sells one and I got a nice little RM189 rebate. That’s the reason why people queue for hours on the first day. Because unless you’re lucky or have connections, you *cannot* stroll into a store a few days later to get one. Well, that and they have mad gadget lust.

This particular anecdote, besides getting it off my chest, highlights why when you don’t understand what you’re talking about, it’s better to ditch the self-righteous tone instead of being an empty vessel to seem intelligent. If the subject matter seemed laughably trivial to you, then another example would be the criticism of the government over the cutting of fuel subsidies, and criticizing is a mild way of putting it.

Now this subject matter is particularly tricky. Malaysia, after all, is a net exporter of oil. One side argues that the oil reserves will eventually run out and the subsidies are a huge drain on our resources, the other argues that new drilling sites will always be found and that as a net exporter, fuel should be made cheaper to the people who are already being taxed heavily on vehicles and sold a lower grade of fuel.

Now I don’t claim to be an expert of the matter and I personally feel that the subsidy cut should be done but gradually in small amounts so that an efficient public transport offering a suitable transportation alternative can be put in place. I may be wrong and may be missing out a few points worthy of consideration but the fact that there are so many sides to this argument means it warrants more than a simple “Stupid government, useless, always raise fuel prices, absolutely corrupt”.

This used to bother me when it came to football-related chatter but these days, I don’t care about it much anymore. As for other matters, I try not bother to correct the ignorantly loud nowadays. After all, a wise man once said don’t argue with fools, because people from a distance don’t know who is who.

Literary Cliche/Faux Pas

2010-10-14T17:06:00.001-07:00

Now I have to admit that I’m no writing genius myself but it grates on me whenever I see any of the following being used; worse still if it’s used wrongly. Maybe, I am being a pedant and there are probably instances of literary cliche here that would annoy some other reader but it’s bothered me too many times for me to keep it in.

Off the top of my head (hmm is this a cliche? It probably is), the list of phrases that I’ve seen used/misused too many times:

1) "Just my 2 cents”. I’ve seen this phrase used to the point of tedium in local online forums and comment sections and it’s usually followed by a smiley doing a peace sign. Every time I see someone use it, it’s like having the phrase morph into a hand, extend itself from my laptop screen and slap me in the face.

Why does it annoy me? I’ve been trying to pin-point the reason and I’ll just put it down to the regularity with which it’s used. It’s the “it’s no rocket science” effect. It seems like people think it “smartens up” the post or as if the 4 words will magically quell any tension caused by his/her preceding post.

“Yeah, I think the Mac is a brilliant machine but the amount of software that is coded for Windows just makes it the more sensible choice especially with the introduction of Windows 7. Just my 2 cents” Why the fuck use it? To me, it’s like writing a sensible post and then scribbling all over it with a marker pen. I have and always will disregard any post which ends with Just. My. Fucking. 2. Cents. Yeah take your change and fuck off, yeah?

2) “Literally”. I think there really is no more going back on this one. It’s a lost cause. People on Facebook do it, I’ve seen blog posts with this mistake and the media does it. Heck, if even the media does it, what hope do these copy and paste fucktards have? I don’t mean you can’t use the word at all but please use it right. People seem to think that “literally” is a word-for-word replacement for “really”.

Here’s a hint for you:

lit·er·al·ly –adverb

1. in the literal or strict sense: What does the word meanliterally?

2. in a literal manner; word for word: to translate literally.

3. actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy: The city wasliterally destroyed.

4. in effect; in substance; very nearly; virtually.

IT’S NOT!!

So you can’t literally die for someone (well, actually you can, but you weren’t going to), literally explode with happiness, go literally out of your mind or one that I hope to see actually, literally go head over heels.

Unfortunately, this is one abuse I don’t see going away anytime soon, which is literally annoying the shit out of me. Okay, not really.

3) “Random”. I’ll keep this one short. IF IT’S PRE-PLANNED AND DID NOT OCCUR PURELY BY CHANCE, THEN IT’S NOT FUCKING RANDOM! Moving on..

4) “.. however, your argument has a fatal/serious flaw in it//your argument is fatally flawed”

Not quite a cliche yet, but this one’s beginning to piss me off too; yes, I’m a very angry person. So why does this phrase vex me? Well, it’s because the use of this just smacks of smug pompousness. It’s like the person using this thinks he’s fucking Sherlock Holmes or something. It usually starts off with the person agreeing with the post.

”Yes, I agree that the Mac is free of viruses and is generally very user-friendly. iLife which comes free with OSX is a great productivity suite as well and on the whole, the build quality of Macs are indeed impressive.”

Oh cool, so we’re all agreed then. Cheerio. But oh wait, hang on, there’s a mother fucking reveal.

“However, there’s a fatal flaw in your argument.”

Look at him, like he’s from Scooby Doo revealing the masked criminal’s plot to the police officers.

”Macs are only free of viruses because of their incredibly small user base. Cyber criminals will always prefer to spend time and effort coding for something that 90% (pulled-out-of-ass-stat) of the world is using. This coupled with the brilliance that is Windows 7 and the number of programs that are compatible with Microsoft’s OS and suddenly, the Mac becomes a lot less appealing.”

There, who’s the smart one now? He can almost hear the original poster going “..and I would have got away with that one if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!” Just argue your point for fuck’s sake, what’s with The Pledge, The Turn and The Prestige? It’s unnecessary and you come across as a bit of a twat.

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I’m sure there are more but I can’t think of any right now. I’ll be back with more once they decide to show up again in my head. If I sound like a very angry person in the post, I have to stress that yes, I do indeed feel that strongly against the above.

Also, checking the number of blog posts/year at the sidebar, I noticed that I usually do most of my postings towards the end of the year. Interesting stat. Shall investigate further.

Schadenfreude..

2010-10-09T09:06:00.001-07:00

.. for me is exclusively reserved for people that I dislike. I know it’s a pretty obvious statement but trust me, not everyone shares the same sentiment. There may be some slight envy at times towards friends or acquaintances but I’d never derive pleasure from watching them fail. I have however on many occassions enjoyed very much observing the misery suffered by people or public figures that I have no love for.

Which is strange why recently, I actually felt true sympathy when I heard some bad news involving someone who had always annoyed the fuck out of me. What exactly is the point of this post? Oh nothing, I guess I’m just reflecting on the goodness of my heart.

Yeah, not much else to add. Move along now.

My Moleskine notebook review..

2010-10-07T05:55:00.001-07:00

The popularity of Moleskine notebooks has always been peculiar to me. Who on earth would pay so much for a notebook you can more or less purchase for a tenth of its price? Chee Weng said you have to write on it to understand its greatness so seeing as bookdespository.co.uk had a 10% discount off all its items, I decided to take a plunge and buy the small ruled notebook.

A week later, I think I can recommend it as a good purchase for those in a habit of taking notes. It’s still a big ask to persuade someone who’s value-conscious about its merits but I think I’ll take a stab. First off, opening the wrapping and holding it, you’ll realize that it’s a really well-made notebook. I love how unassuming and understated it is, almost a beauty in simplicity kind of thing. It looks really professional as well.

The binding, the materials used and the build quality feels really solid and durable. The binding is such that you can open it flat. Every notebook, regardless of size or layout, comes standard with a ribbon bookmark, an expandable pocket and an elastic band to keep the notebook closed.

Chee Weng was raving about the paper and after writing on it, to be honest, I don’t really feel a significant difference. I definitely feel that writing on it is much smoother and it absorbs ink really well but this may be down to the placebo effect of dropping US$9 on a fucking notebook.

As purchases go, however, I’d give it a solid 8/10. I use it as a log book and everyday, I look forward to filling its pages; recording my thoughts and results in it. It’s great to read back on it when I need to and find everything there. Could I have done it on a regular notebook? Of course; but there’s something intangible about the Moleskine notebook that makes you just want to write in it. Like Chee Weng deduced, it’s probably down to its build and paper quality.

Of course, there’s also the supposed legacy of the notebook; it’s marketed as the book that Hemingway, van Gogh and Chatwin used to write in. A quick wiki search has found it to be nothing more than a marketing angle: they used the same type of book but it’s not the same brand. Nevertheless, I never bought the book for the glamour anyway; I mean, the book design hardly screams “look at me!”

So, if you’re asking if it’s a worthwhile purchase, my conclusion would be: if you have something you feel you’ll record on a daily basis or if you want to use it as a journal or organizer for work, then why not? There’s a premium to pay, sure, but I don’t think you’ll regret the purchase too much. It’s hard to justify the price to curious minds but screw what they think. Moleskine notebooks. Awesome.

Testing..

2010-10-04T13:11:00.001-07:00

edit to add: Picture upload’s good. Windows Live Writer 2011’s awesome! Brb kthx..

Good Purchases

2010-09-26T02:44:00.001-07:00

I have had to face this fact over the years. I never make good purchases. I make okay purchases every now and then but most of the time, I almost always over-pay for something or make the wrong purchase.

There have been notable exceptions however. Here is my shortlist of bang for buck, 100% satisfied purchases that I’ve made over the years:

1) My HP Pavillion Dv3. I paid for this through a 12 month instalment scheme and I just absolutely adore this laptop. I have terrible luck with computers and they have a wonderful way of fucking with me at the wrong moments.

I got this beauty for a great price, however (well, back then anyway). RM2849 for a 2.0ghz Core 2 Duo with 4GB RAM and a dedicated graphics card. Oh, and 3 years warranty! Let’s see you try to break down now. The 3 years warranty’s crucial to its resale value but right now I don’t plan to let this go any time soon.

Has a Lightscribe cd burner for you to burn images directly onto CD’s and has all the bells and whistles that a Macbook doesn’t: card reader etc.

Single-handedly destroyed my chronic desire to get a Macbook. Top, top purchase.

2) My Casio F-91W digital watch. Google it for the image; I really can’t be arsed to post a picture. I love this watch: no-frills, gives the time, backlight for dark conditions, light, water-proof and I don’t have to take care of it like a baby. There’s also the retro factor involved.

Keeps the Tissot and Seiko gathering dust on the shelf. Excellent purchase.

3) Nintendo DS. I don’t play it as often as I would like but it’s excellent for those times when I’m away on a long, boring trip and I don’t have the internet. Great for killing time and has some excellent games.

For RM550. Awesome purchase.

4) iPhone. Let’s put it this way. Since its purchase in early 2008, I haven’t had the undying desire to change phones like I did before this.

For RM1400. Wank-tastic purchase.

And that’s it. Yes, I’m horrible when it comes to looking for value.

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”When you’re closer to graduating, if you’re interested, you can send me your resume and I’ll see what I can do.”

That coupled with a snippet about BCG looking to expand in healthcare (sort of related to my field of research) and my motivation levels have soared through the roof. It’s not much, it’s no job guarantee, heck it, it’s not even an interview guarantee, but I’ll take that sliver of hope and run with it.

When you’re pursuing a doctorate, you’ll cling onto any source of motivation like a sex-starved dog humping a bitch.

Okay, that’s a pretty disturbing simile. Till next time then.

You know that sinking feeling..

2010-04-12T01:43:00.001-07:00

.. when you realize just how far off your objectives you really are?

No? Well yeah, I’m kinda in that zone right now. Want to get the experiments up and running again asap but there are shit loads of papers to mark this term. Add to the fact that the experimental results haven’t been encouraging and the long term goal of the project seems so distant from the current work and yeah, things are looking pretty messy at the moment..

Then, there’s the small matter of not knowing how the feedback on the progress report is going to be and a looming conference paper submission deadline for which I don’t have a suitable title for.

Mid-doctorate traumatic stress. Bollocks…

Testing to see if..

2010-04-07T07:28:00.001-07:00

.. I am now able to upload pictures in my post straight off Windows Live Writer..

Edit to add: It appears I can! Awesome..

So I’ll check the weather wherever you are..

2010-04-05T05:49:00.001-07:00

… cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight =)

The Best Laid Plans..

2010-03-13T01:33:00.000-08:00

What an awesome Saturday.

Gavin's staying over in KL for the weekend instead of going back to Melaka like he usually does so I joined him and Edwin for dim sum breakfast at this new place I haven't tried. Food's pretty good but I still think Damansara Jaya's a tad better.

Futsal was cancelled unfortunately, but Nick texted asking about poker with some new friends at some unknown place. Semi-serious apparently, RM20 buy-in with RM1/RM2 blinds, an order of magnitude higher than what we usually play with. It would be fun to play with some serious players for a change, I thought, so I agreed to go.

About around 2.30pm though, I got a surprise phone call from Grace, who was back from the US but was going to leave on Wednesday. She said she was meeting Kenneth at Uptown Pappa Rich and asked if I wanted to join. I haven't seen her in ages and there was so much to catch up on so even though it was such short notice, I texted Nick saying I would be late for poker and headed over to Uptown for a bit.

After the catch-up session, I went over for poker, won (or lost, I dunno) a bit and all in all, had a pretty decent Saturday afternoon....

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Except I DIDN'T do any of the above! Had to say no because I had to go back to the campus to finish up on some lab work and when Grace called, I was already 5 minutes away from the campus so yeah, that was that.

What an awesome Saturday. Pffft...

Clamshell Packaging..

2010-03-09T06:39:00.001-08:00

I hate these things with a passion. Sure, they help the retailers from having their small, expensive items shoplifted but they’re a bitch to open! A pair of scissors is a must as you can’t rip them open with your bare hands. (huge props if you can, though)

Reason for the sudden outburst: I just cut my finger from the sharp edges while opening one. It’s no big deal at all but it’s the tipping point from all the frustration borne from opening these little bastards over the years. Why can’t they just put it in a nice little cardboard box for you to open up elegantly?

Pffft..

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The biggest time-waster in research has to be looking for all the experiment apparatus needed. Take today for instance: wasted a whole day looking for a buchner flask, cork and tube; delaying the filtering process by a day, which in turn, delayed the titration process. I envy the pharmacy lab a lot. They have all the equipment they need and never have to go around scrounging for a lousy beaker or spatula.

Oh right, and one of the stoppers for the flask mysteriously disappeared so I decided to just nick one from the cabinet where the technician took it from earlier to pass to me. So I was rummaging through the cabinet when Yi Jing, one of my colleagues crept up (well, either she crept up or she has a really silent walk) and jokingly asked: “Oi, stealing stuff ar?” There really isn’t a more sinking feeling than being caught in the act but of course, I played it off as cool as I can with a “Haha, no la, yeahh…” before switching topics. Smooth..

Speaking of buchner flasks, the one that was usually connected to the vacuum pump was missing the other day. Ee Von who was there at the time, offered to borrow me one of hers after seeing how lost I was (presumably).

So anyway, there’s this sort of stopper that I needed to seal the flask with and she wanted to ask what size it was. She asked, very elegantly, thus:

EV: “How big is your cork?”

CM: “Well, it’s… *pause* You know what, that sounded really wrong..”

EV: “ *pause* *laughs* Yeah, it does! "

Apparently, only “dirty-minded” people will think of that. Hmm..

A couple of days later, I was guilty of another accidental sexual euphemism. I wanted to ask Seow Yen, the bane of my existence when it comes to iPhone gaming (Clue: She always has a higher score. Always.), if she’s tried this game that was similar to Bejeweled. I asked, quite unassumingly, thus:

CM: “So have you played Trism before?”

Yen: “…….”

CM: (/facepalm)

Yeah, reaal classy…

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I wanted to end this post with a cryptic rant initially but strangely, I don’t feel like it anymore. Hmm, wonder what happened during the 5 minutes I took to cobble this toge… oh wait, nope, it’s still there.

I wish people would stop insulting my intelligence sometimes. It’s very annoying. There, how’s that for cryptic?

Perception of new-ness..

2010-03-06T20:28:00.001-08:00

So I got this John Mayer album yesterday which I was convinced just came out as I haven't seen it in stores prior to this. There’s this certain excitement of knowing you’re listening to something new, possibly ahead of everyone else.

Well, a quick check in Wikipedia put a damper to that. Release date: November 2009.

Still wasn’t the worst case I’ve experienced, though. A conversation with Sarah a couple of weeks back:

CM: hey mun
Sarah: heys meng
CM: I have in my hands the new killers’ album! =D
Sarah: day and age?
CM: day & age, yeah
CM: I like it better than hot fuss somehow
Sarah: ah, i see haha, made me so excited for nothing
CM: well, it’s new to me!
Sarah: hehe

Well, I knew the album wasn’t as new as I thought but I had no idea. A quick check in Wikipedia revealed:

Release date: November 2008

Finger. On. The. Pulse.

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I also signed up for the UNICEF monthly contribution thing. Ooh, look at me, I do charity work. Nah, this isn’t about that. What I want to talk about is the fundraiser manning the booth who was a ridiculously enthusiastic hard-sell.

Among the things he said that pissed me off a little was when he used the break down to daily cost thing.

“RM 1.26 per day only. I bet that *points to my boost juice drink <which is awesome btw>* costs more than RM 1.26, right?*

Of course I realize he’s trying to put the costs in perspective but the problem I had with it was that he was putting you in a spot. It’s rude. If he compared the costs to a general glass of teh tarik, he would be saying: “The daily cost is RM1.26 which is about the cost of a teh tarik; not a lot as you can see”

When he makes a reference to something I’ve bought however, it gets a bit more personal. It’s saying “What, you can spend so much on that particular drink but you can’t contribute to our charity?”

He hardly ever touched on what is it UNICEF actually does with my money or how much of the RM38/month I’m paying is going to trickle down to the children, just about how easy it was to contribute and how little the amount was. When you strip it down, he’s getting people to sign up more through guilt than the understanding that they’re doing something meaningful.

Maybe that’s the whole idea but I just found it very off-putting. I’ve been wanting to sign up for this for a while now even before he approached me however, so I was going for it regardless of what he did or didn’t say which was kind of bad because I was validating his cheese-ball fishing tactics.

Things I dislike during a haircut..

2010-03-02T04:47:00.001-08:00

1) Awkward conversations with the shampoo girls. With this, it really doesn’t matter how hot they are. I realized the conversations were pointless after the first 3 visits. Well, not to say there had to be a “point” (ie getting her number and getting laid), just that it annoys me to have to answer the same set of questions every time I visit the salon.

For some quirky reason, the hairstylist remembers what I said the previous visit but not the shampoo girls. So, every time it’s the same thing:

a) So, are you still studying?

b) Oh, where do you study/work?

c) Is this your first time here?

d) Do you live around here?

So these days, I just dive straight for the magazine, be engrossed in whatever I’m reading and meet any questions with one-worded replies.

2) Weak neck/scalp massages. I remember very distinctly 2 years ago when this shampoo girl gave me a neck massage that felt like it would never end. It wasn’t really a massage, more like a half-hearted caress or something. I mean, I don’t hate it but it just felt weird, plus if you’re gonna get shampoo lather on my neck, please make it count.

3) Weak neck/scalp massages from shampoo guys. Yeah, what I just said but add a very significant amount of awkward. It happened last month, lasted about 10 minutes and I actually got up when he was dispensing the extra shampoo lather in the sink (he still wasn’t done yet?! what?!) and pretended I thought it was over.

Awkward.

4) The styling that they do for you after the haircut. Usually after a haircut, the stylist will do your hair up for you with wax or whatever but they usually do it in a particularly funky manner that they think looks good but you find weird: the Dragonball hair tousle. And because they don’t put enough wax on it or whatever, it remains standing for about 5 seconds after you leave the salon and you’re left with a flat hair and about 5-10 strands standing, which if you can imagine, looks very stupid.

These days, I’d just say it’s alright because I’d wash it off when I get home anyway. And they happily oblige because they save on time and hair products.

Other than these occasional peeves though, Thomas & Guys SS2: awesome place.

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I remember doing a post a few months back about sending 6 year old me a letter to warn him of future happenings, and wondering how cool it would be. Well, a reverse of it actually happened, sort of, if I stretch it a bit.

In my Windows Live Writer, there’s a draft folder and there are posts in there which I never published either because a) I lost interest in the topic halfway through or b) I didn’t want someone I didn’t want reading the post to be, well, reading the post, and though I tried to make it cryptic for the sake of ranting, it felt pointless in the end so I stopped.

Anyway, in a convoluted and probably inaccurate way of looking at it, in that drafts folder, January CM did send March CM a letter with a very specific set of instructions and the consequences if they were ignored. I guess it can be deduced by the very fact that this post is here that March CM ignored them.

Well, sorry January CM, turns out you were right after all (wrong about the 10 other things you said in the past though) and I really should have known better. I do now. Yes, I realize the post is cryptic, contradicting what I said 2 paragraphs ago but I wanna vent and it feels kinda relieving. Hmm, maybe I should consider publishing all the posts sitting in the drafts folder. *takes a look at posts in there* Okay, maybe not..

It’s the simple things in life..

2009-12-22T02:47:00.000-08:00

I don’t know, maybe I’m a person who’s easily pleased but I find that a lot of simple gestures/events/gifts/purchases …

Like finding a bonus curly fry among your normal, boring fries.

Like buying a really good music album.

Like receiving a call from an old friend.

Like replacing a burned light bulb or refilling the windscreen cleaning fluid on my own.

Like refusing a plastic bag at the sales counter.

Or maybe purchasing something that may seem ordinary, like an external hard disk.

… are enough to lift my spirits. Kinda like this guy..

Things I’ve learned after completing the review paper..

2009-12-22T02:30:00.001-08:00

1) The only way you can beat procrastination is to fight fire with fire. Procrastinate hard enough until you’re so sick of wasting time that you’ll eventually get to work.

2) Following up on procrastination, I find that I feel a general sense of accomplishment after finishing minor tasks which really hinders my work progress. For example, I always feel like I deserve a rest despite only finishing 2 paragraphs of text/reading 1 article.

If only there’s a progress bar that updates itself as I go along to indicate how much of work that has actually been completed.

3) It’s amazing what you can accomplish once a rigid deadline has been set. I have never finished more than 5 articles a day prior to the Dec 15 deadline. In the 5 days leading up to Dec 15, I completed about 50-55, averaging approx. 10 a day.

4) Friends in need are friends indeed.

5) Working on the bed never works.

6) Synctoy is an awesome program for backing up/syncing files between different computers

7) Chemistry is actually a pretty fun subject to learn. If only I’d known this during my SPM years.

8) Contrary to what I thought before, it *is* necessary to print out all those articles despite being able to read them from a screen. The ability to highlight/scribble notes next to the blocks of text is very, very useful.

9) I hated it (still do, actually) when I came across articles filled with pointlessly long and over-conjoined sentences using words that were picked from a thesaurus and yet, when I started writing my review paper, I found myself doing the same because doing otherwise somehow made my paper look elementary.

10) Wikipedia is a life-saver. Donated $10. Only $10? Well yeah, that’s $10 more than most of the Malaysian students would have contributed, I’m sure!

11) I love stocking up on books borrowed from the library and not reading them.

12) I’m so sick of Mcdonald’s. Because I tend to work till late or go to work after everyone had had lunch, eating in the car after passing the Mcdonald’s Drive-Thru was the easiest and most efficient way to fill up. (45 mins drive after all)

Hence, Mcdonald’s almost every other day. Ugh, absolutely sick of it.

13) The working habit that took almost 1.5 months to put into routine took only 1.5 days to get rid of. Back to bumming for me.

14) When in the world have sticky notes urging you to “concentrate!” and “work hard, don’t procrastinate!” ever work? They’re like a nagging mother, I tune them out after 5 seconds.

15) Authors who don’t put the title of the articles cited in the references section can fuck right off.

16) There is no 16, actually. That is all.

Review Paper >>>>> Me

2009-12-02T09:00:00.001-08:00

The good news is the set in stone deadline is December 15, which means, complete or not, my work will end then. The bad news is, I’m getting absolutely bum-raped by this review work.

It was something I expected to have finished by early November. I really upped the effort during mid-October and it’s now December but I’m still no closer to finishing it!

I’m just being asked to learn too many things too soon. There are loads of biological terminology and concepts in there that I’ve no complete grasp of; understandable given my last encounter with it was during SPM. I had to wiki biological terms every odd sentence!

Add Chemistry into the mix as well, and I’m really struggling. I bought an A-Levels Chemistry book a couple of weeks ago and that really helped me understand the concepts but still, most of the chemistry involved in the papers I’m reading are really high level stuff.

It would be alright if I was just absorbing stuff off it but no, I was asked to review it, meaning providing critical commentary on something I didn’t really have a clue about! All these contributed to my slow progress as I had to do a lot of side reading on top of going through all the articles AND summarizing them into a cohesive paper, which is a lot harder than it sounds.

Strange to say, though, I’m kind of enjoying being thrown into the deep end and being forced to sink or swim. At least once I survive this (if, actually), I’ll have a fairly high understanding on my field. Doing a doctorate was never supposed to be easy anyway.

Oh, and Windows Live Writer rocks! This rant was a bit of an excuse to test out this Microsoft offering actually and I have to say, it’s made me want to blog a bit more. It' just makes things so easy.

Not kidding about the work stress, though. I can’t wait for December 15 to come!

=D

2009-11-23T23:40:00.000-08:00

I got my first birthday card..

2009-11-14T07:48:00.000-08:00

... this year!!

Yes, it's by Domino's Pizza but I don't really care. They have a gift for me as well. Get a 2nd Regular Pizza within the same order at only RM3! I really love Domino's New York Crust pizza so this will come in really handy.

Thanks guys. I mean, you even sent it early presumably after considering that my birthday's at the end of the month so I'll have time to make full use of the offer. It's a little early but I think I can safely say that this might just be the most useful present I'll receive this year. I can do nothing more other than express my sincere grati....... waiiiiit a minute...

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

Adam Lambert's New Album Cover..

2009-10-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

What. The. Fuck.

My favourite phrase..

2009-10-27T01:08:00.000-07:00

.. in the entire English vocabulary:

Deadline Extension!

After watching this..

2009-10-24T05:28:00.001-07:00

I remember just how much I used to despise this little twat.

Look at how happy he was scoring against United.

And now, this...

In the words of Sir Alex, he was "desperate to play for us". Not so smug when your career's heading down the pipes, huh? Huh?!

Out of the frying pan, into the fire..

2009-10-21T00:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a really funny 3 weeks for me since I came back from Melbourne. Just one mishap after another, whether through my own blur-ness or just pure shit luck.

There's the whole missing the flight thing because I misread the flight times (Wed 0045 means you leave on Tuesday night). That one was still bearable because the extra time meant not having to rush back from the day trip the night before to get to the airport.

The day I came back from the trip, I met my supervisor who told me there's a pretty good chance I would have to do a 2-3 month attachment overseas. Which would be fine except it's gonna be in Hyderabad, India. I've heard very bad things from my colleagues about that place and they were only there for a week!

Then of course, there was the whole girlfriend issue which really took a toll on me. The issue is still not resolved, by the way. Basically, she got a bit, erm, suicidal. And me being too nice a guy, in the end decided to "give it one last try". I know, "but you said it was over the last time". Well, she fucking cut herself, okay? What do you want me to do?

Who am I kidding, I really don't give 2 shits about this relationship anymore. I just don't want her blood on my hands. Face it, I'm never going to be able to be free, am I? Why can't she be like all the other girls? We call it splits, and we move on with our own happy lives. Nooo, it has to be this dramatic.

Anyway, I've been trying to filter this issue out of my head because it depresses me every time I think about it but also because I don't have time for this. There's a review paper due at the start of November and I'm only about 50% in!

That's not the end of my misery, though. My dad brought the Vios out the other day probably because it was conveniently parked outside and he didn't want to go through the hassle of opening the automatic gate to drive his car. Not the point. He caught a cold on the way back and so, wound down the windows on the way home. He didn't, however, wind it back up when he came home.

Now my cd pouch containing all my favourite CD's were inside the Vios so even though it hasn't rained for days, of course it rained that night! My CD's were, thus, soaked in rainwater overnight. I tried drying it for a day but when I tried playing them in the player, some of the songs started skipping. RM800 worth of painstakingly sourced albums, ruined.

(image of my wet CD's) ***

Then, comes the self-merk. My Wira's road tax was going to expire soon so we sorted all that out and my mum came back with the new road tax sticker. She asked me to put it on when I'm free and for some reason I can't remember, I delayed doing it.

So a couple of nights ago, I decided to get to it. Opened the door, sat down and attempted to peel off the road tax sticker. If you've tried it before, you'd know the thing's a bitch to take down but removed it I did in the end; in pieces of course.

I then proceeded to open the glove compartment to stick on the new sticker. When I couldn't find it, I suddenly felt something was amiss. I stared at the "old" road tax sticker I tore down minutes ago.

(image of a torn up road tax sticker saying "18 OKT 2010") ***

My mum helped me replace the sticker without my knowing, and so, yes, I hilariously tore down the new one. There was some consolation in that I won't have to pay the full price for a new one since they have a record of the road tax renewal but still, fucking hell...

Hang on, there's more..

The next morning, I slept in a bit and was hence, running late for the lab session I was supposed to conduct.

Now, there's this sort of a flyover that I've been passing by for my last 4 years of driving to Semenyih and there's never EVER been a speed trap there. Since I was a bit late, I thought, screw it, just this once, I was going to push the limit a bit.

Of course, given the theme of this post, you know what happened, right? Yes, of all the days, that one time I decide to push the speed limit at a flyover with no known history of speedtraps, a policeman sits there with a speed camera in all his full glory.

You're usually given a 10 km/h leeway in Malaysia. The speed limit was 90km/h. My speedometer was hovering at about 100 km/h, give or take. Knowing my luck, I'm probably going to be penalized for going 101 km/h.

So right now, you're thinking, poor CM, it's been rough for you. Ohhh no, it doesn't end there. Not yet, anyway.

So I went into the office after the lab session and turned on my computer, getting ready to put some solid hours into finishing that damn report. I guess I really shouldn't have been surprised when this showed up on my monitor:

(image of a computer screen saying windows won't start because some file's corrupted) ***

For no reason at all, Windows decided to die on me even though I shut it down properly the previous time. Called the IT guy, brought the computer to his room and he told me there could be a chance he has to reformat my drive.

Oh, one problem though, all my work files are inside and yes, I have no backup copies of them..

This is the sort of run of shit luck that drives people insane and plunges them into insanity, in case you didn't know..

Well, not really but yeah, for now, I'll just choose to laugh off the whole matter and get on with my work. Depression is for people with time on their hands and I'm a bit too busy for that.

You win, Universe, you win..

*** I copied the image files off my phone into the memory card and when I plugged the memory card into the computer, the images just disappeared. Into thin air. Like I never copied them in the first place. Wow, okay, this is getting a bit creepy now..

Samsung D900 >>> iPhone tbf...

2009-10-15T07:31:00.001-07:00

I remember going batshit over the iPhone back in the day. Way before Maxis brought it in. Back before there was the iPhone 3G. When it was still actually cool to own one and do multi-touch gestures with your photos or surf the net on your phone.

My hunger for it then was indescribable. I would go through my daily routine and start wondering at various points ,"You know what would be perfect right about now? An iPhone."

Of course, back then, the iPhone wasn't so readily available as they are now. Grey market imports cost a ton, well RM2500 to be exact, but it was a lot of money for a student who lived off his part time jobs and ahem, doesn't like to go to mummy and daddy to get him toys.

There was a loophole though and that was that in the US, you could actually buy iPhones off the shelves without signing a contract. That means you could get subsidized phone prices without committing to a 24 year phone deal. The reason was that the phone didn't work until you activated your contract at home. Hackers managed to find a crack, though, and that meant RM1400 iPhone's for everyone!

I had friends in the US and I would always ask once every few days if it was alright for them to get one for me, to the point of being an irritant. Trouble for me was, that was in March-April and they wouldn't be back for another couple of months, and when you are a tech geek who has a serious gadget craving, it's WAY TOO FUCKING LONG!

The source of much misery in Early 2008.

So I spent days upon weeks trawling through the online forums looking for ways to avoid being taxed if I got one of my friends to ship it home. There wasn't a way though and that meant I always had to try to get over my obsession with it and fail miserably. I would go to the Apple page every day and just stare at pictures of it or go to Youtube to watch videos of it in action. I didn't even know a girl for whom I obsessed that much over! Well I did actually, but that's a story for another day...

Finally, about a few days before I would have gone insane, out pops a saviour. Sharon's sister who was an air stewardess was flying to the US for a couple of days and very generously agreed to help me buy one! She got one for herself too in the end, probably by seeing how jubilant I was by my unexpected fortune and wondering what all the fuss was all about.

I got it off her the night after she came back and spent the entire night trying to unlock and activate the thing. It wasn't as easy as these days where you just plug your phone in, click a few buttons and be done with it. It was relatively more tedious back then, and there was also a danger you might brick your phone. I was frustrated the entire night and didn't actually succeed in getting it to work until 6 am the next morning, yes, I stayed up all the way!

Of course, my shit luck was existent even back then, I dropped it on the road 4 days after I got it, and there were huge dents over the back of it. I was actually in shock for about 30 minutes after that happened but I suppose it's good to get that first bump out of the way.

So what does this entire, boring I'm sure, back story to my 1st generation iPhone have to do with the actual topic of the post? Well, nothing actually, I just thought I'd say something about how I got it and I just veered off track. Massively.

So anyway, fast forward till 2 days ago when I finally had it with the iPhone as a phone and changed back to my old Samsung D900 and I have to say I never realized how much I missed having a dedicated phone phone.

My old baby.

It seemed hard to believe now that there really were days before the iPhone but really, I'm enjoying using my D900 more than I am the Jesus Phone. So my iPhone is basically now just a rich man's iPod touch with unresponsive, faulty buttons. My, how out of love have I fallen with it.

You see, the D900 is a phone first and foremost, and all the other fancy stuff are just things it happens to do, whereas the iPhone is a great entertainment and internet device but quite frankly, is a piece of shit when it comes to this dialing/calling business.

Consider this,

To make a phone call:

iPhone: Press home button, slide to unlock, press phone button, go to favourites/contacts, flick until name is present. press name, press number.

Samsung: Slide open, press contacts, search number, press call.

To dial a number:

iPhone: Press home button, slide to unlock, press phone button, press keypad, press numbers.

Samsung: Slide open, press numbers.

To answer a call:

iPhone: Look at phone, slide to answer.

Samsung: If you can't be bothered, just slide open to answer.

To hang up:

iPhone: Look at phone, press end call.

Samsung: Slide close to end call.

Get my drift? And this is not considering all the waiting you have to do during the menu transitions on the iPhone and the unresponsive home button which is a hardware defect that eventually happens to all iPhone's. There are just too many steps to make a phone call and sometimes when you're in a hurry, it really gets on your nerves!

The Samsung is a small, lightweight phone that doesn't make my jeans feel heavy nor cause a huge bulge on it (This is not a euphemism for anything!). And it's allowing me to actually enjoy making/receiving calls again.

I heart my Samsung D900. Welcome back, buddy. I missed ya!

It's Finally Happened..

2009-10-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

.. and before this, I was convinced that it's what I've always wanted. It was supposed to be the best thing for the both of us.

I'm just really sorry I had to break her heart like that. It shattered me inside to see her crying like she did. As much as I wanted to hug her, tell her it's going to be alright and give us "one last chance", I just couldn't.

After all, if I wasn't that interested in her, I shouldn't be wasting her time. I haven't really been happy in this relationship for a long time. While of course, there were countless memorable moments that we shared, and that I will still cherish, at the back of my mind, I've always felt like it wouldn't last. Or so I believed.

While before this, I was quite clear about the reasons why the both of us won't work, right now, I won't be able to offer a single explanation if you asked. All the supposed reasons suddenly seem so trivial now.

It has been a really numb 2 days. What was supposed to be a relief for me is turning out to be the complete opposite: grief. How annoying. Something time will heal, I suppose. If that fails, I suppose a looming review paper deadline should be enough to keep my mind off matters.

Haha. Hah. Sigh...

After declining to go to the library the previous night..

2009-10-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

CM: So the next time you guys are going to the library, lemme know okay, I wanna join..

Everyone: ...................................

CM: What? I can't study at home, can't seem to concentrate, no study table and all..

Everyone:

CM: What? So I can't study and work hard now la, is it?

*Some minor altercation with Min Li over not going to the library when she asked*

Everyone:

And that's when something clicked in my head..

CM: Oh wait, oh no, did you guys mean the pub, Library in Cineleisure yesterday?

Everyone: (realizes he was being serious the whole time)

CM: ...... you guys did mean the pub, Library...

*MASSIVE LAUGHTER*

Min Li: I was like, fair enough la, he didn't go since he didn't know Pei Fern and her friends very well.... Why would Pei Fern be studying anyway?

*MORE LAUGHTER*

Heng Lean: I thought he was joking so I didn't wanna say anything..

Ka Seong: Yeah la, who would go study on a Friday night? Lucky you didnt show up with books and short pants yesterday!

CM:

Just got out of a time warp...

2009-10-06T04:23:00.000-07:00

Well, sort of. I was taking a break from reading the journal articles just now and brilliantly decided to rest by doing MORE reading. Blogs, that is.

I used to have a friendster blog and I forgot all about it until just now when I decided to read everything again right from the very first post.

Fuck me, the things I wrote back then. Some made me laugh, most made me cringe but it was all great fun. Still though, what the hell was I thinking with some of those posts? And my writing style, gosh, it was horrible to read; ending every sentence with "...." and adding weih and lor and whatever into it. I've no idea why I thought it was alright to type like that back then. Granted, it's just a blog but it looked like some teenager wrot... oh, hang on, never mind...

Writing annoyances aside, reading it was like travelling back in time and during those moments, I really felt like I was living everything all over again from A-levels, when I first started the blog.

A special mention for the girlfriend posts in 2005: they were absolutely cringe-worthy! Damn, I really did like her a lot back then, huh? The fool, I wish I could just post a comment to the "2005 me" to warn him of what lay ahead. And also to tone down on the mushiness: oi, have you no shame?!

Anyway, once I was done, I decided to look for more blogs to read, and so I proceeded to dig up my friends' old blogs. Haha, I could copy and paste snippets of their old blog posts in msn to have a laugh but nah, I'll let them discover it for themselves. It's the whole process of reading everything word for word in chronological order that makes it fun.

Reading a number of the old blogs did make me feel sad in a way though, in that I never realized how distant I grew from some people until I read about the things I supposedly used to do with them. We were that close? Wow, what happened?

And once I was done reading, I needed something like 10 seconds to readjust to the present; entering a sort of mini reflective phase where I realize how long it has been already since ____ etc etc.

It's this whole "looking back" experience that made me glad I did decide to blog all those years ago, even if updates became more and more sparse. I could sort of see how much I've grown and learnt, besides being able to snigger at some of the posts.

Hehehe, CM, you hilarious/sad/naive/lame little bastard. (Yes, I do realize this is what the future me would be thinking too when he reads my recent posts next time)

" How come everything I think I need...

2009-10-02T02:50:00.000-07:00

... always come with batteries? "

A line off the John Mayer album I bought in Melbourne, which is strangely reflective of what I thought of the trip. I remember weighing the opportunity cost of going there for a break: a new laptop and other pointless stuff that could be bought with the RM4k ++.

In the end, I am really glad I went through with it. It was such great fun; a very welcomed break from the routine of the past few months. All the lovely places and the food, gosh the food (Cafe Vue grilled burger, Rose Garden Chinese, Miss Marples' scones, Boost Juice, Squire's Loft's awesome steak etc etc).

Of course, it wouldn't be nearly half as fun without the company.

In particular, (alphabetical order):

Alex for the couch, sweet, sweet, couch, and pretty much everything else that made the trip fun.

Chee Weng for the promise of awesome barbeque but ending up with the still quite okay Oriental Spoon equivalent. Came through with the steak dinner though, great stuff.

Daniel for recommending Cafe Vue, fucking awesome, top 3 meals I had there.

Jacey (sp?) for driving and Claypot King, and her boyfriend Leon for the humbling experience.

Jack for drunken Flight Control and Doodle Jump mastery.

Joseph and Ka Faii for PES 2v2 lessons.

Susan for the lunch.

Trisha, Seow Yen and Seow Mun for the new language and the countless laughter (both with and at me) throughout.

And all the hi-bye people I met whilst there..

Pfft, and now, back to bloody work. Yawnnn, fucking brilliant....

The Perfect Breakfast

2009-08-26T03:42:00.000-07:00

When I'm in a hurry to get to the campus in the mornings (which is just about every day), breakfast options are usually limited since I eat while I drive to save time. Crackers or a hastily-prepared cheese sandwich is usually how I get by. Suffice to say, it's not very enjoyable.

So today I decided to try something new and made a little detour to the Centrepoint Mcdonald's Drive-Thru to get something to eat during the 45 minute drive.

Now I've tried Mcdonald's breakfast before but never while driving and there's something about it that makes it so right. The Sausage McMuffin with Egg, besides being absolutely delicious, is just the right size to hold with one hand while driving. Ditto the hash brown. And gosh, I can really get used to hot milk tea in the morning.

Note: The act of eating and driving this morning was performed by a male driver. Ladies, please DO NOT attempt to replicate this dangerous act!

It's truly a wonderful way to start the morning. Makes me wonder why I don't do this more often. I definitely shall go back for more tomorrow!

Oh and did I mention the Sausage McMuffin with Egg is abso-bloody-lutely delicious?!

Dear Atheists: Proof that there is a God.

So I was idling at the office..

2009-08-11T23:54:00.000-07:00

.. the other day, just mindlessly browsing some sites while waiting for my samples to dry, when I saw a Gizmodo post about a leaked Iron Man 2 trailer. Naturally appealing to my inner geek, I clicked on the link which directed me to a Youtube video of said trailer.

Now, I was in the office of course and there was no way I was gonna have loud building explosions blaring out of my computer speakers so I fished out my trusty earphones, plugged them in and got down to some Iron Man action.

The damned video, however, was shot in a cinema by someone who had very shaky hands. The audio was utter shit as well. Not unlike your "cinema quality" pasar malam DVDs. It's all good though, because I could still make out what was going on somewhat.

Link to the Iron Man 2 trailer

Now I couldn't make out what the characters were saying because of the blurred audio so I turned my audio up, almost to the max. From the trailer, the upcoming movie was what I expected it to be, loud kabooms, wisecracks by Robert Downey and a brunette Scarlett Jo, what more could you ask for? When the Iron Man 2 title faded in at the end of the trailer, there were loud cheers by the people in the cinema.

Feeling wowed, I decided to watch the trailer again. Halfway into it though, one of my colleagues walked past me en route to the pantry and made a sound gesture with his hand, kinda like a talking mouth gesture. I didn't think too much of it until it hit me. Could it be? Oh no, oh hell no.

I quickly took off my earphones and found out to my horror that, yes, my computer speakers were bellowing out the audio from the trailer as well! And it was really loud! Scrambling for the mouse, I quickly turned the sound off.

Then I sat back and let it all sink in. So for almost 10 minutes, the entire office got to listen to some ignorant bastard watching some bootleg trailer video, complete with super loud explosions and background crowd cheers with the volume cranked up to the max?

And that ignorant bastard is me?

Fuck.

Girls are not to be messed with..

2009-08-04T02:15:00.000-07:00

Some song off some girl band off some radio:

"Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should stab you or kiss you
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues"

It's the nonchalance with which they sing "stab" that creeped the shit out of me. Like "stab" means "to hit playfully" or something. Girls = psycho. Fact.

The only crying shame..

2009-07-25T02:23:00.000-07:00

.. about being stuck with a person you've no real interest in is having to just watch the other one you do fancy waltz on by.

Pfft...

The Shackles of Marriage

2009-06-20T02:18:00.000-07:00

CM : Hey, so are you going to the dinner tonight?

Acquaintance : Oh, I'm married so I can't go..

CM : Oh, haha, okay... *moves along*

.

(Wait, she can't go BECAUSE she's married?)

People who couple a common noun...

2009-05-30T00:31:00.000-07:00

... or a proper noun with -ing to make a verb that doesn't exist. Seriously, fuck the fuck off! It's the most annoying abuse of the English language since the negligent use of the word "literally".

For example, "Facebook-ing", "Revision-ing" (It's revising, you moron!), "Assignment-ing", "Starbuck-ing" etc etc.

It wasn't funny when advertisers thought taglines like "Have you Dom-ed today?" and "Hang on, I'm Bueno-ing" were a good idea and it most certainly isn't "funny" now. I mean, hang on, *adds to list of people who should be lined up and shot dead*, for fuck's sake!

Ouch..

2009-05-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

It's funny how just 2 years back, after not winning the league title for 4 years, Manchester United winning the 2006/2007 league title felt like the best thing in the world. After the European Cup final defeat last night, however, the 2008/2009 one just feels like a consolation prize.

There's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere. I'll look for it after nursing my emotional wounds.

Curse you, hope and escalated expectations!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On a much brighter note, I've achieved another first in my life 3 days ago. I won my first ever sporting medal! The University of Nottingham Staff Futsal Tournament. Prior to this, I've never in my life won a medal in any sporting event.

I used to finish out of the qualification times every year in my high school cross-country runs. I got beat in the first round of the Adidas 3-on-3 Streetball competition. I was never the track runner or the high jumper in both primary and high school. I score 180 degrees own-goals. Recently, I even became the guy who always got picked last when they were drafting team members at the neighbourhood basketball court.

So, winning the futsal competition as a first choice goalkeeper 3 days ago naturally felt surreal. It felt great. Of course, the fact that it's a Mickey Mouse competition that nobody really gives a damn about is not lost on me. Kinda like winning a Research Award under the "Male Student in Universities Located in Semenyih, Malaysia, with the surname Ng and height above 177.5 and below 178.5cm"category.

But after all the sporting mediocrity I had to bear during my short 21 years of life, I think I deserve to bask in the glory of winning a gold medal for a while.

I'm awesome.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I don't know if it's yet another moral high ground moment for me but lately, I'm just not into gossips anymore. You know, the type where you bad-mouth somebody behind their backs but act nonchalant in front of them.

The first reason is because I believe there's always 2 sides to a story. Lots of people know it but not many practice it. Which is why I won't automatically agree with you if you're ranting to me about how the world is so unfair or how someone is such a moron. It'd be a lot more helpful to you if I step back and offer you an honest outsider's perspective rather than nod blindly along with you.

The other reason is because I'm just past the stage of forming cliques and marginalizing people whom the "gang" doesn't like. Partly because I'm not gonna let popular opinion in a group sway my judgment of a person. I find that the argument laid out is often very one-sided to whoever you're hearing it from. But also because I find the whole concept of bad-mouthing someone you dislike to a group of somebody else to be very distasteful. Almost like you're trying to get them to dislike him/her as well. Fair enough if they're sheep. Just leave me out of it.

Also, it's never a good idea to burn bridges. I know from personal experience that fate's a cruel bitch and somehow, sooner or later, you're gonna have to go to the person you "hate" for help. Of course, I'm contradicting what I said in the first paragraph i.e. being two-faced but it doesn't have to be that way. Most of the time, I find that whatever I hate in a person is really very trivial and it's often much healthier for me to be the bigger man and just shrug it off.

Plus, I'm against negative environments, especially at work. Everything can be worked out in a mature manner. There really is no benefit to be reaped from antagonizing someone or resorting to childish name-calling as someone from the university did recently. He must be in his 30's, acting like a little child in his e-mails. Frankly, I felt embarassed for him.

Yeah, this is really starting to feel like another moral high ground moment for me.

Yawnn..

2009-05-23T02:35:00.000-07:00

I realized a while back that I seemed to have lost the ability to sustain an interesting conversation in Mandarin. Beyond the usual questions like "How's life lately?" and "Any interesting plans coming up?", talking to someone genuinely felt like a complete chore and if there's anything that bugs me, it's the feeling that the person I'm talking to thinks I'm a bore. (Hey, it rhymes!)

Lately though, I haven't even been able to strike up engaging conversations in English! (But CM, you never have been interesting lulz!!11!!). "Catching up" phone conversations is usually cut short so that it doesn't descend into awkward silence, MSN messenger threads generally end abruptly and lunch with friend(s) is filled with small talk and boring topics.

This happens especially with acquaintances. I just run out of things to say beyond "How's work/studies lately?". Of course it doesn't help if the other person gives one worded replies as well. Maybe I just can't be arsed to "talk" anymore. I mean, why should I be the one to keep the conversations flowing?

Seriously though, this is worrying me slightly. Am I *gasp* boring?

Dear 11 Year Old CM

2009-05-01T05:32:00.000-07:00

A very interesting topic from the hallowed Football365 Forum, "If you could write a letter to yourself 10 years ago, knowing what you do now.."..

"

Dear me,

First of all, to prove that this is not some sick prank from your friends, I'll tell you something only you would know: You secretly adore the Backstreet Boys back in primary school even though you claim to hate everything about them and you had a crush on your Standard 1 class teacher.

Now that I've undoubtedly got your attention, there are more pressing matters to discuss, some of which you would not understand, but for both our sakes, bear with me and read on. I've compiled a list of instructions, complete with dates of events, that you must obey. They are as follows:

1) Seeing as it should be May 1999 when you read this, I think I would be correct when I say you're still using that black Chicago Bulls schoolbag which you think is so cool but is actually about half your body size and looks absolutely ridiculous.

Do NOT insist on using it until Form 2 when the strap finally breaks. Ditch it now and ask mum to get you something nice and affordable like a Bodypac since she's still very apprehensive about spending over RM100 on schoolbags.

Actually, you know what, fuck that, go to a shop in Sunway Pyramid called Tropicana Life and get a bag there. Pick a nice funky design. Tropicana Life won't be cool until later this year, so you might as well be the trendsetter. Go get em, tiger.

2) Also, middle parting hairstyles are not cool. Go to the hair saloon and tell them you want a spiky hairstyle. They're not exactly cool once you hit college but it's the best you can do in secondary school.

I know you're uneasy about this rebellious hairstyle because of conservative mum, but I tell you what, she actually likes it and thinks you look fresh in it. I know, she told me when I did it in Form 4.

3) Now let me give you some love advice. Letting girls know early on that you fancy them won't work until you've built some kind of rapport between yourselves, so talk and get to know them first. Oh, and don't let anyone in on your crush because secrets never stay secrets.

No need to get so nervous, they're just girls. You might wanna remember that talking about rock bands with girls is boring. Also, you'll eventually take a liking to this girl in Form 3, you'll know who in time. Do not invest a year going after her, she's just not interested.

Oh, oh right, there's a girl in your PMR Maths tuition class in Form 3 who will keep talking to you and also call you every week talking about what you'd think is meaningless drivel. She likes you, you retard!! Don't miss the signals, swoop in for the easy kill, or you'll wonder about what might have been. Ditto that girl scout your cousin will introduce you to.

4) For the love of god, please do well in your SPM. I'll clue you in, you'll eventually have to do a lot of Chemistry related work for your postgrad so don't hate the subject. Read Pn.Sandy's highly spotted questions, they ARE accurate despite what you might think. SPM Physics is so god damned easy so plea, oh wait, you'll actually do well for that, never mind..

Score those A's and get that JPA scholarship. Actually, screw the JPA scholarship, just apply for the HELP A-Levels high achievers' scholarship if you want, but make it a point to join HELP. The people you'll meet there will be awesome.

And don't screw up your A-levels.

5) Sub shirts and skinny jeans are a no-no. Consult Justina for fashion advice early on. You'll get to really know her in Form 5. Go on those shopping trips with her early on instead of halfway through A-levels.

6) This girl you'll be with in 2005. Sigh.......

7) List of buyers' remorse items you should avoid:

i) Pokemon and Lord of the Rings trading cards. No matter how many people play them in school, avoid them like the plague.

ii) MD walkman.

iii) Limp Bizkit CD.

iv) RM70 infrared USB dongle. You're getting scammed, you fool!

v) Money spent on cybercafes. No wait, forget that, cybercafes are cool.

8) Please do not puke in Bar Flam and some club in The Curve. Gosh, can you get any more embarassing?

9) In 2004, please tell her you love her before the moment's lost.

And that's it. There are actually more things I want to tell you but I'll just let you have little stumbles along the way because it won't be life if you don't make mistakes. Wouldn't wanna make things too easy for you.

Talk to you soon. Love you!

Yours faithfully,

2009 CM.

P/S: Greece is gonna win Euro 2004. Stick every cent you have on them before the tournament!!!

"

Michael Jackson...

2009-03-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

... has made a comeback of sorts if you haven't heard. He's going to be doing some "final" gigs in London. Started off with 10 dates but they've extended it to next year, I think, since the reception has been very good and also because, well, he's broke.

And according to the Fly FM news, he apparently wants the cast of Harry Potter (ie Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson et al) to be his guests.

Also, heard off Hitz.fm (I drive to Semenyih every day so have plenty of time for the radio), he's planning to adopt, apparently not being content with the 3 children he already has.

Hmm, Michael Jackson interested in kids/teen stars. Yep, makes perfect sense to me. Not insinuating anything like. And in other news, the sky is blue, fire's hot and Josef Fritzl is hunting for a house with a spacious basement.

As "start to the week"s go..

2009-03-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

... I don't think I had a worse one this year.

Allow me to list down all the unfortunate events that happened over the course of the weekend.

In chronological order, they are as follow:

a) United lost.

Thanks for listening.

Re: Dream Relationships.

2009-03-21T00:14:00.000-07:00

Re: This

My subconscious really does have an annoying propensity to spring dream girlfriends on me. And it's cool, you know, if the girl really was imaginary. You can wake up, laugh it off and carry on with your day because you can't really put a name to that face. Basically, she doesn't exist.

Unfortunately for me, when it does happen, it's always with someone I know or have met before. I have to then suffer for the rest of the day as you know how crushes are. They linger on your mind for days.

Needless to say, I'm posting this right now because I just got out of a dream relationship this morning. I actually woke up cursing when I realized it was "just a dream". It's weird, I know! I feel creeped out just typing this! No, it wasn't a wet dream. As described in the first post, it was just innocent, fun stuff. And yes, she is someone I know. Well, kinda, not really, but yeah, in a very loose way, I guess I can say I know her.

It's irrelevant, in any case, because you can swap her with anyone else and I'd probably have woken up feeling the same way.

Anyway, it got me thinking. Is this my mind's way of telling me something? I'm saying this because I actually felt a lot happier when I was in an imaginary relationship than I am in my real-life one! I can't say it surprises me though because my real-life relationship has been going rough for a little while now. Certain circumstances mean that it's still going on. No, she isn't pregnant!

So maybe my subconscious just decided to let me get a "feel" of how much better things can be to prod me on to break things off in real life.....

.
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......or maybe I'm just a lunatic! Be right back. Need a cold shower...

People who should be lined up and shot dead

2009-03-18T05:33:00.000-07:00

1) Drivers who don't indicate when switching lanes.

2) Drivers who don't give way when I indicate.

3) Drivers who don't wave thank you when I give way.

4) Drivers who tail-gate even though traffic is heavy. Hmm, I think there's a trend developing here.

5) People who chew with their mouths open. The noise is incredibly annoying, especially in a quiet room. I got used to chewing with my mouth closed when I was 6. What's your excuse?!

6) Empty vessels. Here's a tip to remember: Don't talk about something you know nothing about. It makes you looks silly. And it annoys me.

7) People who cut lines.

8) People who take Facebook way too seriously. "The layout's changed. OH NOESS!!!111" It's a freaking website. Get over it.

9) People who don't thank you when you hold the door open for them.

10) Football plastic fans. I swear if I see another "MAN U ROXX" or "LOSERFOOL!! LULZ!!"....

11) Attention seekers. Hey, nobody cares..

12) People who take the high ground when faced with a moral question. E.g. "Oh, I think looks doesn't matter, personality is what is important."

You don't really think that. It just seems like the right answer to you. Jog on..

13) People who like Soulja Boy's music.

14) People who use "You don't have to be a rocket scientist to..." It's incredibly unoriginal and boring. I usually disregard the opinion of anyone who includes this used-to-death cliche in their arguments.

If I come across as a miserable git, it's because it's all my pent up frustration over the past year from (having to deal with)/(running into) such people.

If you're one of the people in the list, I apologize for suggesting you should be shot dead. Here, have a picture of a cute, furry creature to lift your spirits:

On the subject of money..

2009-01-13T22:17:00.000-08:00

I came upon a brilliant song in this beginner's piano music book when I started learning a couple of years back. It has a very kiddie melody but it's its lyrics that I want to talk about.

The name of the song is called "Money Isn't Everything". It's true. It's a line we hear everyone bring up all the time, whilst acting all self-righteous. Money isn't everything. I thought the same way too for a while until I read the following:

"
Money isn't everything,
Money can't make you a king,
Money cannot bring success,
Money can't buy happiness.

But of one thing I am sure,
Money doesn't make you poor,
Money doesn't make you sad,
Money can't be all that bad!

"

Truer words have never been spoken..

My Job >>>>> Yours, to be fair..

2009-01-08T02:36:00.000-08:00

You:

Really? Pfft, I really don't think so. I get paid everyday to sort out my client's accounts/invest some other rich guy's money/work some machinery in the factory/do some sales/"market" my company's product/etc. and I think it's a highly rewarding experience.

What do you do that is so great? Find cures for cancer?

Me:

Why, yes, that's what i do actually...

I Have Always Hated..

2009-01-04T00:45:00.000-08:00

.. chemistry with a passion. It stemmed from my disinterest of the subject during my SPM days and the disgust grew throughout the years as I forgot whatever good that it offered then and only the bad memories remained. The subject comes third on my list of things I despise behind self-given English names and fat pork in Bak Kut Teh.

I made it a point to not take Chemistry during A-levels and did not regret my decision one bit as I watched my friends toil through the lab sessions and open book exams. During my undergraduate years, I was absolutely horrified to find some chemistry-esque chapters in Thermodynamics. Only 3 months ago, just the very thought of the table of elements nauseates me.

Just as well then that at this very moment, I'm sitting here typing this with an SPM Chemistry reference book I borrowed off my sister in front of me; about to brush off the cobwebs and shake the rust off my Chem knowledge as I'm doing my PhD on a project that involves the study of homogeneous reactions under the effect of ultrasound waves. In a word, sonochemistry.

And, wait for it, I think I'm actually starting to like this shit.

You win, Universe, you win...

It's A Cliche For A Reason..

2008-10-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

"Never say never"

One of the most used to death sayings I have ever heard yet it rings so true right now.

Back in May, when I submitted my examination answer sheet for the last time, I never thought I'd be going back to " Nottingham Semenyih" again. I never had an affinity to the place. I never had a sense of belonging. I couldn't wait to get out of there. I was offered a chance to do a PhD by my project supervisor. I entertained him for a bit then rejected the proposal politely. I was convinced I wasn't going to spend 3 years studying again after close to 14 years of academic nightmares. Especially not in Semenyih, the Hell on Earth if there ever was one.

So it makes perfect sense that in about a week from now, I'll be spending another 3 years of my miserable life there doing my PhD. Life just has a way of making you look stupid.

6 months ago, I was telling everyone and anyone who would listen that I was going to get a job, climb the ladder, go for an MBA, make it big, strike gold, hit a seven figure annual income, throw it all into a sure-fire investment plan, retire early, get an executive box at Old Trafford, and party until it's time to go.

The main problem with that plan was the first step, getting a job. Somehow, what should seem like a fairly painless process became very complicated. Partly because I had a look at the job market and I really didn't know what the heck I was going to do!

A look at some of the options:

Industrial Engineer, Applications Engineer, the general Mechanical Engineer etc; all either have job scopes of a glorified technician or involve procurement of materials which can get incredibly boring. That's the reality of being a mechanical engineering graduate in Malaysia. The glamorous machinery design jobs are close to non-existent here.

Investment banking is not my thing either, and the newspapers would have you believe that it's suicide to go into that line in the current economic climate. Sales and event management is definitely out of the question as well. I had an eye on management consultancy for a while but it's ridiculously difficult to get into and I have a hunch it isn't as glamorous as it's made out to be anyway.

I'm not thick. Of course, I realize that I'm way too picky for a fresh graduate, not a very stellar one at that. It's just that I became so confused as to what my path ahead should be. I was too afraid of taking the wrong step. I was petrified of becoming mediocre. More importantly, deep down, I know I just do not have an interest for the aforementioned professions.

It's arguable that I'm judging my interest on something I haven't even tried. Again, I was afraid of taking the plunge and then realizing it was a big waste of time. The ironic thing was, my indecision in itself became a huge time-waster.

And so, in the end, I decided to do a PhD. I'm not doing this without having put some thought into it though. I am aware that it's not a ticket to the big time. I know that I risk being overqualified when I go into the "real world". I know it can be a very frustrating and demanding course.

The ultimate factor that convinced me to go down this route was that of all the options that was laid out before me, this was the one that I truly felt I could "love", that would be worth investing my time on. To sensationalize it a little, it does offer an opportunity to make a meaningful contribution to the world, doesn't it? In 3.5 years, I could either be feeling miserable working a 9-to-5 job or I could be feeling miserable trying to make an important scientific discovery. Not saying that I would, just saying that I could.

And from then on? Well, I want to give management consulting a shot, assuming I am deemed worthy of joining the snobbish elites. Another option is to go into academia and continue any research work that was done during the PhD course. We'll see where this leads to. I'm definitely not ruling anything out though. The past 6 months have taught me better!

Maybe We're Trying, Trying Too Haaaard....

2008-06-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

There's this song that is on rotation on Hitz.fm that I've been tapping my feet to. It's a very Snow Patrol type song called "Empty". Snow Patrol songs all have these certain progression to them. The songs starts slow and builds up to a huge climax, complete with strings and high pitch vocals. And you know what, I'm a sucker for formulaic feel-good songs.

So yeah, I've been strumming my guitar to the song and attempting to sing it and I have to admit it's a really catchy song.

I never really got the full lyrics sheet though and since I don't know the band that sings the song, I turned to my trusty friend, Google for some answers.

Imagine my horror when I found out which band actually plays the song.

The Click Five!! Oh, the humanity! The Click Five?! I've been singing to a song by The Click "pop band, fake rock stars wannabe, emo teenagers' poster boys" Five?!

It's like beating off to a topless chick only to find out it's a dude! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to lie down for a while...

.

.............................

2008-03-25T05:29:00.002-07:00

It was Friday the 13th, July 2007. I never believed in superstitions and I saw no reason to this time. She would pull through, just like she's done countless times in the past. Right?

I was in Penang at the time, working for one of Castrol's roadshows in one of the malls. On the way to Penang the day before, I stumbled into my cousins at one of the rest stops. They told me they were going to visit my grandmother at the Ipoh Hospital.

You should, I told them, we visited her last week and she was very frail. I told them I wasn't going this time because I had to work. They told me I should go. It was different this time. She was very sick.

It never really occured to me how serious "very sick" actually was until that night, my mother told me that the doctor said she is in very serious condition and I should make preparations to go to Ipoh if needs be. It's going to sound sickening and to be very frank, I have never forgiven myself for this but I was actually very pissed off upon hearing that.

I couldn't possibly go off then. I have already promised the organizers that I would be working there. It's RM220 a day! Heck, I already was in Penang. I have obligations to fulfil. And I was right, I did. And it had nothing whatsoever to do with promoting engine lubricants.

The next morning, while the team and I were at the mall, just an hour before the event started, my mother rang. I knew immediately what she was going to say. Her voice was shaking as she said, and I remember the tone of every single syllable even until today, " Chee Meng, ah ma isn't going to make it. You have to come now."

All the frustrations of having to walk off a job just washed away then. I knew what had to be done and I let the organizers know what was going on. My agent wasn't so forgiving. She was pissed that I had to go at the eleventh hour. The old "grandmother is sick" excuse. I would have laughed out loud if the pain wasn't so real.

My cousin's girlfriend who was in Penang drove to the mall to pick me up and we sped down the highway to Ipoh as fast as we could. Even then, the mood in the car was light. I was almost expectant that she would pull through. Just like she always does. Just like my grandfather did.

I never got to say goodbye. It was very cruel and it hurt so bad. My cousin rang his girlfriend and she passed the phone to me. "Chee Meng, ah ma's gone," as he burst into tears, he couldn't compose himself to string words together. "Come quickly, okay?" was the last phrase he could choke out before he hung up.

I was in shock, but only for a few seconds, and then I wept and I never stopped until I reached the hospital. The pain was so intense. I have never experienced a death of a closed one until then but on hindsight, that was not the real reason I cried.

We were so close when I was young. She used to come over from Perak all the time. She loved Bollywood movies and I watched them with her. It was the only time I would sit down and watch a Hindi movie. She would sit me on her lap and just tell me about everything, about my dad, about her, everything and anything. Laughters all round.

Raking a big piece of fish off its bones and landing it on my plate. "Ewww, ah ma, got your saliva," I would tell her. She has that laugh that is just so cheerful. And she had the tendency to speak to me in Teochew, a dialect I don't understand, and I would just nod knowingly as if I understood every word. Even only recently, I remember very distinctly her happy face as she teased ,"Where's your girlfriend? Never bring her to see me?"

We were so close then and when she passed away, it really hit me. How did I allow us to drift apart so much? Even when I was in Perak, as I grew up, family gradually came second behind studies, friends and games. I rarely spoke to her when I went back, besides the routine greetings and the "Have you eaten?"'s.

And that was why I cried. I was frustrated. I was so stupid. I spent a lot less time with my extended family as I grew up, distancing myself from them even. I hated going back. It was boring. I have never had a chat with her in years. Never had a chance to really ask her how was life. And now, I will never get a chance to redeem myself. She's gone. That was why I cried.

This post had been sitting in the drafts folder for months now. I could never bring myself to finish it. I would break down every time. I hated myself. I hate myself. Very much. For being angry at having to leave a lousy job to see her. As a direct consequence, I never got to say goodbye. I never got to see her one last time. Never got to hold her hand while she was still breathing. Never had the chance to say ,"Ah ma, please don't go. I love you." Because I was in Penang, hundreds of kilometers away. Promoting engine fucking lubricant.

Life is so fragile and it's very, very unforgiving. After my grandmother's passing, I started to look around more. I started to see the wrinkles on my parents face and my father's whitening moustache. I tried to spend more time with my grandfather. Everyone has to go some time, you always hear, but it didn't lessen the pain one bit. My resolution for 2008 is to devote more time to family. I am very determined not to make the same mistake again.

But nothing I can do from now on will ever bring her back. I heard my maternal grandmother speak of her a few weeks back about the time they went to China together. She had a lot of fun. She told my maternal grandmother she may not be able to go out as often anymore because of her health. That was her last overseas trip, my maternal grandmother told me, as she passed away soon after.

I dreamt of her numerous times after she passed away, and each time my subconscious reaction was to hug her and cry uncontrollably and tell her I am sorry for not spending enough time with her. I would wake up and feel destroyed. I see my family members going about their lives like they've moved on but truth be told, I never did. I think of her constantly.

Ah Ma, if you're reading this right now, wherever you are, I just want to say that I am sorry and I miss you so much. So so much and this is the truth, I would give anything just to see and hold you again. I love you.

CM: March 25, 2008.

Here's a Suggestion...

2008-03-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

..... Look out the window or just stare into space.

Take a deep breath. Think of nothing else but of the air filling up your lungs.

Exhale.

Yeah, I know. Life is good, right?

It's 1.20 AM and...

2008-03-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

.... I am so bored!!!!!!!!

Final year thesis is neither here nor there. Old friends are still overseas. Most of my friends that I know here are in Semenyih. Australian friends have all gone back (you all know who you are!).

It's the peak period now. Courseworks are piling up, deadlines are looming. It's going to be work, work, work till May. For now, however, I need a spark in my life. Something. Anything.

Winning a lottery, meeting someone new, a breakthrough in my assignment, a car accident, discovering a new place to eat, getting caught in the middle of a gang fight, meeting a celebrity, saving a baby from a burning building, stumbling into a long lost friend, finding an envelope filled with cash, finding an envelope filled with Chinese talismans, getting chased by a dog, chasing a dog, getting struck by lightning, a paper cut, falling down the stairs, getting shot in the ass, helping an old lady cross the road, helping the chicken cross the road, bitten by a radioactive spider, whatever!!

Just make something happen to break the monotony. The routine is killing me!!!

The Stupids

2008-03-01T03:26:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty indifferent about the general elections that's been going on around here for a while now. Whatever you may want to say about standing up and being counted, there is no hope for the opposition as the Barisan Nasional is just too strong in Malaysia.

Of course it has to do with them having total control over the media. I tend to avoid reading The Star these days as it just loves sucking the BN's dick. They would occasionally put a DAP or Keadilan picture in there just to prove their "impartiality" but their coverage is 90% BN and every bit of news is spun in BN's favour.

It is my belief that the majority of people in this world is stupid. Wake up people and stop buying into the BN propaganda bullshit the media is feeding you! I saw a BN advertisement today in the papers and it screams: 2300 Chinese awarded JPA scholarships, up from only 100 awarded in 1998. I sigh and shook my head as I wonder how many more stupids bought into this rubbish.

Is that so, MCA? Care to then show us the percentage of Chinese who were actually awarded JPA scholarships? Expanding on the stupids, people were getting worked up about how there were more road fatalities on our roads than American soldiers dying in Iraq hence the ridiculous assumption that driving in Malaysia is actually more dangerous than fighting a war!

6 000 road fatalites were recorded last year compared to the 4 000 American soldiers who died in Iraq since the war started. By Christ, they're right!! Our roads ARE akin to war zones! Stay at home, everyone! Burn the cars, get the bicycles out!

Unless you see past the bullshit and realize that there are actually millions of road users in Malaysia so assuming everyone's driving competency is the same, your chance of kicking the bucket on Malaysian roads is a mere 0.6%. This is compared to the 13% death rate of American soldiers.

The lack of reasoning ability though had stupids flooding the mail section of The Star lamenting the state of road safety in Malaysia, and nearly all bringing up the lame Iraqi war comparison. It is then when I sit and wonder how badly our public education system has failed these people.

Reading the mail section of The Star always makes me cringe. Like in the recent Health Minister sex scandal, where the poor guy was caught on camera with his pants down. Dr. Chua then cleverly launched a preemptive strike by coming out in the open and admitting it was him before the media found out who it was and shedding crocodile tears as he cleared his desk after resigning.

Dear God, what a brave, brave soul. Who would dare to put oneself in such a vulnerable position and admit his wrongdoings? So courageous! I love you, Dr. Chua! After the heavy media work done outside, you can almost imagine him closing the doors behind him and giving his PR adviser a high-five. My job here is done, nodded the spin doctor as he swirled the glass of martini in his hand before downing it in one go.

The rise in petrol prices is another case in point. Everyone is getting mad over the increasing price of fuel in Malaysia, blaming the government and all that. Fact is, world fuel prices are rising faster than a man's dick upon seeing a naked Scarlett Johannson, hitting $100 per barrel at one point. There is no way our funds can sustain the fuel subsidy for long.

We should accept that eventually, the subsidy will go. What we shouldn't accept however is the blatant wastage of government funds and the corruption that is going on. RM5000 for a set of screwdrivers? They're not even bothering to do it sneakily anymore! We should be getting pissed off at the wastage of the money saved from cutting down on fuel subsidy rather than the cutting of fuel subsidy itself. It's a very obvious case of misdirected anger.

I can go on and on about how some people follow the media's every word like sheep and are unable to think for themselves but I would go on forever . You have to take in what you hear and scrutinize it and turn it inside out before choosing whether to believe it. Unfortunately, not everyone does it often enough and I would have almost felt sad if their "humble opinions" weren't so funny!!

Just Got My Exam Results..

2008-02-22T05:38:00.000-08:00

"I mean, think about it, in the grand scheme of life, how fucking significant is...."

Crap, it's not working. I still feel like I got run over by a truck.

Really, I Mean, Seriously. Think About It.

2008-01-18T20:52:00.000-08:00

Are you feeling the blues? If so, I have just the thing for you. It's a little trick that I've always used when something goes wrong for me and it works every time. Consider this a little belated Christmas present from me.

Whenever you're feeling sad or disappointed about something. Repeat the following passage and let your imagination run loose a little.

"

Picture this. You and me, the humans and thousands of other species. The mountains and the tropical forests. The deserts and the sea. Oh, and don't forget about the deep ocean creatures. Ahh yes the deep sea, still very uncharted and unexplored. The giant squid and the weird glowing fish. All these wonders and mystery, and we are only talking about planet Earth.

Of course, tiny little Earth. Third Planet from the Sun. Of which, there are 9 (supposedly 10 now) other planets orbiting around that giant ball of fire. Think about the Milky Way and the Solar System and the nine planets. Jupiter, biggest planet of the system. Pluto, "Is it or is it not a planet?" is the debate that is raging on right now.

And this is only our galaxy. There are countless more galaxies in our universe and still it is not stagnant as the universe is constantly expanding.

All the galaxies and the planets. The comets and the asteroid belts. The birth of a star and the death of one. Black holes. Is there life out there? Will we find them? Will they find us? What about Earth? Will the human race eventually be extinct? Will we be submerged in water eventually as a result of the melting of the ice-caps? Or will we just save Mother Nature all the trouble and just blow each other up? Over-population? It's a very real problem, no doubt. I might not live long enough to see all this unfold though. I'd like to think of it as a blessing rather than a curse.

Which sets this one up real nicely. Really, I mean seriously, think about this, in the grand scheme of life, amidst ALL of this, really, friend, how fucking significant do you think *sniggers* a bloody assignment deadline is? *sniggers*

I mean, seriously.

"

Mind-Posting?

2007-12-31T20:07:00.000-08:00

My New Year's wish for 2008 is that Blogger can incorporate a chip into my brain so that I can publish new posts off the top of my head because it's getting really annoying. I know what I want to say, I have the basic idea of what is going to be said but I just cannot be arsed to sit down and type it out.

Yes, I am aware that should such a thing miraculously appear, there is going to be a huge risk of me publishing stuff that I don't want to be published. That would mean having to stay 100% focused while "mind-typing". Something I can never do.

Kinda like:

" Malaysians can be so inefficient. Why can't the cashier just hurry the fuck up? I mean, if I see one more incompetent fool manning the counter, I'll...... ooo, nice buns!... Err, I mean, erm, check out those, erm, pastries at the bakery, yeah, err, heh, hehe, at's right"

What the heck, let's just assume there is such a thing as "mind-posting". Looks like fun, I think I'll give it a go to see if such an invention can be put to practical use. I will now type off the top of my head, and it will be completely unedited. Hopefully, nothing will go wrong.

What Goes On In CM's Head During A Regular Post, Unedited:

New Year's resolutions. Forget the celebrity spout bullshit about there being no such things as New Year's resolutions. There is such a thing, I believe. Or at least I think so. Bah, regardless, here are my resolutions for the year 2008. Woohooo! I love 2008. Wait, Gah!

I, erm, I will try to be more punctual in 2008, in the new year. I......... Right now, the only... I...Damn it..... I ..... Okay, I got it.... erm... Right........Gah!!! Okay, steady... Clear, crisp, sentences.. Crisp sentences?! Mmmmmm.. crisps....

Darn it... Argh!! Okay, one more try, one more try....

Okay, I hate non-punctual people. I really do. I can't stand it when people set a time to meet up and then arrive 20 minutes late, especially if it's work-related. But, to lambast them for it would be hypocritical because I tend to be late myself. So there, I want to try to be early or on time in the near future, in the, next year, so I can finally be self-righteous, is that the right word? hmmm, bah, I say bah a lot in my head, funny, I never liked the usage of the word.

Okay, what I mean is I want to... I would like to.. I will, yeah, will's the word, be more punctual, repetitive, that's bad, you don't, you should never use the same word twice in a paragraph, basic writing mistake. Digressing.... say, digressing is such a, i mean digressing is getting, becoming the new "cool word" to use these days. It's like, I see it in everyone's blog these days.

It used to be "narcissistic" and before that "go figure" was all the rage. Oh well, note to self: do not use the word digress anymore. Okay, what was I saying? Right, erm, I want, I am going to be more punctual, is there such a thing? I think punctual alone will do. Yeah, I will be punctual for every meeting this year so I can finally have the ammunition to blast those who are not.

I did it ! Conveyed what I wanted to say with minimal fuss. Okay, looking back, maybe not. Should I edit it? It does look a little stupid. Very incoherent and lots of straying away from the main topic. Hmmm, very gramatically incorrect as well. And erm, yeah, only 1 resolution? The usual I guess, gain weight, study harder. Oh wait, that would be a half-year resolution since I graduate in June. Or was it May? Should be June, I guess. Hungry...

Yeah, erm, what other resolutions? Can't really think of any. Oh, the celebrations last night was pretty dull. Ended up in Bangsar with the girlfriend at the, this place, Lawn or something. They had fireworks right on top of our head. The morons! We ended up eating fireworks scraps, you know the leftovers, the erm, shit that comes down once the things explode in the air. Yeah, the girl was pretty hot thoooooohhh noo, you did not just say that out loud! Okay, moving on, moving on, moving on...

Hmm, ICE's coming up a few days after noise. Maybe I should study ICE for a couple of days and then do OD.. darn it, okay, focus. New Year's Resolutions. Yeah, honestly cant think of any. United, Cassian, random thoughts, lallaa, omg, hahah, I sound like maniac. And I typo a lot, I mean, I type a lot of wrong stuff, I mean, I am a bad typist, poor Backspace key, poor, poor.

Fuck, it's tiring to type everything you're thinking of when you're so bloody long-winded. I wonder if God has a log of everything we think of. My, that would be a bloody long list. Kinda like that file cabinet in Bruce Almighty. Good Movie. Hah, a black God! Haha! I mean, you racist. Why can't God be black? Shit. Gah!

United game tonight. Sigh. Birmingham is easy game though. Hopefully West Ham can do us a favour. But doubt it, small teams cant summon enough fight to beat 2 big teams in a row. So, can't see it happening. Oh well. Okay, studies, gotta continue studies..

Okay, gotta end this, I wonder if the neighbour's wi-fi is still on. Gonna hate it if I wanna post and the connection's lost. Haha, stealing wireless connection. Stupid router of mine kong already though. Sigh, gotta get a new one. Sien..

Sighh, back to studies, I guess. Exam's coming. And mind-posting doesn't work. Makes my posts look like Ama........ phew!!! Just about held it in! Thank God for that! Am.. A.. Gahhh!!! Stop thinking of that name!! Gahhh!!!!!!!!!!! Must post now before damage is done....

Oh, and Happy New Year, guys..

Hypothetical Question of the Week

2007-12-13T05:22:00.000-08:00

You are 40 years old and have worked very hard to reach where you are in life. For some reason unexplainable, you decided to liquidate all your assets and then proceed to withdraw your life savings, every single cent of it, from the bank.

Now you went to withdraw it with your mother, and just before she was able to step into the car, two robbers (or more, its pretty irrelevant) grab her, put a gun to her head and ask you to hand over everything.

Unbeknownst to them however, your mother has a fatal condition and would have died the following day anyway. Hey, I never said this was going to make any sense.

So the obvious question is would you choose to:

A) give them what they want so your mother can live another 15 odd hours

or

B) ignore them. Tough choice but you have half of your life more to go through and hey, it ain't cheap staying alive.

Answers in the comments section please.

Someone Shoot This Moron... and Britney Spears too. Thanks.

2007-12-07T22:37:00.000-08:00

Mainstream hip hop annoys me these days. They all look the same, they rap about the same things and the beats sound the same.

None are more annoying though than this wannabe Soulja Boy, some dude who pronounces "watch" as "war". The fact that this lame song became a hit in the US charts makes me question the musical tastes of people these days.

Here's a clip of the song:

What are the strengths of hip hop? Well, anyone can rap to a good beat so it's definitely the lyrics. So there we go, the lyrics and the flow of the rap coupled with a cool beat is what makes a good hip hop song. Since this song made it to #1 on the billboard Hot 100, it's gotta have some of those right?

Well then, let us sample some of the gems and life lessons this song has to offer:

" Soulja boy off in this hoe
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank that soulja boy
Then super man that hoe...

I'm jocking on your bitch ass
And if we get the fighting
Then I'm cocking on your bitch ass

"

What beautiful poetry! Edgar Allan Poe has nothing on him. I mean rhyming "jocking on your bitch ass" with "cocking on your bitch ass"?! Wow, see what he did there? How the hell did he think of that? I mean just, that's just, just mind numbing!

Which builds up nicely to the 2008 Grammy nominees. How in Vanilla Ice's name did this turd get nominated for "Best Rap Song"? With one foul stroke, the Grammys have lost all their credibility in my eyes.

As a comparison, here's Common's "The People", which was nominated for "Best Rap Solo Performance" but not for the "Best Rap Song" category. It's a really good song, the least you can do is click play:

Of course, even with some really strong lyrics,a smooth flow and a very tight beat, it wasn't good enough to topple the other heavyweights. Heavyweights such as:

Ayo Technology by 50 Cent

and

Big Things Poppin' by T.I.

To put things in perspective, this verse from Common's "The People":

"
This is street ra-dio, for unsung heroes
Ridin in they regal, tryin to stay legal
My daughter found Nemo, I found the new primo
Yeah you know how we do, we do it for the people
And the struggles of the brothas and the folks
With lovers under dope, experiment to discover hopes
Scuffle for notes, the rougher I wrote, times were harder
Went from rocky starter to a voice of a martyr

"

is deemed not good enough to beat the might of

"
She fine as hell, she about the dough
She doing her thing out on the floor
Her money money, she makin' makin'
Look at the way she shakin' shakin'

"

and

"
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Do it [3x] what you waiting for
Now Lemme hear you say
Big shit popping, and little shit stopping [3x]
Ball on these niggas being broke is not an option

"

Well, there's justice for you.

It would have been forgivable if Hitz and Fly Fm didnt feed these lame songs to me everyday. I've to remind myself to get me an FM transmitter for the Nano.

To end this little outburst, here's an open letter to the talented and distinguished Soulja Boy which properly encapsulates my thoughts about him:

.
.
.
.

Dear Soulja Boy,

Die.

Love,
CM

The Mysteries of "Feel Good" factors

2007-11-23T04:20:00.000-08:00

I am done being the nice, patient guy who's always willing to wait "5 more minutes" and give a friendly "it's okay" when someone apologizes for the 10th time.

The next time a person's actions, or lack of, annoys you and you go on to confront him/her, the likely scenario would unfold:

Knowing the mistake of his/her deeds, said offender would then proceed to explain the situation with a nervous smile thrown in. The smile is of course meant to provoke one out of you as well, in an attempt to lighten up the situation.

What do you do in this case?

(a) Smile back. Lighten up, man.

(b) Shoot the whole thing down with a cold stare, and when the tool with a Cheshire smile is done talking, cap it off with a very unimpressed "and?".

If you chose (a), well done. Now put on your tutu. Your ballet teacher is waiting, you pussy.

(b) would put you in a far more dominant position in a stand-off.

A smile is a show of weakness. Be it in a restaurant with customer service so poor, they put the government departments to shame or a project group member who just can't be arsed, never let him/her feel you're soft and can be messed around with.

If there's something I can't stand, it's a smile in the midst of incompetence.

Last week, I was sat at a restaurant and waited 45 minutes for a take-away dinner. Patrons who came in 10 minutes later than me were already tucking in to their meal. The waiter then came up to me, not for the first time, and said it would be ready in 5 minutes (which you know will be way longer than that), with that fucking smile on his face.

So did I smile back? Did I balls! If you want to make me feel better, get me something to read or at least pour me a fucking glass of tea. What in Miranda Priestly's name am I supposed to do with your pathetic, insincere apology?

I had to watch people who came in way later than me gleefully helping themselves to that plate of sweet and sour pork, while I starve away and you expect me to make you feel better with a "no problem, champ" and send you back to your conversation with that cashier you're obviously hitting on?

Please, don't insult me by smiling when you're apologizing. Don't give me the remotest hint that you're happy about it. I would be more than happy to wipe it off your face. Unless you're bigger than I am, in which case, I'll be the bigger man and let you off.

Trust me, try it the next time. It's liberating. Really, think about it. You are gonna have a period of awkward silence where you'd be as cool as the Ice Queen (there's gotta be a more male-friendly simile) and another plank just stood there, smiling at you. That trick there really does their head in!

There, I've said it, being an uptight bastard makes me feel good. Now, get me my sandwich, you ho! And I'd better not see any saliva in there again!

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

2007-11-09T03:49:00.001-08:00

Every man who has ever run a business ultimately has a wish and that is for his legacy to be able to be passed down to an heir of his own flesh and blood, and I suspect my father is no different, though to label his venture now an empire would be a bit of an exaggeration.

What he does actually is run a mobile phone/electronics retail chain, and I've been trying to keep it a secret from new found friends just to stop being bothered about discounts. However, since there are only a pathetic (the numbers, not the people!) handful who actually reads what I have to say here, I'll just keep it going for the sake of having a good rant.

My dad has always wanted me to be involved in his setup. Most of my cousins are already part of his workforce, regional leaders etc. During my high-school/early college days, he would get me to help out at one of his outlets throughout my holiday breaks.

After a couple of years, however, I realized that what I was doing was pointless, simply because the staff wouldn't order me around because I was my father's son! I could turn up late for work, laze around and get away with it. It just did not feel right.

Which is why, to get a better idea of what working actually means, I started looking for other jobs and what I gained from it vindicated my decision. From the roadshows and events I worked at, I was able to study the man-management that the event co-ordinators demonstrated, or lack thereof, and their ability to make split-second decisions when something goes wrong.

When I worked at the Levi Strauss head office as a temp last year, I was very impressed with the lady boss, the way she handled the staff, kept them focused and just the way she got things done. Very well run place, in my opinion. The way she lambasted one of her colleagues from another department over the phone for his incompetence sticks in mind. No quarters given, none asked.

She understood that I was new there, and so when I made mistakes, and I did make some pretty big ones, she wouldn't roast me and hang me out to dry. And even though I was unfamiliar with how things worked, she never doubted my ability to accomplish tasks. She would entrust me, a temp, with responsibilities, and that really made me feel like I was part of the team. You could see her leadership shine through.

These are small but handy lessons I wouldn't have garnered working at a mobile phone outlet in Low Yat Plaza!

I am not saying working for my father didn't help me at all because that would be a lie. I did learn a lot during my time there but there was only so much I could gain as a salesman, for want of a better word, before I felt there was so much more out there.

Thus, I was always the black sheep of the extended family. My cousins would always ask me why I did not want to help my father out with his business. They would tell me there is so much to learn from him, how he is a great mentor, and I do not doubt that. I just feel now is not the right time.

I sensed that I am always seen by them as a lucky and spoilt kid who would rather work for someone else for a higher salary than help his old man out and they are entitled to their opinion. I do not begrudge them for it because it does seem that way from a certain point of view.

Recently, my father decided to be a 018 partner since it's a newly launched mobile network from Mitv, and apparently, there is money to be had. However, because his company is already a Maxis partner, he couldn't take up the offer with his present company and so, he decided to set up a new one.

He asked me for my IC number to register the company and got me some registration forms to sign. At first, I thought I was supposed to be a sleeping partner of sorts, but as time progressed, it became clear to me what he was trying to do. He was trying to ease me into helping him out, or at least that is what I thought.

He would sometimes hint to me that I should help run the company during my free time, reminding me that the company is registered under my name. It looked very likely that he wanted me to become more hands-on with the establishment after my graduation.

Of course, all this might not be true. I might have been a little bit too sensitive. He came back today however, with a stack of name cards with my name printed on them. My title? Business development manager.

If it's true that he does intend for me to run the company, with his guidance of course, when I finish my studies next year, then I am sorry, I am really not interested. With all due respect, I did not toil through 3 years of engineering studies to run some mobile phone outlets.

Granted his business is growing, over 30 outlets nationwide is pretty impressive, and I am not saying the place is not big enough for me, neither am I saying he's not good enough. He has a lot of experience and would make a very fine boss, and I am not saying that because he's my father. Even his friends, who are also bosses in their own right, would tell me that he is a very intelligent businessman and well, they had no reason to lie.

However, what I really want is to become my own man.

What irked me was that he never consulted me about any of these things, the setting up of the company, if I wanted to help him out and all that. It's almost like he expects me to just get on with it. Why am I still doing my course then? I could have dropped out 4 years ago, grab one of the outlets to manage and be on my way. Or I would have done a business course instead, which would be the more appropriate route.

Truth is, I may not make it on my own when I graduate. There are no guarantees in life. Engineering may not work out for me. I would, however, like to at least give it a shot. It would certainly be more exciting, finding out if I have what it takes to make it at a big company than having my road mapped out like that.

I know that he won't force me to do anything but the way this has panned out is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Having a company registered under my name and being hinted that I should ditch all my ambitions to run it is a burden on my mind. He would certainly take this as a case of me not caring about the family, but it's something I can't really help.

What if, god forbid, his business doesn't work out? I would be in my mid 20's or early 30's and it would be difficult for me to get my career back on track. In time, regardless of how well the business is going, I would love to go back and work with my dad as a team. As the tone of this post suggests, however, now is definitely not the time.

I have seen a lot of friends and acquaintances start up their own business at their early 20's and a majority of them would fail or struggle badly, simply because they have neither the experience nor the bottle yet. They go up too fast, too soon. Way too immature and impatient.

Obviously, I would have my father's advice and he would be the real person running the show. I don't think he is daft enough to leave a company to the devices of his barely legal son. Still, let's be honest, nobody, and I mean nobody, not your partner, not your subordinate, is going to respect a 21 year old "manager".

At this point, I would have nothing to offer to the company. Just another smart ass who got there because daddy's the boss. I think it's pretty obvious I do not want to get up there this way. Also, again with all due respect, this isn't much of an "up there" now is it?

It would just be way too easy. I want a real challenge. I want to prove my mettle, test my limits, see what I can really reap with my own hands. I want to graduate, go out there, and conquer the damned ladder on my own. I have my own aspirations to fulfill, my goals to achieve, and if that means falling hard on my arse, then so be it. I truly believe I would come out of it a better man.

You call it naivety. I call it ambition.

Pimp My Childhood Cartoon Characters

2007-11-01T07:41:00.000-07:00

What. The. Fuck.

Leave Me Alone!!!

2007-10-29T04:02:00.000-07:00

You went out with this girl and you had a great time. The conversations were flowing and there were laughters all round. You find yourself really clicking with her, she's funny and not bad in the looks department too.

You start to have a crush on her, so you gathered the courage to ask her out and she reciprocated. You're the happiest person on the planet. There is a sudden surge of joy and delectation.

You did couples stuff together, no, not that kind, the innocent but fun bits like watching a movie and holding hands. She's everything you'd hoped for in a girlfriend. Nothing could possibly go wrong...

...until suddenly....

.
.
.
.
.
.
You wake up!!

!@#!@$!@$!111123124

That's when the big reality train hits you. You're still you, that relationship was non-existent but sweet Jesus, the crush and the happy memories are still there! Cue the frantic struggle to not slip into full consciousness just yet as you try to force yourself back to sleep. Often it works, but when it doesn't, my, you really do feel like you got dumped in real life.

It happened to me twice in a week and really, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. That "fucking hell, it was all a dream?!" feeling is akin to winning a lottery ticket only to find out that it was all just a sick prank from your family. Search that one up on youtube by the way, funny shit right there.

The trouble is, both of the girls are people I know in real life, no, I am not saying who because quite frankly, if someone dreamt that they were together with me, I'd freak out big time.

So what's the problem? Well, because I had a crush on them in my dreams, it kind of transferred into real life! So yes, I had a mini crush on these two real life girls (and am still having one now, in fact!) because of their actions in my dreams. I was like, fucking get off me!

Okay for the sake of progressing this story, one of them is an ex-girlfriend and one is a pretty close friend. What that means is, for the first few days of last week, I kinda had feelings for my ex all over again and a few days later, had a crush on one of my platonic friends! Where's the straitjacket?!

I can't even look at these two girls the same way anymore because I keep thinking about the stupid dreams! Can you believe how ridiculous this sounds?

Is there such thing as a Dream God because if there is, may his arse be infested by a thousand desert fleas and may his arms grow too short to scratch them!

Right now, I am just trying to wait for the second crush to wear off kinda like how the first one did but God damn it, it was so good while it lasted. Can you imagine how weird this is? Ahh, how I miss the non-existent good old days. Damn, I really loved those imaginary happy times..

Oh dream girl, I hardly knew ye..

P/S: this doesn't count as cheating on my girlfriend as it's not as if I had any real say over this.

How to Ruin Your Jokes..

2007-10-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

Jokes are great. Making people laugh always make you feel all warm inside. That is why we always have our pocket jokes handy, ready to spring them on our unsuspecting audience when the opportunity presents itself.

Cue the roar of laughter as you then proceed to perhaps unwisely, milk it for all it's worth, by repeating the joke again and again or elaborate on it. For example:

*First wave of laughter*

"What? It's true. (repeat joke, this time with hand movements)"

*Second wave of weaker laughters spliced with some leftovers from the first wave*

"Hahaha! It was so funny. the (insert punchline of the joke) and all"

*First wave of chuckles*

"Hahaha! (repeat hand movements this time with voiced special effects)"

*First wave of raised eyebrows"

"Yeah, like I was telling her, why didn't (proceed to dissect the joke)?"

*First wave of nodding heads and some smiles*

"And why didn't, (insert interruption by another bored party)"

I am no George Carlin when it comes to jokes and there's nothing I love more than a hearty ha-ha but people tend to ruin something that's funny by exhausting it sometimes. Take your bow and move on, please.

Also, laughter's the best medicine and all that shit, but if I were given a punch in the rib every time I hear someone spring these 99-cent jokes on me, I'd already be lying in a coffin:

"People have 6-packs, he has a 1-pack!"

"Going to Karaoke? Haha, later all the glasses break wan then you know hor"

"Wahh, so horrijiber the accident. Mercedes also become Kancil, you know!"

"Har? She drive ar? Got buy insurance or not?"

All these are normally followed by some self-indulgent laughter, and also a smug grin on said person's face for thinking he/she just pulled out a comic's equivalent of a rabbit from a hat. You will laugh along because it might be a little funny to you, but deep down you know that that joke has been recycled so many times, Al Gore has it in his trophy room.

You know what else is un-funny? Me not knowing how to finish this post under pressure because I have to get off this laptop to watch the United game which starts in 5 minutes and I can't be arsed to continue this later so I am ending this post in an abrupt manner and making this paragraph as long as possible so you would most likely skip this as people's idea of "speed-reading" these days is to ignore lengthy paragraphs that they feel is "difficult" to read thereby wasting all of the author's good work and effort put into it, and I also have to remind myself to stop using "text air-quotes" in my posts as air-quotes are really very lame.

So there.

I Bet "Shite Hair-styles" Came Out Of Pandora's Box As Well..

2007-10-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

If I decide to climb a mountain one day in search of a wise sage, I'll remind myself to ask him:

"Does anyone ever feel good after a haircut?!"

And then, he'll scratch his head and stroke his beard, before replying:

"Yes, the salon owner"

I don't get it. I've been through this ordeal over and over again in my short 20 years of life. Each time, I'll step into the salon with a pretty clear idea of how I want my hair done and every time, without fail, I'll come out with something entirely different.

The problem lies, very clearly, with the hairstylist. Duh Sherlock, who else? Yeah, but hear me out.

I've come to notice that hairstylists deal with extremes. There just isn't an in-between. Take for instance, what happened today.

Lady Hairstylist : How would you like the sides? Shall we leave it long?

Me : Hmm, no. I want the ears to be seen but I don't want it too short.

Lady Hairstylist : Okay.

.... and she proceeds to cut it school-boy style!! You know, the one where they cut behind your ears and totally pulverize your sideburns, leaving you looking like an overgrown Form 5 student? Yeah, that one!

Why can't she just cut the damned thing "a little bit"? You know, short but not non-existent!

Another beef I have with these Chinese hairstylists is they just love those Dragonball-styled hair. You know the wild, tousled hair look, with ridiculously long sideburns and hair at the back? Yeah, that one.

I personally prefer the David Beckham-centric, westerners type. Clean at the sides and at the back, and a mohawk-ish spike at the top. The only place I could find that does it like this is, yes, in Nottingham,

. At Simmy's right along Victoria Road.

I always make it a point to tell them that. But like I said, these guys deal with extremes, so what is the opposite of the Dragonball look? The nerdy schoolboy look, of course!

You know the worst part about the whole haircut process? The walk of shame back to your car. God loves taking the piss. I can never find a space near the salon. I am always forced to take a nice long walk back to the vehicle with a butt ugly look and having everyone stare and laugh uncontrollably inside.

To be honest though, and I know it's hard to believe after a rant like that, I am not too arsed about my hairstyle, really. I am not the type who spends half an hour in the bathroom trying to make sure that one strand of hair is standing at a correct angle. I just can't bear the thought of paying RM36 to look even worse than when i stepped in to the place!

It's quite a vicious cycle if you think about it. After a bad haircut, you pray for the thing to just grow quickly, and then it becomes too long and you have to get it trimmed again. Getting it right the next time is not an option either. It's an iterative process that never hits the spot.

Still, remember this the next time you get pissed off coming out of a salon:

A bad hair day is better than a no hair day.

Gimme Form 5 cuts over comb-overs any day!

Want, Want, Need, Need, Need, Crave, Crave, Got it, Sien... Repeat..

2007-10-13T00:20:00.000-07:00

I've been looking at my spending habits of late, and I can't help wondering: Why do I always want something new? Obviously, most of the things that I crave aren't necessities. That word is so over-rated by the way, let's face it, the only things we really "need" is food and air. And an iPhone.

Expanding from this topic: The reason why we want something so desperately is in some way related to our spending power. I know it seems very obvious but think about it, do you want a Ferrari? Hell yeah, you do but it's not eating into your very soul and causing you sleepless nights, now is it?

So deduction #1: The closer the item of fancy is to your spending power, the more you want it.

Also, you can try to deny it but peer pressure is also another reason why you want something. Some kid in school has one, and he looks cool using it. All the other kids start having one, and so you want one. I am sorry it sounds loser-ish but it's the law of nature.

Deduction #2 : Cool kids decide what you should buy

Thirdly, killer products. These are items that are so darn awesome during your time, and coupled with deduction #2 means you'd sell your parents if it means you getting one. (CAUTION: might cause financial loss in the long run).

Deduction #3: Steve Jobs decides what you should buy

Utilizing all of the above deductions, I have a compiled a list of things that we used to want, should want and better be wanting in the future. It is by no means comprehensive, and will most likely not stand the test of time but refer to it so you know what it takes to stay within that "it" group:

EVOLUTION OF "WANTS" FOR MALE:

90's era primary school age group (7-12):

Baby-G/G-shock Digital Watch, any bag on wheels, Tamagotchi, Playstation, Pentium 2 PC,

a dial-up connection, Game Boy, Magic: The Gathering booster packs, Bata shoes, Dragonball

comics.

Lower secondary school age group (13-15):

Swatch analog watch, Bodypac, Digimon 5th Generation, Playstation 2, any computer that

fucking runs Starcraft and Counterstrike, Nokia 3310/8210, Hotlink prepaid, Game Boy Colour,

Magic: The Gathering box set, anything related to Pokemon, Converse shoes, a half-decent

haircut, any school trousers other than Professor, a football jersey, a girlfriend.

Upper secondary school age group (16-17):

Guess watch or anything in that price range, Eastpak/Deuter, still waiting on that Playstation 2,

Pentium 4 with Windows XP built-in, Streamyx, Magic: The Gathering box set(s), Nokia 6610,

Sony Ericsson T610, Maxis Postpaid, football jersey(s), driver's license, Proton, girlfriend(s).

College/ Undergraduate/Early Working Age Group (18-25)

Anything but Proton, Tissot/Tag Heuer, Ralph Lauren/AX shirts, Esprit slingbags, Playstation3,

a fucking laptop, Streamyx 1.0Mbps, a decent set of speakers, a nice LCD screen, Magic: The

Gathering? Really?, iPod, iPhone, football jerseys with the names and sleeve badges on, fuck

buddies.

Married Husband Age Group (25-death)

Not available. Refer to wife.

EVOLUTION OF "WANTS" FOR FEMALE:

90's era primary school age group (7-12):

clothes

Lower secondary school age group (13-15):

clothes, make-up, accessories, a boyfriend who is a loser in college but somehow becomes a cool dude in your naive little eyes

Upper secondary school age group (16-17):

clothes, make-up, accessories, a rich boyfriend

College/ Undergraduate/Early Working Age Group (18-25)

clothes, make-up, accesories, a rich boyfriend who doesn't find you annoying and dumps you after he's tired of the sex.

Married Husband Age Group (25-death)

Your husband's balls and his bank account

That is all.

Just a Thought

2007-10-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

It's been a long day and you're looking forward to going home. Traffic's a nightmare however, and you're staring at a 30 minutes wait to cover a 3km stretch of road. While you're grumbling and waiting it out however, a car just whooshes past you on the right side of your lane, meant for cars headed in the opposite direction. The Honda conveniently slips into the queue right at the junction and about 5 minutes of waiting later, he's out of sight.

Meanwhile, because you decide not to abandon your principle and be just another jerk on the road, you're left behind to crawl to your destination, while the Honda is probably already on the highway, whistling his way home.

Your conscience may be clear but god damn it, the traffic's a bitch.

Now pause for a few seconds. Think about what you've just read.

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Still think sucking up to your boss is pathetic?

Wish Light & Easy Plays Modern Hits..

2007-10-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

"Hitz.fm Cares" Ads. About the most unfunny, annoying waste of sound waves to ever reach my ear. No, wait, I take that back. That accolade belongs to Avril's "hit" Girlfriend.

For the clueless, "Hitz.fm Cares" are a series of community message from the station urging us to brush our teeth, clean our toilet, recycle, wash our hands before we eat and keep our children safe from predators.

Nothing wrong there, until they try their darndest to be "funny". They have the most random and lame skits like a guy making very procovative sounds with a rubbing noise in the background to imply that he's masturbating. He ends it with a "ahhhhhh, finally, my toilet is clean". Really? Wow dude, that's comic gold right there! Pfft, lame.

The grammar leaves a lot to be desire as well:

"So remember to wash your hands before you eat, especially if you go to a petting zoo before you eat."

I am a campaigner of "anti fake accents" but there is no reason why the grammar should go out the window as well. It's okay in everyday speech, but I expected better from the media. And they wonder why the English standard in our country is deteriorating.

Oh and they tried to be sombre and moody after what happened to Nurin (Little girl who got abducted and killed). Totally understandable, the big question though, is who writes the script?

It's not exactly like this but it's close:

There was a time when our children can go out and play without fear. There was a time when the killing of an 8 year old is unheard of. Those days are loong gone. Remember to keep your kids under close supervision (....) (with a very sad tone)

I mean, come on, how lame can you get? I understand that you're doing a deed here by reminding the public but that's just a lazy piece of work.

"There was a time when the killing of an 8 year old is unheard of. "

Let's do one where we lament the loss of the good old days. Don't be naive. There was never "the good old days".

Pick up the newspaper. It's "heard of". Rapes and sexual assaults and murders of children have been happening around the world, even in Malaysia, since forever. There are sick people in this world. It's just that it's never been highlighted in the media on such a big scale before.

Also, things aren't as bad as they seem. Kids can still go to playgrounds etc. There isn't a criminal lurking in every single corner. You just have to apply some common sense, like not letting your 8 year old child out to a pasar malam on her own.

Maybe I was being a bit too harsh, but you get the point.

And the quality of the interviews that the radio stations do are embarassing at times. Take for example, this morning, they brought some rugby personality into the studio to talk about rugby and the state of it in Malaysia.

You would think they would have done their homework and took the opportunity to ask some serious or, at the very least, non-stupid questions. Not waste the other party's time and ask questions/make remarks like:

"How long is a game of rugby?"

"Rugby is 80 mins, Football is 90 mins, so rugby is more exciting la?"

"What noises do rugby players make?"

There is funny, and then there is stupid. By not taking your guest seriously when he/she clearly is, you're disrespecting him/her. Comic timing, guys, know when to make your wise-cracks. Then again, perhaps they are dumbing down the whole interview on purpose so as not to sound too serious. I am sure there are ways to do it, though, without making complete fools out of themselves in the process.

Still waiting for satellite radio....

A Very Original Topic

2007-09-12T04:37:00.000-07:00

Look, I know moaning about Malaysians when it comes to etiquette on the road is about as imaginative as complaining about the service you get in government departments (read: it isn't) but it had to be done. After all, passive anger is about as healthy as a large helping of Hokkien Mee with extra pork rind. (read: it isn't too)

To kick things off, how difficult is it for you to signal when you are switching lanes?! I mean, you can reach out to grope your girl's thigh, pick a CD out of your pouch after stretching for it from your glove compartment, do your best impression of an orchestra conductor (with 2 hands!) but still find it too cumbersome to raise a finger and flick on your signal lights!

Which is why, these days, I refuse to allow a vehicle into my lane if said vehicle's signal indicator isn't blinking. There's nothing more annoying than having to hit the brakes after a car just decides to swerve into your lane as if she owns the road. See what I did there? I implied that females are bad drivers. Pretty clever, huh? My sense of humour astounds me sometimes.

Xenon lights. Another one of the devil's creations. I know, your ride will look pimped up and fly with those things on (is that how the cool kids describe it these days?), but show some courtesy and stop blinding, well, just about everyone else on the road!

Since I am on a roll, hey, why not have a go at tail-gating as well? I totally understand if the car in front of you is hogging up the fast lane, but what is the point of tail-gating when the fast lane is crowded? What are you going to do? Tail-gate every last one of them until you get a clear run at the road?

We're all busy people and would love for the fast lane to part for us like the Red Sea, but tail-gating is not only the wrong way to do it, it's dangerous as well. What is the right way, you ask? Why, win an election and start hiring outriders, of course. Because if you're a politician, your time is more important than everyone else's by default. Pricks.

In the Famous Words of Mr.King....

2007-08-14T01:44:00.000-07:00

... why can't we all just get along?

There has been an uproar lately over this song that was written by a Malaysian Chinese by the pseudonym of Namewee entitled "Negarakuku". Here's the video, it's mostly in Mandarin..

After watching the video initially, I thought it was very well thought of and there were a lot of facts in there about the racial bias the government shows. For starters, I am sure we are all very aware of the fact that there is a bumiputra bias towards the intake of students at our local universities.

He also makes a great point about the Tourism Board being so quick to bring up our racial unity and our Chinese culture and heritage when promoting the country overseas. In truth, the government doesn't give two shits about the Chinese education system, for example, many Chinese schools have to survive on their own.

Things got out of hand however, when the media got wind of this video and started reporting it in the newspapers. One thing led to another and suddenly the government decided to stick its noses in.

A look at the Youtube video's comment section reveals a very ugly side of the Malaysian community. Racial slurs and hate speech were flung at each other. Malays telling the Chinese to go back to China and were in turn, branded "pigs".

The fact of the matter is, underneath all the media hype and well-scripted commercials promoting our racial unity, there is a lot of tension between the races in Malaysia. Racial unity? Half truths and whole lies. There are racists everywhere, I've seen and heard a lot of friends mock and slander the Malay race for being corrupt, lazy and inefficient.

I am not excluded. I will not take the moral high ground. I will say, however, that there is no smoke without fire. My sister contracted tuberculosis lately, a very contagious and serious disease. It's a long story but we were made to run around in circles by the government hospitals.

Supposed specialists treated my sister as if she were the plague itself, asking her to stand at a distance and warning her sternly to not cough at them when she hasn't even done a thing! Such was their "fear of dying". None of the two designated hospitals were willing to treat her. We ended up going to a private specialist centre. The doctors and staff in question were Malay.

Another example of the stereotypical Malay inefficiency or simply another example of inefficiency?

We encounter all of this incompetence everyday and because of the many things we heard from people about Malay laziness, we immediately associate them with every single scenario that we stumble upon. Typical Malays, we say.

The racial bias that the government adopt gets on my nerves, to be honest. For them to be preaching racial unity just smacks of irony. Having said that, I harbor no grudges. I have learned to just let it be. Just look in the mirror when you complain about the brain drain because I wouldn't think twice to jump at a better offer from another country if it comes my way.

This is a post about racism, not patriotism. Note the difference.

The realization that I have come upon is this is all irrelevant to me. I've grown out of racism and stereotyping. Just like how not all Chinese are swindlers and arrogant bastards, not all Malays are lazy and inept. So what if they have special privileges, wouldn't surviving without these advantages just reflect better on you?

I REFUSE to break into cliche and turn this post into me preaching about how we must all stick together through thick and thin. Just that we shouldn't stoop down to the lowly levels of racial discrimination and provoke hatred among the community. We should just all live together in peace and harmony. Treat others how you'd want to be treated. Love thy neighb.... damn it, can I start over?

The Walk

2007-06-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

There was a thunder rumbling from the distance as the raindrops started to fall. Surely there wouldn't be a thunderstorm, I thought. I quickened the pace of my footsteps. There has never been heavy rain of any kind since I got here; only gentle drizzles. I got my hoodie out of my bag and wore it over my shirt anyway.

It was a weird day; today was the last day I'd be at my hall before I move out for good. To be honest, I never really thought I'd miss this place as badly as I did. It didn't really impact me that much until the final week when I realized my stay here in England was coming to an end.

Seeing my blockmates leave today and realizing I probably won't be seeing them again felt a bit depressing. Nikki with her witch-like laughter, Anna, my next door neighbour who I never really talk to much to be fair, John, who's probably my best mate at my block, Sam, Charlotte, Peter the fake Korean, Ha Man, Jae Min, Ryan the West Ham supporter, Baz, Natalie and the rest.

Good times, good times but such is life, we all have to move on. There really isn't much choice, or time for that matter, to dwell on it too much. Cliched as it sounds, it's just another chapter in life.

Walking past the Portland Building, I recalled my first week on campus when I was still new to the place and trying to soak in the surroundings. It was funny being a newbie around the place feeling so excited about his one year stay in England and having a long checklist of things to do and places to visit. The campus was really scenic and beautiful but time has a way of making everything seem ordinary after a while.

I suppose being out on my own felt great as well. No hassles from anyone and being free to do whatever I wanted to. Not that my parents had an iron grip over me back home but still, that feeling of freedom is amazing. Even for a year though, I started to realize that the sense of responsibility that automatically comes with that "freedom" makes you grow as a person. It could be an exaggeration but after all that exposure, you definitely come back from your overseas studies a more mature and wiser person.

I'll be going home in about a week's time and I get the feeling I'll look back at my time here a lot. Not just the place but the friends and the company I've had. All the laughters and fun we had is definitely something I'll be reminiscing regularly. All the stupid stuff we did at the bar crawls and parties and our trips.

I'll miss the bad dinners at the halls, the annoying cleaning lady that wakes me up every morning, the missing of lectures, the late night assignment deadline scramble, getting on the bus to go to the city and catching up on Lost, Heroes, Prison Break with my blockmates. All the little things. Strolling down memory lane is a lot of fun.

Dr. Vincent once gave a great advice to me and it was to never let your subconscious mind take control over your life and it rang so true. I've been routinely going to lectures, worrying about assignments and chilling out with my mates to actually stop and digest the experience.

Oh well, time will always move too fast for everyone's liking but I can't say I didn't cherish my time here. Even so, when the time comes to go our separate ways, I still can't help but feel dispirited and depressed.

I had quite a walk yet. I reached into my pocket and started to untangle my ear phones desperately as my Ipod screen started to get blurred out by the drizzle. It took quite a few more tugs at the wires before I finally manage to stick them in my ears. My thumb reached for the play button and the shuffle of songs brought out a familliar tune.

John Mayer's acoustic ballad, "Daughters".

Just like I suspected, and I really didn't want to be proved right on this occasion, the rain started to turn into a heavy downpour. I pulled the hood over my head but that obviously didn't save me from being fully drenched. Not a single thunderstorm in my 9 months here and God decided to take the piss today.

"Just perfect," I smiled.

"Being a Clutch Student" for Dummies

2007-05-24T16:13:00.000-07:00

After racing against time to finish up on my revision for my 2nd year finals, I now consider myself a bit of an expert in the art of last-minute revision. Do not let anyone fool you into thinking it's not the right thing to do.

Naturally, there are perks in doing things at the eleventh-hour, namely, information not having the time to escape you. We all know what it feels like to revise 2 months before the exams and not remembering a thing a week before the papers. You'll be pleased to find out that last-minute revision eliminates that possibility; allowing you to read away without fear.

That's not all, last minute revision also gives you that warm self-satisfaction of knowing that you "could have done a lot better had you not procrastinated", hence, feeling a lot smarter than you really are. Consider it a little mental cushion to fall back on if you bomb your exams badly.

I've picked up a lot of pointers during my past week of speed-scanning module chapters and undergoing the delicate process of trying to master Solid Mechanics III in 2 days. Regarding the latter, I am happy to announce that I think I did myself justice in there. It's a totally different story for Fluid Mech however, but hey you know what, I could have done a lot better had I not procrastinated!

You just have to love the idea of reading up your study materials the night before your exams. That adrenaline rush of knowing you're in deep shit hours before a paper cannot be had anywhere else. This definitely has to be at the top of the list for any thrill-seekers out there.

Any nerdy newbies who are interested in indulging in some procrastination of their own will do well to follow some of the guidelines I am about to recommend. During this 2 week ordeal, I've compiled my very own TOP 5 tips for last-minute revision and midnight-oil burning and they are as follows:

Please, for the love of God:

i) D

ii) O

iii) N

iv) '

v) T

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go sit in a corner and lick my examination wounds.

Reality Check..

2007-05-12T17:16:00.001-07:00

I was just randomly browsing through a couple of my friends' blogs when I stumbled onto Germaine's and saw a picture of her and her friend posing with a gigantic 21st birthday cake.

Then it kinda hit me.

Gosh, I am 20 this year?!?!

It wasn't that long ago when I was called "the 16 year old"!!

4 years just like that. Wow... I mean, just... Wow..

Collection of Ramblings...

2007-05-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

I tried, I really did. I wanted so much to do consecutive posts without bringing up United but unfortunately, since we won the title last week, I have to gloat a bit.

So to all the 19 teams who are busy enjoying the fumes from our exhaust. Up yours, losers!!

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Peas are a bitch. I struggle with them every time they serve those green balls of hell during dinner. I don't hate the taste, they taste like corn to me. But it's so hard to eat them with "grace". Especially with a fork!!

Those things just keep rolling off my fork every time I try to lift them to my mouth and it has to be that precise moment when my mouth is wide open and they're almost there; leaving me hanging with that awkward look on my face while everyone wonders why this guy eats like a 4 year old.

Fuck Peas.

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"Even stopped clocks get it right once or twice in a while."

Stumbled onto this proverb the other day. That has to be one of the more thought-provoking proverbs out there. I like proverbs that force you to think for a while. And by a while, I mean 5 seconds because let's face it, if you need any longer than that, you're retarded.

Of course, the saying basically means even the most derailed fool can say something true every so often. In fact, stopped clocks actually show the right time 2 times a day. Think about it. Good one, huh? It's definitely better than the lazier "duh" type of sayings like:

"All good things must come to an end"

"Action speaks louder than words"

"No man is an island"

"A woman's place is in the home"

So anyway, I had a sudden urge to scour the web for new proverbs but I somehow ended up with these. Here are some funny ones that I found over the internet. Not exactly proverbs per se, but I just wanted to share it:

Simon says stand! Simon says sit! Format drive C:! Ha! Gotcha!

Due to budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

A rock ----> me <---- A hard place A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it. DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"... Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway. Keyboard not connected, press F13 to continue If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep. A cynic smells the flowers and looks for the coffin. Diplomacy is saying: "Nice doggie!"... till you can find a rock. What on earth is a "free gift"? Aren't all gifts free? There are some proverbs I picked up in primary school that I never quite understood over the years. Yes I do realize that after what I said in the first paragraph, I am calling myself a retard. And yes, they make kids memorize shit-loads of proverbs in Sri KL. English lessons used to be a pain in the arse back then. They'd literally give you pages and pages of synonyms, antonyms, homonyms, idioms, similes, past tense, past participle tense, present perfect tense, future tense and expect you to know them by heart. Like come on, how old were we, what, nine?! Psychopath English teachers. Yes you, Mr.Singh, you're a psychopath. Here are some of the proverb that I never quite understood until recently. "A stitch in time saves nine" "Penny wise, pound foolish" "A bird in hand is worth two in the bush" It took me 5 years till I was in Form 2 for me to understand the first one. When I first saw that saying, I was dumbfounded. Stitch time? What, sewing a clock? How will that save anything? Who the hell are the "nine"? Of course, what it means is stitching a hole now will save you 9 stitches in the future but believe me, it wasn't so obvious back then. The second one, I'll hold my hands up and admit, I only found out its figurative meaning just now when I googled it. If ever there is a sentence stripped down to its bare bones, "penny wise, pound foolish" has to be it. How is anyone supposed to understand what you're trying to say when you speak like a Neanderthal?! I mean really, tell me "Penny wise, Pound foolish" doesn't sound like: "Me Org, Org hungry" "Hulk hate, Hulk smash" "Eat chicken, Chicken good" "Fuck you, You bitch" And then there are some that really do your head in. I know the third one means you should accept what you have and not risk it by chasing something better but really, reading this proverb provoked the kind of "What?!" you'll only get from watching the Matrix trilogy. I mean, come on, If a bird in my hand is worth two in the bush, what's stopping me from throwing it into the bush? It just doesn't make sense. I suspect this is some kind of sick joke conjured a long time ago by a philosopher who really detested hand-jobs.

Russell Peters made me do it!

2007-05-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

All of us know who Russell Peters is (right?) and most of us would already have seen his stand up comedy act. I've always found that guy's Chinese impression funny but never truly understood why he made it sound like that simply because I've never actually heard a Chinese speak like that!

That is, until I realized I've never actually heard a Chinese speak.

For the uninitiated, here's the video..

I know, I know, it's a classic. I can never watch this without suffocating from too much laughing. That accent just kills it! No way, who the hell speaks like that?!

So you can almost imagine my situation when I went for a lab one fine day and had a Chinese lab instructor who sounded exactly the same! No, I don't mean his accent bears a passing resemblance to Peters' impression. No, his was a true to the note, totally indistinguishable, audio xerox of Peters' side-splitting parody.

To borrow from Russell Peters: The first time I saw that act, I thought,"Woah! Whoever wrote this is brilliant!" I went to lab today, that's a real language!

What can a poor guy do when he is immediately reminded of all the Russell Peters comedic gems and that Chinese restaurant owner from South Park? He laughs! He was explaining the procedures of the lab and there I was bursting into a maniacal laughter every time he opened his mouth to speak!

You know the feeling when you're trying to hold your laughter in but it kinda "expands" in your chest until you can no longer hold it in? You know the one where your face turns purple and a snort would follow more snorts until you finally break into a fit of sniggers?

Yep, guilty as charged.

What? At least I tried being indirect about it by hiding my grinning smirk behind my lab sheet. That's being very, very merciful, just so you know. Last I checked, proper etiquette for a situation like this is to point a finger straight into the victim's face before letting out a very loud "Ha, Ha!" a la Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons. And an atomic wedgie.

Anyway, I was browsing around Youtube when I stumbled upon this Chinese Restaurant prank. Totally irrelevant but definitely worth checking out. I'm not going to say how the prank works. See it for yourself.

Here's another one about this guy calling a Chinese clock-maker. What's so funny about that? Well, let's just say she has a very unique way of pronouncing "clock". You really have to see this!

Anyway, it became a little too obvious in the end. Being a science man and all, I think his sharp analytical skills would have told him that I was cracking up at his accents. In any case, he should have figured it all out judging from the immaculate timing of my laughters.

Or the fact that I was subtly doing my own City Wok waiter impression to my lab-mates a while later. What? Subtly, guys, subtly...

The Old Trafford Experience

2007-04-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

It's been said and heard of from different sources, but after last night, I can say it for certain. There is no match in any other competition that can match a Champions League night at Old Trafford, home of Manchester United.

I was lucky as heck to be able to get my hands on a ticket for the Milan match which means I'd be watching the match alone. That's right, all by myself. Do I mind travelling on my own to Manchester to watch a football match? Do I balls!! It's the fucking Champions League semi-final, the last European game to be played at Old Trafford this season and I'd be damned if I were to miss it!!

Even though I only found out last Friday that my ticket application was successful, I didn't mind at all. Train tickets booked and good to go. I was very hyped as I made my way to the stadium along with a huge stream of supporters, singing songs as they made their way into the stadium. It's all part of the matchday experience.

These are things you don't get with Manchester United pre-season tours in Asia, where the glory hunters all come out in full force. Malaysian Manchester United supporters should come with the Malaysian Red Devils supporters club to the match in KL on July 28. It'd be much more fun to go to the match with the club. No kidding. Moving on....

I walked straight into the terraces as there really wasn't much to do outside. I've already taken all the photos I need from my past visits to the stadium. I really don't want to spend my money in the Megastore. As a matter of fact, I only had 12 quid on me, of which 5 I spent on a match day scarf, 3 on a programme, and 4 to put aside for the bus ride to Kuan Ching's place.

Milan, 6 time European Champions, went into the match knowing what United did to Roma a fortnight ago when the Reds absolutely tore the Italians apart 7-1. Fact is, there is no team in Europe right now that are playing the kind of football United is playing at the moment: free-flowing, attacking football. Not even the self-proclaimed "kings of silky football" from London, Le Arse.

I duly took my seat at the East Stand. The view was perfect, much better than the South Stand and the North-West quadrant where I was sat the past few times. The stadium was just beginning to fill and right from the outside, you get the sense that everyone was up for it. We know when a huge match is beckoning and everyone outside the stadium making their way in that night was in full voice.

A banner at the East Stand upper terrace with Kaka's face on it caught my eye. The Italians were already there, albeit a little quiet. There was also an entire section of away supporters on the left terrace from where I was at. It did not worry me one bit as I was in Old Trafford, Manchester not the San Siro in Milan so the helmet and body armour was left at home.

The team sheets were read out to the crowd, confirming what we already know. Our entire defensive line-up were ravaged by injuries. It never is a joy to have to face AC Milan, much less without your entire first choice defence. No Rio, Vidic nor Gary Neville. Patrice Evra was back though, which meant Fletcher did not have to slot in at right back.

By then, the stadium was packed and faint chants of "United, United!" were heard from the West Stand. Like an avalanche that grew in size as it swept across the stadium, it quickly became a loud roar. That was when I first felt the spine chills that European nights offer. Old Trafford became a huge cauldron of noise with songs deafeningly echoing around the stadium. Those that weren't singing were clapping along. Fantastic atmosphere, it was.

One can only wonder what the Italians higher up in the stands were thinking. This is nothing like the quiet half empty stadiums in Italy. This is not the Stadio Delle Alpi in Turin nor the Olympic Stadium in Rome. Benvenuto a Old Trafford, i miei amici.

"We are the Pride of the North" came from the East Stand next, and it really helped that all the supporters around me were vocal. Now I get to sing and chant along without looking like an absolute nutter!

The PA speakers around the stadium started booming. The 2 teams walked out to the pitch and formed a line in front of the centre circle. A familliar tune started playing. It was the Champions League anthem blaring across the stadium. I took a video of it, and it was the last one I'd take that night. I decided to enjoy the match without the trouble of having to hold a camera phone.

The announcer started to announce the players' name on each teams. Each Milan players' name was greeted with jeers and whistles and naturally, every one of the Reds' name (even Richardson) were punctuated with cheers.

By the time the whistle was blown to signify the start of the game, an ear-splitting rendition of "U-N-I-T-E-D" was already doing it rounds around the stadium. United started brightly, and right away Ronaldo was already making runs down the right flank. As suspected, Fergie sent out a 4-5-1 to match Milan's system, with Rooney as the lone striker and Fletcher, Carrick and Scholes the trio in the heart of the midfield.

We had the upper hand for much of the opening minutes, or at least through my red-tinted glasses, we were!! Barely 5 minutes into the game, the East Stand got up on its feet in anticipation of a Giggs corner.

Giggs' ball in was met with a mad scramble and the next thing we knew, the ball was in the back of the net. Who scored, at that point, was unclear but to heck with it. United are 1-0 up! A couple of minutes later, the name Cristiano Ronaldo was announced through the speakers.

It was the perfect start we were hoping for and you can't help thinking about the final already even though there is quite a while to go yet. If the crowd wasn't in high enough spirits before then, they certainly are now! The away supporters were very unlike their English counterparts, barely a murmur came out from the stands. It was a far cry from the exchange of taunts that happens regularly against English away supporters every weekend in the Premier League.

We started extremely brightly and Ronaldo saw a few chances pass him by. Even O'Shea got the crowd going with a couple of step-overs. Milan however, started to do their usual stuff, play keep ball and passing it around midfield.

It is a known fact that English and Italian sides play very contradicting styles of football. The Italians play a patient brand of football and are very good at keeping the ball and tiring the opposition down before striking when an opportunity shows itself while the English sides' first instinct when they have the ball is to attack and press the opponents for it when they don't.

It was pretty evident though that we have an ace against Milan and that is pace, loads of it. Milan just weren't comfortable with our counter-attacks and each on of them were roared on by a capacity 76,000 crowd in the stadium. As the teams look pretty settled, we decided to indulge ourselves with a little jibe at the blue rent-boys from London, the current English Champions, Chelsea:

"Mourinho, are you listening?
You better keep our trophy glistening,
Cz we'll be back in May,
to take it away,
Walking in a Fergie Wonderland"

Which made the Kaka goal at about 20 minutes all the more hard to swallow for Milan did little right until then. A slow build-up by Milan at the left flank was beautifully finished by Kaka, who made a great run from midfield to outpaced everyone else and coolly slotted past Van der Sar.

Everyone was stunned. The away supporters who were subdued before then, came into life and started singing and chanting. Most of them looked in our general direction and started fist-pumping at us. A couple of the Brits on our side told them where to go.

This is where the myth about United fans being quiet when the chips are down goes down the drain. Right away, we responded, roars of "Red Shirts, Come on You Reds" drowning out the Italian chants.

Milan started to dominate our midfield by then but we still managed to create a couple of half chances. Evra got past their defence and really got the crowd on its feet only to be flagged for offside while Ronaldo continued to make his runs but the lack of an end product coupled with his selfishness really got on the crowd's nerves at times.

Nothing was going our way as well. The referee was a right tosser and kept giving bad decisions against us. And at the 40th minute, Kaka struck again. A disaster at the back of the defence left Kaka wide open in front of goal and as much as we prayed God could strike him down, he scored to give Milan the lead. Again, the away supporters magically sprouted into life, sang a couple of tunes and sunk back into non-existence.

2-1 it was and it was going to be a huge mountain to climb. The teams went in at half-time with everyone in the stadium wondering if this was to be our night or were we to fall short again. Noone seemed to be interested at the half-time proceedings. Formula One driver and supposed United fan Mark Webber was introduced but noone gave a toss about him. Hehe, what a loser.

The teams came out again for the second half and there were no changes to either side. Fergie reverted to a 4-4-1-1 though, to give the team a more attacking outlook. To the crowd's delight, right away, the lads showed they weren't going down without a fight and it unsettled Milan. We were first to all the 50-50's and the crowd sensed a comeback and really upped the temperature for the Italian pin-up boys.

Wave after wave of United attacks were thwarted but not before Milan sprang a couple of counter-attacks of their own. When Kaka volleyed over the bar after a series of passes pinged past us, the jeers were more of relief than taunts. 3-1 would really have killed the tie.

The sight of 10 red shirts running at full pace against your ageing legs roared on by 76,000 people couldn't have been a pretty sight but that was what happened. Everyone was cheering on the team. I was slighly overwhelmed, to be honest. I've never heard anything like it. The noise was incredible.

The players seemed to take on the energy from the crowd and upped the tempo against Milan. We could see it then. Milan were bottling it. And what do they do? They started to resort to dirty tricks like time-wasting and diving. Dida took ages for a goal-kick and players started to go down "injured" to pause the game and slow the pace of the match down.

Fletch went in for a clean tackle on Gattuso but the cheating bastard fell like a sack of potatoes. Sorry mate, bad move. The referee awarded a free-kick against us and this time, the crowd really went mad from the sense of injustice. Jeers and whistles resonated around the ground, and "Same old Italians, Always Cheating" chants thundered down onto the field. Not pretty to be on the receiving end, I can tell you that.

Ronaldo was not brilliant but was still keeping at it on the left, tormenting Oddo who must be wondering if the match would ever end. At one point, there were 4 Milan players surrounding United's no.7, and a sweet pass to Rooney came to nothing as Gattuso swept Rooney down to the ground. No booking. Unbelievable. Justice was served when Gattuso came off injured moments later. No hero's applause for him though. He left the field to whistles and boos.

Without Gattuso keeping the ship steady in midfield, Milan's threads began to unravel. They were losing the midfield battle. Every lost 50-50 was greeted with roars. "Come on, you Reds" was a regular theme throughout the match and all our pressure paid off when Rooney scored on the hour mark. Needless to mention, the crowd went ballistic.

2-2. Game on. The away supporters did not show the slightest hint of reaction which is understandable for they knew what was unfolding before their eyes. Milan had cracked. Buckled under the pressure. Noone in the ground believed that Milan would score another one. Kaka, who had been brilliant in the first half, was completely anonymous. From then on, it was all United.

They didn't even have the intention of scoring another one. They knew 2 away goals were enough and it was damage limitation time. And it was. 2-2 was hardly the perfect result for us. We needed at least one more and we knew Milan was very vulnerable at that stage and was there for the taking.

The sight of Solskjaer warming up on the sidelines caught the crowd's attention. "Ole, ole, ole, ole" rang out from the East Stand. What we wouldn't give to have our super-sub save our arses again. Wasnt' to happen, though. None of the starting XI were substituted as it turned out.

It was clear that Gattuso's departure was the turning point as Milan just couldn't live with the pressure United were applying to them. Carrick and Scholes were stringing passes left and right and Fletcher was immense in midfield. Giggs' freekicks came very close and Fletcher had a wonderful shot saved by Dida. He was the only one keeping them in the game.

As the minutes ticked by, the stadium got more tense. Everyone was wondering if that was it. A 2-2 draw.

The 4th official held up the board signalling 2 minutes of added time. Too little time added on after all the Italians' time-wasting antics. I am sure Fergie would have something to say about that.

That sense of injustice was quickly put aside however when Giggs and Rooney broke away from the Milan midfield and started to break.

Everyone in the stadium rose to their feet in anticipation. The Milan defenders back-pedalled desperately at the sight of Giggs running at them at full flight. They knew once they let either Giggs or Rooney past them, they were never going to catch them. Not at age 34 anyway. Giggs then cut infield towards the middle and Rooney cut outwards in the opposite direction.

"Come on, Giggsy, pass it!"

But he didn't. Not immediately anyway. He waited and waited and waited. And then, he slotted the perfect pass to Wayne Rooney and I could have sworn time stopped there and then.

Rooney began to shape himself to shoot....

"yeaa....."

... and the ball rocketed past Dida into the back of the net...

".....AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Milan had totally bottled it and Old Trafford erupted. All the tension and nerves that had been building up to that goal was just let loose. Everyone just went crazy, screaming, hugging each other and jumping. I'll never forget that moment as long as I live. The volume was ear-splitting. This bloke beside me put his arms around me and we just jumped and jumped with sheer jubilation. Football, eh? Fucking hell, indeed!!

As the Milan players dragged themselves to restart the game, a crashing chorus of "Glory, Glory Man United" boomed from the stands. They tried to attack but ended up passing the ball around in midfield till the final whistle. They knew the first leg was over. The referee blew to end the game and again, cries of joy were heard around the stadium.

The players left the pitch to a well-deserved standing ovation and the fans continued to savour the moment. The announcer's voice came on the speakers again announcing the score:

Manchester United 3 AC Milan 2

As the large crowd bottle-necked at the exit, loud renditions of "Oh United, We Love You" were sung by all the reds. I looked to the left where the away supporters were and they began applauding us. They knew how special the night had been, the intensity of the crowd and the sight of United grabbing a late winner yet again. We returned the courtesy.

Of course, the semi-final tie is far from over. There is still a second leg at Milan and the 2 away goals could prove decisive but at that night, nobody gave 2 hoots. From the high spirits of the crowd, you'd be forgiven for thinking we'd won the cup!!

That's Old Trafford for you and I was really privileged to have been able to witness United at our best on a huge European night. Here's to hoping we can go all the way and win the lot. In the meantime, I'll just keep replaying the night over and over again, when I was at Old Trafford. Home of Manchester United, the pride of Europe. The Theatre of Dreams...

....until you try to make your way out post-match, that is.....

Capische?

2007-03-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

Just saw this video and I knew I had to share it with everyone else.. Malaysian rap at its finest, introducing our very own 50 sen.. Rapping about Muar, insulting KL dudes, explaining why Wira is so common and slamming foreign workers. This is an instant classic...

You do need some knowledge of Mandarin to really understand how good the lyrics are though..

The good thing about Blogger is I now get to embed youtube videos here, so you can now watch it straight..

......... and nobody gets hurt, capische??

** Link courtesy of Xin Long **

Food Poisoning Hell

2007-03-11T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hall food tastes horrible. There is no need to go into detail again as it's a commonly known fact. You go for dinner every evening with the lowest expectations possible, anticipating horrible food and yet, like something out of a bad horror flick, the kitchen staff STILL manages to surprise you!!

And as if having to eat bad food everyday isn't bad enough, I got food poisoning off it last Wednesday. Okay, I also had some fast food that afternoon but it's easier to blame the nastier tasting one. So I got a stomach bug off a meal that I didn't even enjoy in the first place. If there's anything worse than getting screwed, it's getting screwed twice.

Here, let's try something. Try and picture this.

You're married to a fat lady. Day after day, you come home from your 9-5 job, exhausted from your long day of web-surfing and water-cooler chatting, and you come home to a less than flattering looking woman. She's the complete package: she burps when she eats, she snorts every now and then and she has a huge mole on her nose. Oh yeah, and she weighs 400 pounds. You don't like to face her, but you have to because she lives with you. You put up with it day after day after day until one beautiful night, while you're both sleeping on the bed, she rolls over, squashes you and you suffocate. You kick and you struggle and you felt like hell. You fall unconscious, and you're immediately rushed to the hospital.

Here's the best part: a) You survive. b) Yep, she's still your wife.

Twist it a bit and that is exactly how it is with hall food at my place at the moment.

I woke up at around 5 am last Thursday and I didn't feel right at all. For some reason, I was feeling incredibly nauseous. I went to the toilet to take a leak and on the way back to my room, I felt it. I quickly opened my room door, jumped for the sink immediately and it was amazing, what I puked. Pure water with a bit of scraps, and believe me when I tell you, it wasn't a trickle, it was like turning on a tap at full blast. My knees were completely weak while I was doing The Great Puke.

I felt a bit better after that and decided to sleep it off but that's when the fever struck. Not long after, I begin to feel that gastric like pain at the stomach area. Cue my first trip to the loo. I shall spare you the details. All I will say is that it was nothing disgusting, just water. As in really fluid water, water. and to round everything off and tie it with a ribbon, I had a presentation later that day.

I love presentations and public speaking, it's one of the few things I excel in. I was up all night preparing the business pitch for the water pump my group designed but it was all to go to waste. I decided to split the parts up for my groupmates to present and needless to say, with the lack of preparation time, it didn't come off very well.

Later that afternoon, I managed to make an appointment with the doctor at 9am the next day, which is very lucky. Yeah, you have to make appointments here in the UK, and sometimes, you have to wait out an entire weekend to see a doctor even if you have a fever!

I took some off the pills I brought from Malaysia. I got those the last time I had food poisoning in Malaysia and since the University Hospital people were really generous with the drugs, I have excess. I had to fight the pain the entire night and the loss of appetite really wasn't helping at all. The good news was I managed to sweat out the fever by nightfall.

I was much better the following morning when I went for my doctor's appointment. His name was Dr. Royal and right from the get-go, I noticed something wrong. He was typing in my symptoms into the computer and out came a list of what the disease was, and how to treat it etc etc. I don't know about you but when I go to see a doctor, the last thing I want to see on his screen is this!

No, it wasn't exactly Google and one of my medic friends later explained that doctors have to follow certain procedures for treating certain diseases to avoid getting sued. In any case, he does know what he is doing and he only brought up the page to print it for me so fair play.

What irked me though, was the treatment he suggested: there are no treatment, just drink more fluids and get more rest. Translated in my head as: just sit out the pain and pray hard it goes away in a few days. What the... nothing? not even some pain-killers or the like? When I had gastroenteritis in Malaysia, the hospital people jabbed something into me and instantly (literally), I felt much better. Like I said just now, they even gave me some medicine to bring home.

So I guess, the point of seeing a doctor is to confirm that you have the disease you already know you have. Oh, and the doctor's letter. Which is actually not a bad consolation because now I get to delay the submission of my coursework that was due on Friday for a whole weekend. Not bad.

My mum went mental on me when she heard I got food poisoning. Can't blame her, I've been here barely half a year and I've already been sick thrice. She's hell-bent on getting me home for Easter because she "can't trust me to take care of myself". Mothers, over-protective much. My baby's been real caring though, as always, muaks muaks.

By the way, after the last post about "gaining weight", I actually managed to gain weight: 3kg to be exact. The kick in the nuts? I got food poisoning and flushed all my efforts down the toilet, literally. Life is good.

Dude, where's my carb?

2007-02-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

I find myself asking all the time ,"How in the world do you get fat?!" I look on in jealousy all the time as people come back from their studying stint overseas for the summer looking all bloated and sporting double chins. A double chin! Wow! That's like the holy grail of all aspiring weight-gainers..

It sucks to be thin and don't tell me it has to do with my diet because I eat more than you can imagine. I love food, I don't go to bed without munching down a chocolate bar (or 2) and devouring a bag of chips. I eat the regular 3 meals a day and a lot of snacks in between, but it never works, the damn needle on the weighing scale just won't go up.... and I am getting desperate!

It's hard to look good in clothes when you're lanky. Heck, it's hard to look good when you're lanky. Thank God I have a respectable height (about 5 feet 11) so being picked on at high school wasn't a problem at all for me (at least not after Form 2) but I digress. I didn't even realize how bad it was until I stumbled upon this photo at the Further Maths blog.

Let's ignore the fact that I got suckered into making a tackle and got beaten 1v1 and check out those arms. Holy shit, if those arms were any thinner, they'd snap under their own weight! By the way, I am not anorexic, that would be the furthest thing from the truth. Anorexics stick their fingers into their throats after every meal. I, on the other hand, well, I eat. A lot.

It's so distressing. To eat and eat all those desserts and chocs and extra helpings and still not gain any weight. I am at a point where calling me fat is actually a compliment! Anyway, I've been doing push-ups everyday in a feeble attempt to build some muscles, stopping short of going to the gym. I believe that there has to be a way to exercise without having to spend 100 pounds on a sports complex membership. I am proud to say that I can easily do 100 push-ups a day now: 20 in the morning, 20 before lunch, 20 in the afternoon.......

Results can be frustrating. I was at 62kg and was pretty pleased when I built myself up to 65kg after about 3 months, but God has to be taking the piss outta me, because I swear I dropped back down to 62kg when I weighed myself again 3 days later!!

That's right, it has come to this. I am putting the blame squarely on the shoulders of the Almighty himself, God. I am pretty convinced He put the Mary Kate Olsen curse on me. No, I refuse to blame the zero error on the weighing scale for the 3kg loss. It's God's fault.

Oh by the way, don't get the wrong idea. I don't eat for the sole purpose of gaining weight. I am a food lover. It's just that the supposed "downside" of eating too much isn't happening to me and it's not fair! Here's a rough idea of what I munch on at night. I don't have to tell you what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner in halls because it's the same: some variation of potatoes and meat pies and if you're really lucky, there will be rice with curry. No extra servings, not even if you pull an Oliver Twist.

Packed sandwiches. These are awesome, with my favorite being the prawn sandwiches. Please, no lame jibes about a United fan eating prawn sandwiches. Plus, it's bread and what better bonus is there for eating your favorite ham and egg sandwich than knowing that you're practicing the Anti-Atkins diet.

Sainsbury's chocolate chips cookies. Those cookies are loaded with chocolate chips. Honest. Half of a Sainsbury's cookie can put 2 Chipsmore cookies to shame. They're definitely not as good as Famous Amos but at 39p for a tube, I am not complaining.

Here's a look at my stash. Snack sized Chocolate Bars, Jaffa Cakes, Chocolate Digestives, Cadbury's Cake Bars, Snickers, Mars and Flapjacks. Not a lot, but you can't stock up a lot in the UK. Snacks here are expensive. I mean, can you look at the photo and tell me that that's worth RM70? I thought not.

Nissin noodles. Not quite healthy but they do the trick when you're hungry and cold at night (the bastards turn off the heaters after midnight).

So there, I do not concern myself a lot about weight, or lack of, these days. Apparently, it could have to do with my family genes as well. I saw photos of my dad when he was about my age, and he was like a stick insect but look at him now, folks exercise by jogging around him!

In the meantime, it would be great if someone can spare some tips on how I can actually gain weight without doing a reverse liposuction. Snickers for your thoughts?

English, The English, and The English's English

2007-02-16T13:03:00.000-08:00

Can't believe how rusty I am when it comes to writing shit; they were right when they warned you about instant messaging too much. My English is all over the place right now, all my participle and perfect tenses are jumbled up, my grammar is messed up and my vocabulary was the same as when I left high school if not worse. I personally don't mind as I am not exactly a paid journalist or a poet, far from it, I am a mechanical engineer and engineers live in a world where English purists will get lost in. I mean, where else will you find a sentence that follows the form "if......else...."?! (only c programmers know what I am talking about, and even then, it's still a very lame joke, thank you very much)

I do wonder, however, what a qualified English teacher would think when they see how children these days are using three full stops instead of one... Oh, there I go again. We all remember the basic rules of writing that gets drilled into our head in high school but all those went down the pipes after a couple of years without a proper English Language module. You can almost feel the deterioration. Some examples will definitely be "cant" instead of "can't", "your" for both its literal meaning and "you're", i instead of I, and of course the classic "its" and "it's". There is bound to be more but I honestly don't know what is right or wrong anymore.

While I am on the subject of the usage of the English Language, the 2nd most widely spoken language in the world (the first being bullshit), the one thing I've noticed since I got here is that there really are a lot of myths about the English people that we tend to conjure up back home. For one, and let's get this out of the way first, their command of the English Language is not all it's hyped up to be. I know some people might go, duh, but let's face it, that's what we tend to believe in Malaysia; that all English people are masters at the English Language. We have this section called "boob watch" in the MoE section in the Star, where they highlight obvious English mistakes in signs and pamphlets and whatever that goes into print. Quite honestly, I've seen a couple of gems here that would make the list in The Star as well. I really don't remember but I'll remember to snap some photos when I see it the next time.

Oh, and I notice how they sometimes love to use "literally" in their sentences when the predicate doesn't carry any figurative meaning at all! It's almost as if they are using it just for the sake of elongating their sentences. They'd go "I literally finished everything, I was so hungry!" and "She literally phoned him up and asked him if he was cheating". Huh? Wha..?

And expanding on the myths topic, another famous one is that Malaysia has first world infrastructre but third world service and we should look up to Westerners and set our bar that high up as well when it comes to customer satisfaction. To a certain degree, I agree, but only if customer satisfaction means having a 30-day return policy because other than that, their customer service is not all it's cracked up to be and dare I say it, even worse than what we have in Malaysia. Try calling any customer service department and you'll get attendants that really don't give a shit about what you're talking about, putting you on hold for ages and giving you half-hearted responses. I mean, they tell you what you want to know but they won't go the extra length. E.g. if the shirt is out of stock, it's out of stock. Unlike Malaysia, they will not check with the other outlets if there are anymore available.

No, I am not stereotyping all of them and of course there are places and people who give you sterling customer service but yeah, the next time you see a letter to The Star telling you about how great our foreign counterparts are, just think of a used-to-death proverb. A clue, it involves the words "grass" and "greener". Oh, not the bus and rail services in Notts though, those are perfectly fine. Long live Rainbow and National Express.

Moving on, one thing I've realized since I got here is how much Malaysians categorize each other based on race. We have gotten so used to calling each other "Chinese", "Indian" and "Malay" when what we really are are "Malaysians". It took me quite a while to reply "No" to "Are you a Chinese?". Get what I am trying to say? It is fun though to tell people that Malaysia is a country filled with half-bloods. We're neither here nor there. We celebrate almost everything on the calendar. We have authentic Chinese, Malay and Indian food. We can speak English, Malay and multiple Chinese dialects but are most of the time, proficient in neither. Which leads me to the ultimate question, what is Malaysia's identity? How do we explain what Malaysia is or isn't? We're not a pure Islamic nation, neither are we an oriental-type Asian country, sorry Indian friends, I don't know how to describe India and Bangladesh and the like.

To be fair, I can so easily tell the answer to a foreigner if only I knew how to say "rojak" in English.

It's also funny when everytime they see an Asian male, and by Asian, I mean oriental Asian (Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese), they automatically assume you're a martial arts expert! I kid you not! It does get annoying when they try to make Bruce Lee noises, ask you to teach them moves and do the crane position they saw in the Karate Kid but still, it's funny as heck to see them make a fool of themselves. Oh, and did you know that every yellow-skinned person with small eyes is automatically a Chinese and speak really bad English? Because I get a lot of "wow, you speak pretty good English, I didn't expect that". Seriously mate, what were you expecting, "chings" and "chongs" in my everyday speech?!

Having said that, I am a sensible person though and to be fair to them, if we were to see a Caucasian, based on appearance alone, we'll never be able to tell their nationalities anyway so we can't really expect them to do the same for us. But still, for the record, and I am getting really sick of saying this, not all Chinese fry really good rice and jump 20 feet in the air!

You look like this.

Don't mistake this as a "white-hating" post though because I do not hate the locals here. Far from it, if there are anything average Malaysians can learn from them is their friendliness. Some of us in the UK may beg to differ, but I found the Brits in general to be really warm and friendly, right down to the cashiers, the block cleaners and the kitchen porters at the dining hall, whereas you would be lucky to squeeze a smile out of the Giant Hypermarket cashier you frequent every fortnightly.

By the way, the English accents does my head in at times though. It was hell for me during my first week. I could barely register what my blockmates were telling me. Give me American accents any day, baby! It's a lot better now though, and yes, I do tend to drift into a fake accent when I talk to them but only because Manglish is un-understandable to non-Malaysians. I don't act all cheem and posh in front of my Malaysian friends, okay?

Sigh, when I look at the calendar, it feels like it has only been a while but in reality, I have barely 3-4 more months here in the UK. Such a pity indeed. Everytime I think of the Malaysia Campus in Semenyih and compare it to the Nottingham Campus, I die a little inside. If only I could somehow bring the best of Malaysia over here, low tuition fees, food, my car, my baby(muaks).... You might not notice this, but I said bring the best of Malaysia over instead of the best of UK home, because, quite frankly, it's easier as there's not a lot of good in Malaysia in the first place!

"Be more patriotric, you ungrateful bastard!" Well, what do you want me to say anyway? Oh, I love scorching weather, internal politics drama, racial bias, rising toll prices and low wages?! As the Brits would say, you're having a laugh!

Thank God for Blogger

2007-02-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I was sceptical at first but I must say Blogger really kicks ass. So finally, I found a blog provider user-friendly and comfortable enough to call home. I am useless with HTML so I will stick to the available blog layouts. Haven't blogged in ages, so I am gonna have to shake some of the blogging rust off.

I have been spending a lot of time on Youtube recently and found a couple of gems, so I included a links section on the side-bar. I've only added a couple of links there so I don't over-flood it but I ll be adding more to the list as time goes by so check the vids out.

I realized I have hardly blogged about my Nottingham life at all which is a pity because there are loads to talk about, i.e. the Christmas travelling, Notts life in general, the one week in Raleigh Park and LOADS MORE, I should remind myself to do a mega summary one of these days..

If it's any news at all, I am going to Old Trafford again next month, going to clock up the visits before I go back to Malaysia, and the good news is, this time I am not going alone. The not-so-good news is out of the 7 who are going, only 2 are United supporters but oh well..

It's getting late here but now that I have a blog service I enjoy using, I ll have loads to tell, so there should be more updates over the coming week.